Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”
If you are unhappy in your marriage and are contemplating calling it quits, chances are things have been bad for a while. No one wants to rush into something as serious and final as divorce. Ending a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions most people will ever face, which is why it is crucial to feel confident that you have made the right choice.
For some people divorce is clearly the best option. If the fighting has gotten out of hand with no hope of easing tensions and the stress has started to negatively impact your children, divorce is likely the right move. In other cases, the distance that a separation brings might be all that you need to get your marriage back on a sound footing. Yahoo put together a list of some of the following questions to ask before making the decision to divorce.
First, are you both ready to leave or is the unhappiness with only one party? This question is important because in cases where only one spouse is unhappy, a separation can often be a good idea. For one thing, a separation allows the unhappy spouse to have some space and really think through their decision. For another, it gives the other party time to come to grips with the idea of divorcing. If both parties want out, and are sure of it, then that might be a reason to consider divorcing since you are both already on the same page.
Second, are you able to articulate why you want to end your marriage? A counselor interviewed in Yahoo said that she always says that if you aren’t 100% sure why you want to divorce, then you should instead try a separation. The problem is that, especially in the heat of the moment or when couples are young, a decision to divorce can be made for what later seems like petty issues. A separation can give you both time to identify what exactly is wrong and whether it could be fixed.
Third, what is the issue that has led you to consider divorcing? Before deciding whether your marriage is unfixable, you need to explore the nature of the problem that drove you apart. Is it something like verbal or physical abuse? How about drug dependency or a gambling problem? Is it instead something more mundane like a lack of that old loving feeling or a communication problem? Not to minimize these issues, but things like communication problems can be more easily worked on in a separation than issues like physical abuse or repeated infidelity.
Fourth, ask yourself whether you are willing to go to counseling. If you are willing to try therapy to work through your issues then separation is something you should consider before moving to a divorce. If neither of you is willing to put in the work any more then maybe it’s best to call it quits and move forward with your life alone.
If you find yourself facing a complicated family matter then you need the help of experienced child custody lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina who can help guide you through the often confusing process.
“Should You Divorce or Separate?,” by Natasha Burton, published at Yahoo.com.
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