Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”
One of the most difficult adjustments for those who just went through a North Carolina divorce can be the nervousness surrounding getting back into the dating scene. After years spent married to one person it’s understandable that you may be feeling rusty and unsure of how to start putting yourself out there. Though no one should feel rushed to begin dating, meeting new people is one very effective way of moving forward with your life and creating a new sense of normalcy following the emotional upheaval of divorce. Though it can be scary, the following advice compiled by a recent Yahoo article is meant to help ease your transition back into dating.
One strategy recommended by the author of the Yahoo piece is that you need to pace yourself. This requires taking some time to really examine your level of emotional pain following your North Carolina divorce. If the split was recent and it was especially difficult, it is not a good idea to dive back into dating until you’ve had some time to process what went wrong. If you rush back into a new relationship you could simply be setting yourself up for the same kind of mistakes. It’s best to take time and start to heal emotionally before opening yourself up again to a new romance.
Another important bit of advice is that newly single adults need to be careful to avoid repeating previous relationship mistakes. It’s common for those emerging from a divorce to look for new partners that remind them of their former spouse. This can be OK so long as the similar traits are good ones, but it can be a recipe for disaster if you are merely recreating the bad marriage you just ended. If you begin to notice that a new person you are dating has some of the same negative character flaws as your former spouse you need to get out of the relationship and take some time to reassess what is causing you to choose similarly destructive mates. Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result. If you want to build a healthier and happier marriage then you need to start making different choices.
One especially important bit of advice that applies to those who are just ending a marriage is to work hard to leave the baggage from your broken marriage at home. Though it can sometimes be difficult to avoid discussing such an important and painful subject, it is critical that you not launch into lengthy conversations about your ex or your marital trouble during dates. Not only does this signify to the other person that you are still hung up on your ex, it’s a complete turnoff. Try and stay present and positive, discussing your current life and future dreams instead of dwelling on the dark past.
If you find yourself facing a complicated family matter then you need the help of experienced family law attorneys in Charlotte, North Carolina who can help guide you through the often confusing process of divorce.
About the Author:
Matthew Arnold is a Managing Member with Arnold & Smith, PLLC where he focuses his practice on most aspects of Family law including: divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, and equitable distribution. Mr. Arnold is an experienced trial attorney who has tried jury and bench trials in both North Carolina District Court and North Carolina Superior Court.
Mr. Arnold grew up in Charlotte, graduating from Providence Senior High School and continued his education at Belmont Abbey College on a basketball scholarship. After graduating cum laude he attended law school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill on a full academic scholarship. In his spare time, Mr. Arnold enjoys golfing and spending time on the North Carolina Coast with his wife and three young children: two daughters and one son.
“9 strategies to help you start dating again,” by Mike Hammer, published at Yahoo.com.
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