Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Unhappy Groom Demands New Wedding

Published on: January 19, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In an rare case of a “Groomzilla”, the Associated Press reports that a recently divorced man is now demanding that a photography studio pay to recreate his wedding to make up for what he has decided are flawed pictures and videos of what was supposed to be his happiest day. Though many in the press have dubbed Todd Remis a “groomzilla,” he recently spoke out saying that his lawsuit is actually about holding a business to their promise, not clinging to a broken marriage.

While suits over wedding photographs are common occurrences, Remis’ case contained an unusual spin: a demand that the company recreate the ceremony of his now failed marriage. Remis began divorce proceedings in 2008 and the couple officially split in 2010.

Despite the marriage no longer existing, Remis says that he needs the “wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot” and the album and video completed “so we have memories of the wedding.” In order to capture this missing footage Remis acknowledges that “we would need to recreate everything.”

Remis began his lawsuit against H&H Photographers in 2009, saying the well-respected New York City-area studio had done a terrible job of shooting his and Milena Grzibovska’s December 2003 wedding. Remis claimed that the chosen photographer ignored the couple’s request not to shoot in front of a mirror that ended up reflecting photographers’ lights. Moreover, the photographer and videographer left 45 minutes before the end of the reception, missing the last dance and the bouquet toss, evidently crucial events in Remis’ mind.

The couple paid a $3,500 advance toward a $4,100 total price for the photos and videos, part of a wedding Remis has said cost more than $48,000. For their part, H&H co-owner Daniel Fried says he stands by the photographs and videos. “I think the photography is lovely,”

As Some States Slow Divorce, Others Kick It Into Gear

Published on: January 17, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As we mentioned in a post last week (Some States Try to Slow Down Divorce), some states have made a move toward lengthening their divorce process in the name of looking out for the best interest of children. The Wall Street Journal reports that New Jersey is evidently not as concerned with such things. In fact, New Jersey is set to become the East Coast version of Vegas.

Legislation is currently sitting on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s desk which would turn this into a reality. The bill, if signed, would make it easier to get married in the state and would also expedite the process of getting a divorce.

The bill was passed by both houses of the New Jersey Legislature on Monday and would eliminate a mandatory 72-hour waiting period for a marriage or civil union license. The speed comes at a cost, however. The bill would see the cost of a marriage license rise to $60 from $28. Additionally, the bill would allow couples to annul a marriage within 30 days without the need to go to a court. Specific details on how the annulment process would function are still being hammered out. Currently, 29 states have no waiting period for a marriage license, but only two -Connecticut and Rhode Island – are in the Northeast.

The current rules in New Jersey require those who want an uncontested divorce to wait at least six months. The number is reduced to three months if the couple can demonstrate that the marriage is not working and that there has been fault.

The new bill has its fans and its detractors. Some believe it will bring more visitors to the state, increase revenue and be a generally positive change for New Jersey. Others say it cheapens the sanctity of marriage and will lead to increased family problems in the state.

Some States Try to Slow Down Divorce Process

Published on: January 12, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

If you want a divorce in Colorado, you might have to wait a bit longer than before. A new bill is heading to the state legislature for approval that seeks to add even more steps to the already complicated divorce process.

State Senator Kevin Lundberg is the primary backer of the legislation. The Republican says child safety is the reason behind instituting the bill. “When there are kids involved, I believe that it is in the states best interest to ensure that the couple understands and considers what impact this has on their children,” Lundberg said.

Lundberg’s bill would require couples to undergo a six-hour training session on how children are impacted by their parents calling it quits. Though current state law dictates that parents attend a similar session, it’s not nearly as in-depth.

Colorado attorney Catherine Burkey said, “When a case is initiated, then the people are ordered to go and attend a parenting class.” The primary difference with this new bill is that couples will now have to wait after completing the course. “There will be a period of months that they will wait before proceeding with the divorce,” Lundberg said.

Some divorce attorney’s agree that the proposed bill is a smart move. “This method of education is the best way that I know of at this point,” Burkey said. She anticipates that not everyone will be in favor of the bill, however.

Grand Junction Counseling, a group that specializes in helping families, says the more understanding parents have, the better. “Not only do you have the couple that’s going through this divorce, you have children going through a divorce. For the sake of the children I think it’s valuable,” Counselor, Stephen Anthony said.

Protecting Your Finances in a North Carolina Divorce

Published on: January 10, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Divorce is a process that can be mentally, emotionally and financially draining. While there’s not always much to be done about the mental and emotional pain, financial disaster can be mitigated with a little planning. The following are several tips by Angela Colley of BusinessInsider.com on how to prepare your money for a divorce.

1. Separate your bank accounts
Many couples preparing for a divorce will leave their joint checking accounts open, not wanting to appear spiteful. However, an irresponsible spouse might not be so considerate and could easily drain your joint account before you realize what has happened.

Establishing separate bank accounts and dealing with whatever uncomfortable conversation that might cause is better than taking the financial risk of inaction. The best advice would be take half the money from any joint account and place it in your own checking account.

2. Protect your credit
If you and your former spouse have joint credit accounts all the hard work you put into building a solid score can evaporate with a few bad financial decisions by your ex. Establishing separate credit and loan accounts is critical.

First things first, order an official copy of your credit report from all three credit reporting agencies: TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax. Review the reports carefully and flag any accounts you share with your spouse.

Though it may be uncomfortable, have a direct conversation with your spouse and decide who wants to keep what and how the accounts ought to be divided.

Actually dividing these debts isn’t so easy. You cannot just call a lender and ask to have your name removed if the obligation is joint. Instead, the debt must usually be repaid or refinanced in the name of only one spouse. If the spouse responsible for the debt isn’t capable of having it refinanced alone then selling the asset or paying off the bill is usually the best move. Signing over control of an asset while leaving your name on the loan is a recipe for disaster and should be avoided at all costs.

3. Check on your insurance coverage
If you’ve shared insurance coverage with your spouse you may now find yourself out in the cold during a divorce. Plan ahead and negotiate a specific time to change the insurance, giving yourself enough time to secure new coverage. Make sure that you have the necessary health, auto and homeowners (or rental) insurance.

The Benefits of Annulment in North Carolina

Published on: January 5, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

What’s the best way to avoid some of the time (and money) wasting fights that come along with divorce? Get an annulment instead. Unlike divorce, which acknowledges a marriage’s beginning and end, an annulment simply declares that the marriage never existed in the first place. “When a couple gets an annulment, it’s as if the marriage never existed to begin with,” says Kristin D. Hofheimer, a divorce attorney in Virginia Beach, Va.

Annulment can be great for your finances. The reason is that in an annulment, the courts do their best to restore the individuals to their original financial state prior to the marriage. So, what money and property you brought into the marriage is what you will walk away with, including any debt that came along with you. Anything that is joint, either assets or debts, are typically divided equally.

The problem is that qualifying for an annulment isn’t easy, and it’s not meant to be. In North Carolina, annulments are typically only allowed for the following narrow reasons:

1. Marriage between any two persons nearer in relationship than first cousins.
2. Marriage between double first cousins. Double first cousins occur when a set of brothers marries a set of sisters, or a brother and a sister marry another sister and brother, and they produce children. The children of these two marriages are double first cousins.

3. Marriage between a male person under 16 years of age and a female, with the exception of a court order as a result of a pregnancy when between the ages of 14 and 16.

4. Marriage between a female person under 16 years of age and a male, with the exception of a court order as a result of a pregnancy when between the ages of 14 and 16.

5. Marriage where either of the parties is physically impotent at the time of the marriage. Impotence must be permanent, incurable and medically diagnosed by a doctor.

6. Marriage between persons either of whom is, at the time of the marriage, incapable of contracting due to want of will or understanding is not automatically void
Couples who are in the process of getting an annulment and want to take action to protect their finances can typically approach joint debt in one of two ways:

1. Split the amount owed and each pay their share to take care of the debt.

2. One party can pay the entire debt and then sue the other party for half. If you’re trying to protect your credit, you may want to take care of the debt and let your ex reimburse you so you know an unpaid bill won’t end up bringing down your credit score, Hofheimer says.

Divorce Can Kill

Published on: January 3, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent report on HuffingtonPost.com, a new study entitled “Divorce and Death” appearing in “Psychological Science” shows that failed marriages can actually kill at the same rate as cigarette smoking or obesity.

The results of the study were shocking as the stark numbers showed that the risk of dying is a full 23% higher among those that have gone through a divorce than married people. Researchers were surprised as they did not believe life expectancy would be slashed to ages comparable with smokers, heavy drinkers, and the obese.

Study authors David Sbarra and Paul Nietert make sure to point out that the association between divorce and death “cannot be deemed causal.” They never intended to imply that the moment you sign divorce papers your life expectancy is slashed. Instead, the research indicates, “there is something uniquely difficult about remaining separated or divorced that accelerates time of death.”

It’s the cumulative strain of being a long-term single parent or the burden of a persistent conflict with an ex that causes the stress that can be a killer. Experts have long believed that interpersonal relationships and health are entangled in a complicated and confusing way. In a sad way, one spouse’s damaging personality trait – whether hostility or negativity – can be responsible both for killing the marriage and, in the long run, for killing the ex.

Ex-husbands are at significantly higher risk of a premature death than their ex-wives. The reason is that it appears wives help keep their husbands alive. Men generally die younger than women, but wives are de facto caregivers. Studies dating back as far as the 1970s have shown that without a woman around, a man’s health fails and he typically refuses to do much about it. Though technology and the ease of self-diagnosis have improved the situation, these are usually afterthoughts. Companionship with a nurturing woman is a built in prevention for sickness in old age.

More North Carolina Couples Divorce in January

Published on: December 29, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Is there any truth to the belief that a new year brings new relationships? January is often referred to in family law circles as the “Divorce Month.” The Huffington Post reports that the combination of frantic holidays, family issues and financial stress can bring to light cracks in already strained marriages.

The January divorce label has been applied for a reason; according to statistics published by eDivorcePapers.com, January did indeed have the most legal breakups. One Maryland divorce lawyer confirms that “Divorce Month” really does exist, saying that “Some attorneys take the last two weeks of the year off to get ready for the rush. January really does see a lot of divorces.”

The single biggest day for filing a divorce remains in doubt, though some groups have attempted to identify a single “D-Day.” The Legal Services Commission claims that “the first Monday after the kids return to school” sees the most filings.

A founder of DivorcedWomenOnline.com, says that though filings are most popular in January, the search begins in December. Angry husbands and wives begin searching for information on divorce in the days immediately following the holidays. “I see a huge increase in pageviews and searches the day after Christmas. People start looking for information before the New Year starts, but they can’t do much until the attorneys are back in the office. January 12-16 seems to be the magic week for filings.”

There are many reasons for the New Year’s push, but one big reason is the kids. Often time couples have been struggling for months before the holidays. However, they attempt to put aside their issues to give their children a happy holiday season with an intact family. When January rolls around the magic is gone and often, so is the marriage.

Another big reason is year-end reflection. Unhappy spouses look at their lives and decide they need to make a change. Unhappy spouses take a look at their life more carefully following the rush of the holidays and decide they just cannot endure another year like that.

Taxes also impact a person’s decisions of when to file. Marital status is determined as of December 31 according to the IRS and if a couple wants to file returns jointly they must be married as of that day. Unhappy people facing financial stress may put off divorce until the New Year because they can’t afford to take the financial hit of filing separately.

Another spike occurs in July and August. The reason is that some parents file before the school year starts if they are thinking of relocating and enrolling the kids in a different school district. Summer routines are also important as most parents don’t want to put the children through a painful divorce while they’re at home with nothing to do. Once the school year starts parents are more apt to move forward with filing.

Young Couples Avoid Marriage like the Plague

Published on: December 27, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent report on FoxNews.com, with the share of married adults at an all-time low in the United States, new research by demographers and social scientists at Cornell and the University of Central Oklahoma offers clues about what’s holding back young couples from taking the plunge into marriage.

Through a series of interviews with 122 cohabiting men and women between the ages of 18 and 36, researchers found widespread apprehension about divorce – even in those who have never dealt with it personally. More than two-thirds of those interviewed said they worried about their ability to form enduring marriages. The respondents said that they feared facing the potential social, legal, emotional and economic consequences that come with divorce, or so says a new study published in the December issue of the journal Family Relations.

Co-authors of the study, “The Specter of Divorce: Views From Working- and Middle-Class Cohabitors,” were lead author Amanda J. Miller, assistant professor of sociology at the University of Central Oklahoma, and Dela Kusi-Appouh, a Cornell doctoral student in the field of development sociology.

The researchers interviewed 61 couples in the Columbus, Ohio region who were living with their partners for at least three months. Nearly 67% of the interviewees expressed concern about divorce. The most frequently discussed worry was a desire to “do it right” and marry only once. This led many to view living together as a kind of “test-drive” before making the big decision. The idea that marriage was a permanent choice and difficult to exit was mentioned frequently as an impediment. Fears of causing emotional pain, embarrassment, child custody issues along with legal and financial problems were also frequently mentioned by respondents.

Many of those interviewed suggested that the rewards of marriage were not worth the risk of a potential breakup. The high divorce rates were cited as proof of this with many saying the cohabitation was working well and saw no reason to fix what wasn’t broken.

Marriage May Be Down, But Don’t Count It Out Yet

Published on: December 22, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article by the Associated Press, couples are becoming increasingly less likely to tie the knot. One recently single woman described what is the both the benefit and the burden of cohabitation: “You start to see how people handle confrontation, financial realities, challenges, the housework load. If we had been married we would have been divorced, or fully on our way.”

Heading into 2012, barely half of all adults in the United States are married, and the median age at the time of a first marriage has never been higher – a hair over 26-years-old for women and nearly 29 for men.

By way of comparison, in 1960, the number of adults married was dramatically higher, a full 72 percent. By the year 2000, that number had fallen to 57 percent and today is only slightly higher than half at 51 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

Experts believe the percentage of married adults could dip below 50 percent for the first time in a matter of a few years as the number of younger couples and single parents continues to grow. From just 2009 to 2010 the number of new marriages in the U.S. fell steeply, by 5 percent. While this drop may be partially attributed to the economy, the larger trend still holds true, fewer people are walking down the aisle.

Though the decline in marriage rates is widespread, it is especially prevalent among young adults. Nearly three out of every five people between 18 and 29 were married in 1960. Today it’s one in five.

Another dramatic marriage statistic relates to education levels. According to Pew Research, nearly two-thirds of all adults with college degrees, or 64 percent, are married, compared with only 47 percent of those with high school degrees or less. In 1960, college grads and those who had not gone beyond high school were equally likely to be married.

Race also impacts the likelihood of tying the knot. Pew found that 55 percent of whites are married compared to 48 percent of Hispanics and only 31 percent of blacks.

Though marriage may be down, it’s too early to count it out. Stephanie Coontz, who wrote “Marriage: A History” and teaches family studies at Evergreen State University said that she thinks “marriage is perceived as a very desirable good but no longer a necessity.” Backing this thought up another Pew survey found that while nearly 40 percent of respondents said marriage is becoming obsolete, 61 percent of those who were not married would like to be someday.

Baby Boomers in North Carolina Increasingly Decide to Call It Quits

Published on: December 20, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent report by the AARP, while the overall divorce rate in the U.S. has declined, divorce among those between the ages of 50 and 64 has spiked. What was once an oddity has now become commonplace.

“Historically we thought, ‘Older people, they don’t get divorced,'” said Susan L. Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green University in Ohio. “Now one in four people getting divorced is over the age of 50. In 1990, it was less than one in 10.” Such a huge change has intrigued researchers who are seeking to find out what led to the shift.

The divorce rate for those 50 to 64 increased from 6.9 divorces per 1,000 marriages in 1990 to 12.6 in 2009. At the same time, the overall divorce rate dropped from 18.95 to 17.92.

Researchers have said that the increase in divorce rates among older couples is because of the life transition that takes place upon retirement. Retired couples often face difficulties adjusting to life without children in the house and a busy career to keep them occupied. Retirement especially hits marriages hard as spouses who once defined themselves by what they did now are forced to find new meaning in their lives. Meanwhile, spouses used to being alone most of the day must adjust to having somebody else around.

If one or both of the spouses experienced divorce in the past, they are more at risk for a future divorce later in life, Brown said. The numbers speak for themselves; the divorce rate for aging baby boomers is twice as high for those who were previously divorced than those who were on their first marriage.

Unique issues arise for late in life divorcees. For those looking to remarry in their golden years, the pool of potential mates increases for men because the ratio of women to men increases with age. For women, however, it becomes harder to find a husband. Divorces late in life can also be financially devastating, with the woman typically qualifying for half the man’s retirement savings. Remarriage also raises concerns over estates and inheritances among the couple’s children from previous marriages.