Five Common Divorce Mistakes to Avoid

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold answers the question: “Should I delete old posts or censor new posts while going through a divorce?”

The divorce process can be an emotional and overwhelming experience. This is especially true for those who are going through a divorce for the first time. You may not know what to expect and might be angry and stressed out over the entire ordeal. It is helpful to know some of the most common divorce mistakes to avoid so you can have a more balanced and realistic approach to the process. An experienced divorce attorney will answer your questions and guide the procedure from start to finish.


Do Not Reject Negotiation

Negotiation is the key to a successful divorce. You need to keep in mind that in North Carolina, assets acquired during the marriage are distributed in an equitable manner when couples divorce. You will be entitled to the same portion regardless of the circumstances. Therefore, it makes perfect sense to negotiate so you can be sure you and your spouse are left with the assets to which you are entitled. A skilled divorce attorney will negotiate on your behalf.


Do Not Delay the Process

In North Carolina, you must be separated from your spouse for a year before you can obtain an absolute no-fault divorce. There is plenty you can do during that time to resolve any differences and come to an agreement about the distribution of assets and other divorce settlement terms. One mistake that people can make is to hook up with their spouse during separation. If you do get back together with your spouse, even briefly, the separation clock needs to begin again, and you will be waiting another entire year to complete the process.



Do Not Try to Control the Divorce

Just like marriage, divorce is a two-way street. One of the problems with divorce is that it can amplify discourse in the relationship. You will get the best results when you remember that both you and your spouse need to share the assets and debts of your marriage. If you have children, both parents generally have equal rights to spend time with their kids and also provide for them. You will also want to make sure that you do not give your kids negative feedback about their other parent. Regardless of what went wrong with the marriage, you do not need to involve the children.


Do Not Forget to Plan for the Future

Some people spend so much time and energy fighting through their divorce that they fail to make plans for the future. Instead of focusing on the past, take some time to plan for the future. You want to make sure that you put yourself and your children on a positive trajectory. Consider family therapy or counseling to help everyone cope. Start forming updated family habits and creating traditions that will prepare your family for a happier new life.


Do Not Try to Go it Alone

Some people try to cut corners and may decide to handle the divorce without legal assistance. This can be a big mistake. Your attorney knows North Carolina divorce laws and also has special skills in negotiating divorce matters. Your lawyer will guide the entire process and make it easier and less stressful for everyone. Your attorney works on your behalf to make sure that you obtain a fair settlement and receive everything that you deserve.


If you are seeking to end your marriage, count on our compassionate and knowledgeable legal team at Arnold & Smith, PLLC.  Please contact us today to get a phone, video or in-person consultation by calling at (704) 370-2828 to speak with our detail-oriented and well-versed lawyers with offices in Charlotte, Lake Norman, and Monroe, please contact Arnold & Smith, PLLC today or find additional resources here.






The family law practice group at Arnold & Smith, PLLC includes four Board-Certified Family Law specialists and one Child Welfare Law specialist, as well as several attorneys with many years of family law experience that are committed to providing a powerful voice to individuals facing the often-tumultuous issues in this area of law. The range of issues our family law clients may be facing include pre- and post-nuptial agreements; separation agreements; post-separation support; child support (both temporary and permanent); absolute divorce; divorce from bed and board; military divorce; equitable distribution of assets; child custody (both temporary and permanent); retirement benefits and divorce; alimony and spousal support; adoption; and emancipation. Because this area of the law is usually emotionally charged and complicated, the family law attorneys at Arnold & Smith, PLLC act with the utmost dedication to ensure that each client understands his or her options, and then act to achieve the best result possible for that client’s particular situation.



Separation and Divorce | North Carolina Judicial Branch (

Family therapy – Mayo Clinic


Image Credit

Download | FreeImages


See Our Related Video from our YouTube channel:

Arnold & Smith, PLLC – YouTube


See Our Related Blog Posts:

What Should I do if I am served with Divorce Papers?


Contact Information