Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

As most people have heard, the divorce rate in this country hovers around 50 percent. The exact number is hard to nail down, mainly because of poor data and the complicated nature of tracking and measuring marriage and divorce. However, a new book called “The Thing With Feathers” discusses birds and their amazing tendency to mate for life.

Though monogamy is rare in the animal world, Noah Strycker, author of the book, found that a surprising number of bird species appear to be fans of lifelong commitment, some even more so than humans. Strycker conducted research on more than 100 species of birds and found that of them all, the albatross was the most remarkably committed.

Strycker discovered that after a lengthy courtship period, sometimes lasting as long as 15 years, the albatross pairs up and that these pairings last until one partner dies. Unlike humans, the albatross is a 100 percent faithful animal. And lest you think these matches are merely short-term conveniences, researchers say that the pairings can last for up to five or six decades given the long lifespan of the albatross.

Though the albatross does set a good example of fidelity, the same cannot be said for every animal with wings. Flamingos are notorious playboys, with a 99 percent divorce rate. Piping Plovers breakup 67 percent of the time. On the more successful end, ducks are slightly more committed than humans, with a relationship failure rate of only 40 percent. Mallard couples remain together 91 percent of the time and swans manage to hang in there in 95 percent of cases.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

A recent article in the Wall Street Journal discussed the sometimes-disastrous combination that financial decisions and strong emotions can cause in divorce cases. Experts usually advise individuals to only make important financial decisions with a calm, level head, but during a divorce this can be easier said than done.

Given how easy it is for couples to conflate emotion and money, it is critical to hire and rely on an experienced North Carolina family law attorney who you trust to shepherd your case through the process. By hiring a skilled professional, you can ensure that decisions are being made by a rational outsider advocating on your behalf.

A common example of a financial mistake that emotions can cause include costly and unnecessary fights over relatively insignificant personal items. All too often, angry couples decide to square off when dividing the contents of their life. A wronged party can feel indignant about letting things go to the spouse that he or she blames for the demise of the relationship. In these cases, thousands of dollars and countless hours are wasted arguing over furniture or plates, even toiletries and souvenirs. Think long and hard before engaging in a scuffle over such relatively inexpensive belongings and remember that almost everything can be replaced.

Another good example of emotions overriding good sense occurs when one party, many times a woman, tries to stay in the marital residence at all costs. Often this happens because the woman believes it is in the best interest of the kids to maintain stability, but this can backfire quickly if the party left with the house is not truly able to afford it alone.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

Last year pop star Hilary Duff announced she was filing for divorce from her hockey player husband Mike Comrie. At the time, it seemed clear the two had grown distant from one another and that Comrie’s busy career had made it difficult for Duff to juggle the demands of her career and being a mother to a two-year-old boy.

Though many assumed the divorce would move forward like so many do, it appears that a recent romantic trip may have saved the marriage. According to gossip sites, Duff has now decided to call off the divorce after she and her estranged spouse took a recent Valentine’s Day vacation to the Bahamas.

In the Bahamas, Duff and Comrie were able to reconnect, discuss some of their issues and realized that they still have strong feelings for each other. Sources say that Comrie broke down and begged for a second chance, saying that he would be willing to make changes that he had ignored the first time around.

Specifically, Duff has said she needs Comrie to agree to take a more active role in raising their young son given the work commitments she is dealing with. Rather than live as a single mother, Duff is apparently demanding a commitment that she will have an equal partner in caring for the child.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “When do you get alimony?”

In a surprising case out of New York City, a woman had her divorce settlement reduced by a family court judge after the judge found that the woman’s airing of her husband’s dirty laundry hurt his business.

The decision, issued by Justice Laura Drager, means that Janice Schacter will now walk away with 17 percent of what used to be her husband’s $5 million law firm partnership ($855,000). The judge noted that the wife’s constant sniping online, in the press and to others in their social circle cost her millions of dollars, with the woman initially poised to walk away with half the $5 million partnership.

The problems for Janice and Ira Schacter began years ago, back in 2007, when the two got into a physical altercation and, soon thereafter, filed for divorce. The couple’s split was contentious from the very beginning, with both parties attempting to smear the other’s good name. Police were called numerous times, stories were written, restraining orders filed and the presiding judges says she had to contend with numerous inappropriate outbursts in the courtroom.

During this time, Janice Schacter’s actions to slander her husband went above and beyond a normal person’s attempt to merely bring to light a partner’s bad behavior. Janice judiciously spread stories around the Manhattan legal world about how her husband physically abused her, cheated on her, was engaged to a Playboy “Coed of the Week” and withheld money from his children. The stories garnered so much attention that at one point Ira was mockingly named “Lawyer of the Month” on the legal website AboveTheLaw.

In that article, details of Ira’s engagement to the Playboy bunny were discussed, as was Janice’s accusation that Ira had blown more than $200,000 on an engagement ring for the Playmate while refusing to contribute money towards his hearing-impaired daughter’s $12,000 hearing aids.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

Though it’s a painful lesson to learn, many couples have come to realize that what happens online can impact the real world, in sometimes surprisingly negative ways. Problems with social media are numerous, including the ease with which users meet new people, flirt, exchange inappropriate messages or photographs or send thoughtless or angry emails that can then be misconstrued or blown out of proportion.

Given all these ugly possibilities, it perhaps isn’t a surprise that researchers say that users of certain important social networking sites experience more marital trouble than those who stay away. Only a few weeks ago, one study claims that those who are active Facebook users are more likely to be unfaithful to their romantic partners.

In that study, the researcher concluded that Facebook users who are in a relationship that is less than 36 months old are the most susceptible to online infidelity. Those in longer relationships evidently have enough of a history that the lure of Facebook does not burn quite as bright.

Now, research out of the University of Missouri says that users who are among the most active on Twitter are far more likely to experience conflict with their romantic partners than those who either stay away from the service or use it only sparingly. The study says that much of the conflict is actually Twitter-related, indicating that messages or encounters over the social networking service are to blame for the subsequent hostility.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

Most couples hope that in the event of a divorce they would be able to remain civil with one another, remembering all the good times and avoiding petty jealousies or anger. While that might be a best-case scenario, it is unfortunately not the most common outcome. Divorce can be emotionally grueling, costly and generally demoralizing. However, divorce, like all things, will eventually come to an end. The following are some tips by a collection of family law experts designed to help those going through a divorce keep the big picture in mind.

First things first, those who have seen the divorce process from the outside say that couples need to prepare for a long haul. Though you can and should hope that a divorce goes smoothly and remains on friendly terms, it is important that you prepare yourself for the worst. Brace yourself for a possible stressful and lengthy process and try to keep some energy in reserves for those days when it seems like there’s no end in sight. By hoping for the best and preparing for the worst you can ensure you aren’t caught unaware in cases where the divorce goes less than smoothly.

Another important piece of advice is to carefully choose your advisors and then rely on them during the hard parts of the divorce process. After selecting a North Carolina family law attorney, it is important to seriously consider his or her advice. After all, they understand not only the specifics of your case, but also the legal implications of your decisions. Though the decisions are ultimately your own, remember that you are in a vulnerable and emotional state and that relying on those who have experience with the divorce process is an excellent way to make your own divorce process easier.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can you guarantee I will get the resolution I want?”

An unfortunate study published by the Minnesota Population Center recently revealed some troubling news about the nation’s divorce rate. Rather than leveling off or declining, as many experts have long believed, the group says that the number is actually increasing and that the increases appear to be spread across nearly every age group.

For decades now, sociologists across the country have insisted that divorce rates for all couples have been in a steady decline since peaking in the early 1980s. However, armed with new and more extensive data gathered from the 2008 American Community Survey, it appears that this picture may have been overly optimistic.

The group says that it now appears to be the case that divorce rates are higher than previously thought, especially among older groups where divorce rates are said to have skyrocketed. Researchers say that the Baby Boom generation has continued demonstrating the same pattern of high marital instability even as they age. This trait has led to a threefold increase in the divorce rate of those between 60 and 65 since 1990. For those above 65, the divorce rate is up 500 percent.

Though Boomers have been blamed for much of the increase in divorce rates, younger generations have seen similar instability. Those in their 30s and 40s have also seen rising divorce rates, something experts say may be linked to increased cohabitation prior to marriage. Though living with a partner before marriage is no longer seen as a predictor of divorce, it also has not been shown to strengthen relationship stability.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

A recent article discussed some great advice for those either considering divorce or in the midst of an ongoing split. The advice comes from the perspective of a family law attorney and is meant to ensure divorce litigants avoid some common pitfalls during the process. By trying to be mindful of the following issues you could go a long way to improving the overall divorce experience.

First things first, it is important that you keep your eyes on the prize. What is the prize? Divorce. When people begin the divorce process and meet with their family law attorney they almost always have a clear goal in mind. Divorcing with as little pain as possible, securing a workable custody arrangement and reaching an equitable division of financial assets. Sounds good. The problem is that as the divorce process kicks into gear it becomes easy to lose sight of these goals and instead become consumed with daily bickering. Rather than get bogged down in minutiae, try and keep your focus on your long-term goals and rise above the day-to-day squabbles; let your attorney worry about those things.

It is also important to understand that avoiding unnecessary fights is not the same thing as giving up. Some divorce litigants make the mistake of thinking that those attorneys who insist on fighting for every last cup and saucer are the good ones. They think this kind of behavior shows devotion or toughness. In reality, engaging in unnecessary arguments only pads their legal bill and wastes money you could use later when starting your new life. Though no one advocates being a pushover, a truly experienced attorney will know what things are worthy of a fight and what things aren’t.

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