Divorce is one of the most stressful events in your life. When you decide to divorce, you begin a new journey that will result in major life changes for you and your family. Divorce has a reputation for being contentious, but it does not need to be that way. With some effort and planning, you can ensure that you have an amicable end to your marriage and pave the way for a courteous relationship in the future. While you do not need to be best friends with your ex, it does help if you can maintain a cooperative relationship.
Take Time to Heal
Divorce can be an emotional roller coaster. When you decide to end your marriage, you may be angry or upset. This can be a difficult period of adjustment, and it makes sense to take some time to come to terms with your new path in life. North Carolina law requires you and your spouse to live apart for at least one year before you can divorce. It is helpful to take that time to process the various stages of grieving your relationship so you are ready to face the situation with a more balanced attitude.
Shift to a New Type of Relationship
You have chosen to end your marriage, so your relationship with your spouse is going to change completely. Recognize that you are no longer romantic partners in life. Instead, you and your ex need to transition to a friendly and civil relationship. This does not mean that you have to be best friends, but it does mean that you need to change the way you look at your ex. You are now more like business partners, who need to work together to make decisions and come to resolutions that are best for both of you.
Learn to Communicate
Communication may have been a problem during your marriage, but now you can begin a new and better way to communicate. Since you are no longer married, you can take the emotional aspect out of the equation. If communication has been lacking in the past, it can be challenging to achieve now. It may be helpful to get help from a counselor. If you are unable to work out the settlement terms of your divorce, you may want to consider mediation. A divorce mediator is a neutral third-party who assists parties in negotiating disputes.
Focus on Shared Goals
It can be easy to get wrapped up in the minutiae of the divorce and forget about the big picture. Keep in mind that you both want to achieve a fair and equitable settlement. Avoid the urge to make unreasonable demands. If you have children, they are your main concern. Regardless of how you divide up your property, it will all get resolved in the long run. In the end, both parties are going to end up with their share of the marital property and typically will have some type of shared parenting arrangement.
Remember to Compromise
Compromise is the key to an amicable distribution of property and successful co-parenting. The law provides that divorcing couples come to an agreement that allows for an equal distribution of marital assets. Keep in mind that you and your spouse will need to sort out your assets and debts and come to an agreement that is fair and that works best for you. Consider collaborative divorce, which allows parties to resolve difficult disputes more easily and with less cost.
Contact our legal team at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, at (704) 370-2828 to schedule a consultation with our experienced divorce attorneys.
The family law practice group at Arnold & Smith, PLLC includes two Board-Certified Family Law specialists and one Child Welfare Law specialist, as well as several attorneys with many years of family law experience that are committed to providing a powerful voice to individuals facing the often-tumultuous issues in this area of law. The range of issues our family law clients may be facing include pre- and post-nuptial agreements; separation agreements; post-separation support; child support (both temporary and permanent); absolute divorce; divorce from bed and board; military divorce; equitable distribution of assets; child custody (both temporary and permanent); retirement benefits and divorce; alimony and spousal support; adoption; and emancipation. Because this area of the law is usually emotionally charged and complicated, the family law attorneys at Arnold & Smith, PLLC act with the utmost dedication to ensure that each client understands his or her options, and then act to achieve the best result possible for that client’s particular situation.
Source:
https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/collaborative_divorce
https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/mediator
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