Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Equitable Distribution of Marital Property

Published on: May 24, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Family law judges in North Carolina apply the divorce concept of equitable distribution when it comes time to divide the property and debts between a divorcing couple. This means that the marital estate, assets and debts, are to be divided in an equitable manner.

This means that the division of property and debts between the divorcing parties should be fair, but not always equal. There is no fixed standard to divide property, each case will be decided on its own facts, and the court’s discretion will not be disturbed on appeal without a showing of clear abuse (a very tough standard to meet).

Property includes personal items (such as cars, furniture and household items) and real property (land and houses). Debts include mortgages, car loans, and credit card bills. Really anything you can possess is thrown into the pot before it’s all split apart.

It’s important to note that not all property is subject to this equitable division. Items that qualify as non-marital include the following: property acquired by either party before the marriage; property acquired after certain stages of the divorce process; property excluded by written contract of the parties (likely a prenuptial agreement); and any increase in value of non-marital property that did not result from efforts of the other spouse.

Judges consider multiple factors when deciding how to divide property between the parties and it’s sometimes hard to know which issues hold the most sway. Some of the considerations before the judge including the following:

• The financial contributions of each spouse to the marriage
• The age and health of the spouses
• The length of the marriage
• The existence of retirement benefits
• Any potential alimony awards
• The child custody arrangement

Celebrity Divorce Lessons

Published on: May 22, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Many celebrity marriages are over in the blink of an eye. What can average Joes like us learn from the divorce mistakes of the rich and famous? Plenty. Though we might not have their money or fame, we can still learn lessons from their trials and tribulations:

• Get a prenup
When Mel Gibson divorced he was reported to have divided his $900 million fortune in half. Madonna’s ex, Guy Ritchie, is said to have walked away with an additional $90 million for his time with the singer. Kelsey Grammer, of Frasier fame, had to shell out $50 million to a former Playboy Playmate. Why did they all pay so much? Not because of their generosity, that’s for sure. All these unlucky souls lacked prenuptial agreements. Even if you don’t have their money (or close to it) a prenup can help secure the assets you do have and avoid an arbitrary division by a judge later on.

• Don’t trash your ex in public
Kim Kardashian and the rest of her family have wasted no time trash talking her ex, Kris Humphries since their 72-day marriage ended months ago. All the talking causes the process to drag on longer than necessary and leads to emotions running high along the way. Rather than hurting feelings more than has already happened keep quiet and tell your friends and family to do the same, at least until the papers are signed.

• Follow your child custody agreement
Follow whatever agreements you reached in court. When Alex Baldwin and Kim Basinger split Basinger tried to keep their daughter away from him. This move resulted in a very prolonged and nasty dispute between the two and led to hurt feelings all around. If you don’t hold up your end of the bargain your ex can drag you right back to court, costing you time and money, as well as damaging your relationship with your child, along the way.

Charlotte Divorce Tips – Protecting Finances

Published on: May 17, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

When North Carolina couples are confronted with the possibility of divorce once the emotional pain subsides, many begin to think about their financial wellbeing. There are some things you can do to help ensure that your assets are protected as divorce looms. Lynette Khalfani-Cox, a financial expert with AARP, gives the following suggestions:

Get the right family law attorney. Going through the phone book or randomly calling numbers will cast too wide of a net. Referrals from friends and family members are a good place to start and, given the high divorce rate, it’s likely you’ll know someone who’s been through the process.

Once you’ve reached out to an attorney it’s a good idea to have an in person meeting. Meet with them to make sure everything feels right; that they understand your particular needs and concerns and are skilled enough to do the work you need accomplished. If you trust them then listen to your instincts, if you get a bad vibe then it’s time to move on.

Don’t rely on mediation. Ms. Khalfani-Cox says that mediation is a good first step but that it should only be considered early on, to help get a feel for the tenor of the divorce. Making nice is what many women are prone to try to do and mediating your way out may not be the best way to protect your interests. A mediator’s job is to reach a resolution, not necessarily one that’s right for you.

Khalfani-Cox says the agreed upon settlement can be very one-sided and the mediator may not intervene. Only a good attorney can help tell you what’s reasonable and customary and what to realistically expect.

Set up separate accounts. One of the first things on the agenda should be shutting down the credit cards. No one needs to worry about one party going on a shopping spree and leaving the other with a hefty bill to pay.

Mortgages can’t be simply split up, there’s a process that must be gone through. Bank accounts can and should be divided right away. Also don’t forget that both parties are liable for credit card debt if they signed for the card, regardless of what agreement you have with your ex. If you were on the card and your ex doesn’t pay the company will come knocking on your door.
Know your assets and debts. Sit down and make sure you understand where you’re at financially. Calculate assets and debts. Take special attention when going through retirement accounts, pension, deferred compensation plans, etc. Things can get confusing and you’ll want to make sure nothing is missed. Information is power and you don’t want to be the party unaware of what assets are up for grabs when settlement time rolls around.

Charlotte Divorce Tips – Protecting Privacy (According to The Huffington Post)

Published on: May 15, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As you prepare to go through the sometimes tumultuous process of divorce it’s a good idea to make sure your soon-to-be ex isn’t snooping on some of your most private information. There are important reasons why you should avoid sharing your new life with your spouse. Some suggestions you might consider to help this natural separation along include:

• Set up your own bank accounts. One of the very first steps you should take as a newly single individual is to open your own bank accounts. It’s a place to spend money without being watched and to deposit your paychecks without allowing access by the other party.

• Apply for your own credit card(s). Establishing your own credit history is important following a divorce, as is having access to a line of credit that isn’t connected with your ex. This is also a way to keep purchases private.

• Review your “one click” purchasing arrangements. Many retailers make it easy for repeat customers to buy items without having to reenter credit card information. This is great most of the time, but not if your ex is the one racking up the bills. Create your own accounts linked to your own credit card that your spouse does not have access to.

• Get a new cell phone. Your ex doesn’t need to read through all the numbers you dial in a given day or see who you’ve been texting (including lawyers, accountants, even investigators). Splitting apart your cell phone plan is a great way to get a little more privacy.

• Change your online passwords. Many people know each other’s passwords for most if not all accounts. This can include Facebook, email, online banking and shopping. While that’s great when you’re happily married, it can create a multitude of headaches during a contentious divorce. You want to make sure that you alone control your online presence and to do that you’ll need to change your passwords to something your spouse is unlikely to guess. Don’t overlook all those little accounts you never think about. Your ex may remember them very well.

• Change your social media privacy settings. Thing can be made much easier if your ex isn’t forced to see pictures of all the fun you’re having without him or her. Keep your new life quiet and out of your ex’s News Feed.

Divorce in Mecklenburg County, NC and Facebook

Published on: May 10, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Facebook recently received tons of attention thanks to its disappointing IPO. Its’ now in the news for a different and surprising reason, a survey that revealed that in 2011 one-third of all divorce filing contained the word “Facebook.” The Wall Street Journal mentioned the shocking statistic and highlighted the news that 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys believe social networking in divorce proceedings is on the rise, according to data from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Attorneys cite examples of Facebook being brought up in the course of depositions, as evidence of infidelity or children’s pages being used to prove bad parenting. Once the information is released into the world it’s impossible to get it back and remains ripe for the picking when a contentious divorce takes place.

Only three years ago 20% of all divorce filings contained the word “Facebook.” Today that number stands at 33%, according to the AAML. Though the percentage increased the main reasons for the mentions have remained the same: inappropriate messages to people of the opposite gender and nasty comments between separated spouses.

One expert who researchers the relationship behavior of college students said that breaking up via Facebook is a way for some to permanently end a relationship that has been dragging on for far too long. Doing something so public is a good way to air dirty laundry and ensures that no attempt at reconciliation occurs.

Gay Divorce without Gay Marriage?

Published on: May 8, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

We’ve all read the articles about North Carolina voters’ decision to approve the constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. The issue is very controversial and has generated nationwide attention. But what about gay divorce? Like any other relationships, gay marriages can sometimes go bad. And, although gay marriage is not recognized still in many states, courts are having to grapple with what to do when a legally married gay couple wants to end things. One Ohio judge recently saw just such a case and decided to permit gay divorce in a state that doesn’t recognize gay marriage.

Two men from Columbus, Ohio, Jonathan Baize and Stephen Wissman, were granted a divorce in March by a judge with the Franklin County Domestic Relations Court. While it is certainly unusual for both parties in an Ohio divorce proceeding to be of the same sex, one attorney who was present at the hearing described the proceedings utterly “unremarkable.” Rather than serve as a historic moment in the state, the divorce was simply paperwork.

The two men married not long ago, on September 1, 2011, at a ceremony in New York State. They then returned home to Ohio but decided to divorce soon thereafter, a decision that has important implications for Ohio law. In 2004, Ohio voters approved an amendment to the state’s constitution that prohibited gay marriage. Supporters of the amendment have argued that by allowing a gay divorce a court would be forced to tacitly acknowledge that a marriage was valid in the first place.

Proponents of the decision turn to the letter of the law and point out that the amendment refers only to marriage and does not deal with same-sex divorce. The judge handling the case apparently agreed and decided to dissolve their relationship.

Charlotte, North Carolina Divorce Advice – Relationships with Former In-Laws

Published on: May 3, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article in the New York Times, divorce couples face a tricky issue that they may never have expected when beginning the process of separating from their significant other: grandparents. Most parents want them involved in their children’s lives but it can be complicated given hurt feelings on both sides.

If the divorce was civil and no one was at fault things might be fairly simple, but what if things didn’t go so swimmingly? The goal for parents should be keeping the grandparents in the family regardless of the parents’ differences. The following suggestions can help ease a difficult transition:

1. Figure out your own relationship with your ex’s parents.

What’s your relationship with your former spouse’s parents? Do you visits with them? If you’re comfortable, go for it. Coffee, e-mails, texts are great. If you’re not, now’s a good time to practice being civil. Don’t let whatever emotions you might have towards your husband spill over to the rest of his family.

2. Keep the lines of communication open.

One thing parents can do is make it clear to the grandparents that they have full access to the grandkids no matter what is going on between husband and wife. Make yourself available to the other side of the family, they might be worried about you cutting off contact and an olive branch can go along way to making everyone relax.

3. Issue invitations.

Ideally it would be good for the ex-spouse to take the lead in making certain that his or her parents were invited to graduations, to concerts, to school functions, etc., but if he or she doesn’t, do it anyway. Another good bit of advice is not to limit time with the paternal grandparents to when the kids are with their dad and vice versa for the maternal grandparents.

4. Be aware of the kids’ needs.

Sometimes having everyone gathered at the same time for holidays and family events isn’t what’s best for the kids. Many children won’t want to have their worlds collide with new spouses mixing with their parents and grandparents. If that’s the case, try for more visits under different circumstances. Better to have them spend time one-on-one and have the time be meaningful than put on a show that makes everyone uncomfortable.

Charlotte, NC Divorce Advice – Tips Your Spouse May Be Hiding Money (According to The Huffington Post)

Published on: May 1, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent article in the Huffington Post discusses clues that should set off alarm bells about whether one spouse is hiding money in preparation for a divorce.

People have special motivation to hide income and assets during a divorce in an attempt to avoid paying higher child support or alimony. One positive note is that hidden income can always be uncovered and the spouse who’s been kept out of the loop can eventually reclaim his or her rightful share.

If you’re afraid that your spouse may be hiding money consult with an experienced alimony lawyer in Charlotte, North Carolina to make sure that a search would be worth your time and expense. After all, forensic accountants can be quite costly so you’ll have to weigh whether the amount is worth chasing after.

Some important warning signs to watch for include the following:

1. If your spouse is self-employed and more knowledgeable about the family finances than you are and has expressed strong feelings about not involving lawyers or financial planners in your divorce.

2. Compare your lifestyle with your reported income. If there is a mismatch, further investigation is likely needed.

3. Look at the ratio of living expenses to income. If a mortgage payment is 75 percent of the reported income, it’s a good bet that there is hidden income floating around somewhere.

4. Pay attention to whether a business owner has multiple tax entities that do not seem to be necessary.

5. Are there any unusual business expenses? If a business is showing expenses that have nothing to do with the work they do it might be time to more fully analyze the books.

North Carolina Divorce Advice – How to Financially Prepare (According to Fox Business)

Published on: April 26, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Divorce is a difficult process, emotionally and financially. Before you blindly step into the mess, there are steps you can take to empower yourself by getting your finances in order. Taking the following steps can help make things run more smoothly and even lower your eventual legal bills by being ready for what’s to come. According to a recent FoxBusiness article, the following five tips are some that every soon-to-be-divorced couple should pay attention to for help making it through the process:

1. Evaluate your assets
The house is the biggest asset that most couples possess but there are still usually many more that qualify as marital assets that will need to be divided. People often forget about pensions from past jobs or stock options and deferred compensation plans. Such assets have values that are paid out in the future, not always simple divisions today.

2. Weigh your debt
To begin, prepare a summary of the last 12 months of all credit card and utility bills as well as personal and jointly held loans. Such a history will help you decide who should take on which debts. It’s important not to take on responsibility for debt associated with property you don’t control. For instance, if you are responsible for paying the car loan, you should be the one driving the car. This helps eliminate a lot risk and being liable for the actions of a soon-to-be former spouse.

3. Run a credit check and history
Everyone should conduct an annual credit check with all three agencies. Knowing where your credit stands prior to divorce can help prevent headaches down the line. It’s possible that you’ll discover a credit card or line of credit that you never knew existed, correcting inaccuracies (or preventing fraud) is important.

4. Track how much you spend
Taking stock of your spending habits and creating a realistic budget for your post-divorce life is crucial. Understanding that your old income will now be used to support two households is important. The same amount of money is now going to pay two rents or two mortgage payments, thus lifestyle adjustments will need to be made. People often underestimate how much they spend and putting everything down on paper forces couples to face the hard truth.

North Carolina Constitutional Amendment to Ban Gay Marriage

Published on: April 24, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent CBS News article discussed the decision by North Carolina voters to change the North Carolina state constitution this week to ban gay marriage. The law of the land now reads that the only legally valid domestic partnership in the state is marriage between a man and a woman. The constitutional amendment received broad support, passing 61% to 39%, and made the state the 29th to institute such a ban.

To some the amendment seemed unnecessary given that the state already had a gay marriage ban in place. The new amendment makes it even more difficult for lawmakers to ever attempt to change the law. It also goes further than the previous ban by preventing North Carolina local governments from extending health benefits to the domestic partners of their employees.

The lead up to the vote saw public pleas from Bill Clinton and President Obama. Supporters of gay marriage out-raised and out-advertised their opponents in the lead up to the vote, emphasizing in TV ads that the amendment could also even have repercussions for unmarried straight couples because of its vague language. The anti-amendment coalition raised more than $2 million. The pro-amendment crowd on the other hand, known as Vote for Marriage NC, raised a little more than $1 million.

Unfortunately only 46% of voters realized that the amendment would ban civil unions for gay couples as well as marriage. A recent poll by Public Policy Polling indicated that a majority of North Carolina voters support civil unions, a bit of contradiction given the results of the recent amendment fight.

North Carolina is far from the only state facing such issues. Minnesota faces a ballot gay marriage ban in November, as does Maine. On the other side of the dispute are states like Maryland and Washington who passed laws legalizing same-sex marriage. New Jersey recently did the same but found the measure vetoed by Republican Governor Chris Christie.

The recent passage has already lead to a few disputes. A lesbian who attempted to get a marriage license with her partner and was rejected was arrested with another person just yesterday after they refused to leave a government office. The protest was planned by the gay rights group Campaign for Southern Equality and was meant to broaden public support to allow same-sex marriage.