Divorce brings major changes to the family. Adults have many issues to deal with, but what parents may not realize is the impact it has on children. Kids may feel a large array of emotions when the family unit changes. As a parent, you want to provide as much support and stability as possible during this stressful period. You need to help your children adjust to the changes so they will feel safe and loved by both parents.
Talking to Children About Divorce
One of the first tasks you will need to tackle is to explain the situation and the changes to your children. The details you provide will depend greatly on the age of the child as well as their emotional maturity. Young children need few details except to tell them how the changes will make life different. Older children will want to understand how this will impact their lives as well as more details about how the new arrangements will work. Above all, you must instill in your children a sense of security.
Tips for Helping Children Through Divorce
It is important to understand that children will feel a range of different emotions during the separation and divorce process. Acknowledge their feelings and talk to them about how to express their emotions in a positive way. Be available to answer questions and let them know that whatever they are feeling is okay. Try to establish a new routine that everyone can easily follow. This will go a long way towards creating a new normal. Children are very resilient and often react positively to consistency. Set up a schedule for doing homework, eating dinner, and having a regular bedtime.
What to Avoid When Dealing With Your Kids
There are many things to avoid when helping children cope with divorce. Resist the urge to speak negatively about the other parent. Don’t argue with your spouse in front of the children. If you are having communication problems with your ex, don’t involve the children. Do not talk to your spouse through your kids. Don’t use your children against the other parent, which could make kids feel as though they have to choose sides. Don’t ignore your children’s feelings and pay attention to how they are coping with the situation.
When More Help is Necessary
Divorce does not affect every child the same way. Many factors make adjusting to divorce easier for some children than others. It is best to continue to monitor your child throughout the process to ensure their well-being. Pay attention to the signs that could mean that your child is having problems dealing with the changes. Your child may become withdrawn or may become more disruptive. They could begin to have difficulty in school. Some children may have physical symptoms such as headaches. If you see that your child is struggling with the divorce, you will want to take further action through family therapy or counseling.
North Carolina requires a separation period of one full year before a couple is allowed to divorce. You can utilize this period to establish new routines and a new family norm. To discuss divorce and separation with our legal team, contact us today at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, at (704) 370-2828.
The family law practice group at Arnold & Smith, PLLC includes two Board-Certified Family Law specialists and one Child Welfare Law specialist, as well as several attorneys with many years of family law experience that are committed to providing a powerful voice to individuals facing the often-tumultuous issues in this area of law. The range of issues our family law clients may be facing include pre- and post-nuptial agreements; separation agreements; post-separation support; child support (both temporary and permanent); absolute divorce; divorce from bed and board; military divorce; equitable distribution of assets; child custody (both temporary and permanent); retirement benefits and divorce; alimony and spousal support; adoption; and emancipation. Because this area of the law is usually emotionally charged and complicated, the family law attorneys at Arnold & Smith, PLLC act with the utmost dedication to ensure that each client understands his or her options, and then act to achieve the best result possible for that client’s particular situation.
Source:
https://dictionary.apa.org/family-therapy
https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce-and-marriage/separation-and-divorce
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