Who Gets the Kids on Christmas Morning?

Who Gets the Kids on Christmas Morning?

The holidays are supposed to be magical, especially for kids. However, for separated or divorced parents in North Carolina, Christmas can bring unexpected stress, confusion, and conflict.

Most custody orders don’t spell out every holiday detail, and when December arrives, parents often find themselves asking questions no one warned them about:

• Who buys the gifts?

• Who wakes up with the kids on Christmas morning?

• Can one parent change plans “just this once”?

• What happens if the custody order is silent or vague?

These issues don’t always show up in court orders, but they show up fast in real life.

When Custody Orders Don’t Cover Christmas Morning

Many North Carolina custody agreements address “holiday time” in broad terms:

• Alternating holidays each year

• Splitting Christmas Day

• Dividing winter break

What they often don’t address is Christmas morning itself. Which can be the most emotionally charged part of the holiday.

Without clear language, parents may have very different expectations, leading to last-minute disagreements and unnecessary tension.

Common Holiday Custody Conflicts We See

• Who Buys the Gifts?

Some parents assume gifts are handled individually. Others expect joint planning or cost-sharing. When expectations aren’t discussed ahead of time, misunderstandings are almost guaranteed.

• Who Wakes Up with the Kids on Christmas Morning?

This is one of the most common and emotional questions we hear. For many parents, Christmas morning feels irreplaceable. If the order doesn’t clearly say who has the children overnight, conflict can arise quickly. In North Carolina, the answer usually comes down to who has overnight custody on Christmas Eve, not who celebrates Christmas Day or who bought the presents.

If your custody order clearly assigns Christmas Eve overnight, that parent typically wakes up with the children on Christmas morning. Even if the other parent has time later in the day, Christmas morning itself usually belongs to the overnight parent unless the order says otherwise. If you’re unsure what your order actually allows, it’s better to get guidance before December 25th than to deal with conflict after it’s already ruined the morning.

• Can a Parent Change Plans “Just This Once”?

Holiday emotions often lead to informal requests:

“Can we switch this year?”
“It would mean a lot to the kids.”

While flexibility can be positive, changing plans without mutual agreement—or without following the court order—can create legal and co-parenting problems later.

What If the Custody Order Is Silent or Vague?

In North Carolina, if a custody order doesn’t clearly address a specific holiday issue, parents are expected to:

• Follow the general custody schedule

• Communicate in good faith

• Act in the child’s best interests

Unfortunately, vague language leaves room for disagreement and enforcement becomes harder when expectations aren’t clear.

This is why planning ahead matters.

How to Avoid Holiday Custody Conflict

The best time to address holiday details is before December arrives, not on Christmas Eve.

Clear communication, written agreements, and well-drafted custody orders can help prevent:

• Last-minute arguments

• Hurt feelings

• Stress for the children

• Emergency legal disputes during the holidays

When expectations are set early, everyone benefits.

Holiday custody issues aren’t about “winning” Christmas morning. They’re about creating stability and minimizing conflict during a season that should be focused on your children.

A little preparation now can protect your peace—and your parenting relationship—later.

To learn more, contact our skilled legal team at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, at (704) 370-2828 to schedule a consultation.

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