Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Mecklenburg County is doing its best to optimize the experience for the thousands of citizens who are called upon to serve on jury duty each month. The courthouse now features a business center and a daycare center for jurors' use, as well as a juror assembly room with free Wi-Fi and an area where mothers can pump breast milk. During the wait to be called, movies are shown for jurors in the assembly room, where free popcorn is supplied. All jurors are also given a 90-minute lunch break.

Last week, the 26th Judicial District of North Carolina (Mecklenburg County) held a juror appreciation week, featuring a jazz ensemble, a celebrity speaker, and discounts for jurors at local restaurants near the courthouse. Juror Appreciation Week, which the district has put on every year for the past decade, was organized in order to "applaud the jurors who support the justice system" and make the juror experience more pleasant for all citizens who serve.

Every month, nearly 8,000 residents are selected for jury duty, although so far this year only about 6,000 potential jurors have actually sat on a jury. The National Center for State Courts reports, which sets benchmark statistics, declares that less than 5 percent of jurors in a county should be no-shows. In Mecklenburg County, only 4 percent of potential jurors never show up. Those who fail to appear for jury duty will receive a letter notifying them of their failure to appear. A repeat offender who fails to appear, without a valid reason, can face fines or be held in contempt of court by the judge.

According to a recent New York Times article, more couples facing marital strife are now choosing to stay separated indefinitely rather than file for divorce. Many spouses who choose to live apart and carry on separate lives are still connected by the bonds of marriage: they file joint tax returns, carry joint insurance policies, and even occasionally visit one another. However, even long-estranged couples are bound by contractual issues like taxes, pensions, Social Security, and healthcare coverage.

target="_blank"Charlotte divorce lawyers and marriage therapists report that the motivation for most couples to remain married is financial. Under federal law, an ex-spouse qualifies for a share of a spouse's Social Security payment if the marriage lasts a decade. Occasionally, if a divorce is proceeding amicably, financial advisors and lawyers may urge a couple who have been married for nearly ten years to wait until the dependent spouse qualifies. For some couples, a separation agreement may be negotiated between the parties so that one spouse can keep the other's insurance until he or she qualifies for Medicare. Thus, in the current economic recession, there is an incentive for couples to separate indefinitely: to avoid the real estate lows and the high care expense highs.

One family law attorney quoted by the New York Times reported that the biggest surprise to her was her clients' primary consideration behind indefinite separation. She reports that the clients consider practical and financial, rather than familial, ramifications. The effect of these separations on the couple's children rarely seems to be a priority. Furthermore, indefinite separations can leave a mess for survivors, as a spouse will still have legal rights to a predeceased spouse's estate, even if separated.

This month, Bristol Palin, the daughter of former Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, announced her engagement to her son's father, Levi Johnston. However, Johnston is facing a long road ahead with his future in-laws after making accusations about them over the past year and engaging in some questionable public behavior.

Johnston is not the only future son-in-law who needs to work to smooth over in-law relations, according to studies conducted by the National Marriage Project. Researchers report that married couples with more support from their in-laws tend to encounter less conflict in their marriages. Disagreements between spouses and in-laws usually arise when parents have difficulty letting go of their grown children. Unrealistic expectations from in-laws can also fuel arguments, particularly between wives and mothers-in-law.

For those suffering from in-law induced distress, there are dozens of online venting forums and Facebook groups available for spouses to complain and seek solace among fellow sons and daughters in-law. However, most marriage experts suggest that a spouse who dislikes his or her in-laws should address any problems with them directly.

According to the Charlotte Observer, Rockingham County sheriff's deputies reported on Wednesday that one of their residents is facing felony charges after shooting his wife with a wad of toilet paper stuffed into a gun.

The 38-year-old man was charged with assault with a deadly weapon after he shot his wife when she returned to their home late Tuesday night. According to the sheriff's department, the suspect loaded a black power pistol with toilet paper, then fired the weapon at his 55-year-old wife, who was in bed. His wife suffered a powder burn from the gunshot and was being treated at a local hospital. Bond was set for her husband at $1,000. He is due to appear in court on August 11.

A woman in Kings Mountain, North Carolina is now facing domestic violence charges for allegedly threatening another Kings Mountain resident over Facebook. Breanna Shanae Nance, 19, sent threatening messages via Facebook to a "current or former household member" of hers.

Nance was arrested last Friday on a misdemeanor domestic violence protective order violation, which was filed against her on June 23. According to the complainant's affidavit, when the papers were served upon Nance, she threatened to murder the complainant in various Facebook messages. Nance is currently being held without bond in the Gaston County Jail.

Mental health experts recently reported that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or A.D.H.D., may be unknowingly taking a toll on many adult relationships. Studies suggested that at least 4 percent of adults now have A.D.H.D. and that as many as half of all children diagnosed with A.D.H.D. do not fully outgrow it and continue to struggle with the symptoms in adulthood. In a marriage, the common symptoms of the disorder, such as distraction, disorganization, and forgetfulness, can easily be misinterpreted as laziness, selfishness, and a lack of love and concern.

Adults with A.D.H.D. often learn coping skills to help them stay organized and focused at work, but continue to struggle at home, where they have a tendency to become distracted from household tasks. Some research suggests that adults with A.D.H.D. are twice as likely to be divorced, where another study found high levels of distress in 60 percent of marriages in which one spouse had A.D.H.D.

In these marriages, one spouse can be left with 100 percent of the family responsibility when the other spouse forgets to attend to certain tasks, leaving the responsible spouse frustrated and the spouse with the disorder confused by their partner's anger. Long to-do lists or messy homes feel overwhelming to a brain with A.D.H.D., causing the spouse to retreat to a friendly distraction, such as a computer or video game. If the other spouse does not know that distraction is the issue, he or she may start to think that the spouse simply does not care about the problem at hand.

Although treatment for A.D.H.D. often starts with medication, it does not always solve a couple's problems. Talk therapy is recommended to break down years of accumulated resentments. Behavioral therapy and education on other coping strategies for both partners are also essential.

To follow up on our earlier article (Domestic Violence Protective Orders and DV Warning Signs), more information and helpful advice from law enforcement authorities has surfaced regarding the murder-suicide committed by Austen Minter in Dallas, North Carolina last week.

Police, prosecutors, and judges involved in the prior domestic violence incidents between Minter and his girlfriend, Tracy Hedgepath, say that they could not stop the violence because Hedgepath would not help to prosecute her abuser nor provide the police with enough evidence of the abuse. Domestic violence experts report that it is common for victims of domestic violence to back off from pursuing punishment out of fear. Alternatively, victims may hope that their relationship will improve or that they should keep a husband or a father for their children.

So, can domestic violence cases be prosecuted without victim cooperation?

Experts say, police, prosecutors, and judges should aggressively pursue domestic violence cases in order to ensure a conviction without the aid of testimony from the victim. Police should take photographs of bruises and injuries, as well as detailed statements from victims and witnesses. Prosecutors can use 911 call tapes to prove violent incidents, medical records to prove injuries, and call expert witnesses to explain why victims are afraid to testify. Judges should also examine entire criminal records in order to look for patterns that justify tougher punishments, such as jail time, supervised probation, or therapy.

Prosecutors in Mecklenburg County face similar obstacles when victims refuse to testify against abusers, but report that they strive to prosecute domestic abuse cases, even without victim testimony. However, firsthand testimony is still key. Independent witnesses who are not family and who will not be persuaded out of testifying can also be very helpful to the prosecution.

As reported by Fox Charlotte, recently a tragic, and perhaps preventable, murder-suicide took place in Dallas, North Carolina. Austen Minter, a North Carolina resident with a history of domestic violence, engaged in a domestic argument with his pregnant girlfriend at her home before shooting her and their three children, and then himself. The 6-year-old and 3-year-old children died from their gunshot wounds, while the 7-year-old remains in serious condition at Carolinas Medical Center.

Prior to the attack, the warning signs of domestic violence were all present to law enforcement. Since June of 2008, there have been 24 calls for police assistance to the residence, most of them with reports of domestic violence. In January of 2008, a domestic violence protective order was filed against Minter by his girlfriend. Last month, there were several domestic violence warrants filed against Minter, but police were unable to find him. Neighbors report that they witnessed Minter violently confront his girlfriend several times in the past outside of their home.

If you have witnessed any of the warning signs of domestic violence, domestic violence advocate Bea Cote has some words of advice regarding how to make a report. Cote reports that neighbors who witness scenes between a couple often see the violence as a private affair or domestic squabble, and feel uncomfortable getting involved in the couple's business. A witness to a crime should call 911 every single time he or she witnesses any type of assault. Neighbors should report anything they hear or see that is suspicious. The more reports police get, the more likely they are to investigate the situation and try to put a halt to the occurrences.

In North Carolina, a 50B domestic violence protective order can be entered on behalf of an abused person or a minor child against any person with whom the abused person has had a personal relationship. Those who wish to seek judicial protection can enlist the help of an attorney in filing a domestic civil action or a motion.

As discussed previously in this blog (Divorce Attorneys Becoming Facebook Sleuths), the popular social networking site Facebook has become the catalyst for a great deal of recent divorce litigation. According to a recent survey by Divorce-Online.com, more than 5,000 attorneys report that Facebook is mentioned in about 20 percent of their divorce cases. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers attributes these statistics to a great number of clients who are sharing more and more aspects of their private lives on Facebook.

The new website www.FacebookCheating.com was created by a Massachusetts man in 2009 after he discovered his wife's affair on Facebook. He created the site in an effort to help others cope with a spouse cheating on them, as well as to provide information on how to recognize whether a spouse is cheating. Facebook, which has over 400 million reported registered users, is reportedly the social networking site of choice by far for many clients, with MySpace and Twitter coming in second and third, respectively. Divorce attorneys report that the most widely-used types of evidence produced in domestic cases from Facebook are direct messages and incriminating photos posted by friends.

According to a recent study conducted by a trio of researchers from Brown, Harvard, and the University of California - San Diego, divorce can be contagious and can spread between friends, siblings, and coworkers. The research relies on data from the Framingham Heart Study in Massachusetts, which studied the lives of more than 12,000 Americans living in Framingham since 1948.

The study indicates that if a close friend's marriage is on the rocks, your chance of divorce increases by 75 percent. If the friend follows through with the divorce, your chance of divorce increases by another 33.3 percent. Whether or not a friend's divorce has an adverse effect on your marriage depends largely on your perception of how the divorced couple handled it. The study also found that the more friends a husband and wife have together, the lower their chances of divorce. The odds are also lowered for couples who have had children, as couples with more children have a lower susceptibility of being influenced by divorced peers.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau's 2008 data, nearly 50 percent of marriages end in divorce within the first 15 years.

In this issue of our Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog Family Law Newsletter, we take a look at how difficult it can be to divide property in equitable distribution. We also take a look at the legal impact of signing a legally binding document without reading and understanding it. Finally, we take a look at relocation issues in child custody cases.

Click here to view and print our Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog Family Law Newsletter - Summer 2010:

CHARLOTTE DIVORCE LAWYER BLOG FAMILY LAW NEWSLETTER SUMMER 2010

As reported by the Charlotte Observer, reports coming out this week indicate that Elin Nordegren, the soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Tiger Woods, will receive over $750 million from her husband in their divorce settlement. Although Elin estimated that her legendary golfer husband was worth approximately $1 billion, her attorneys uncovered several additional assets owned by Woods which served to increase his net worth. Elin will also receive sole physical custody of the children and will share legal custody with Tiger.

In exchange for her large payout, Elin is banned from publicly speaking or writing about Tiger's reported affairs and any aspects of their divorce. Thus, unlike many wronged celebrity spouses, Elin must maintain a dignified silence for the rest of her life, regardless of whether Tiger predeceases her. For his part, Tiger is also banned from allowing any future or current mistress or girlfriend near his two children - unless he is marrying one. Under this deal, only married women not romantically linked to Tiger and female members of the staff known to Elin are allowed near the children.

Elin's receipt of over $750 million is by far the biggest celebrity divorce payout in U.S. history. The previous record was a $168 million payout to Juanita Jordan - otherwise known as the former Mrs. Michael Jordan. Other celebrity divorce settlements rounding out the top twelve include: Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey ($150 million), Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving ($100 million), Harrison Ford and Melissa Mathison ($85 million), Kevin Costner and Cindy Silva ($80 million), Madonna and Guy Ritchie ($76 to $92 million), Paul McCartney and Heather Mills ($60 million), James Cameron and Linda Hamilton ($50 million), Michael Douglas and Diandra Douglas ($45 million and two homes), Lionel Richie and Diane Richie ($20 million), and Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall ($15 to $25 million).

Elian Gonzalez, the Cuban child who became the star of an international custody battle a decade ago, released his first comments on the incident on the recent 10th anniversary of his return to his father in Cuba. He reported that he is happy to be in Cuba, and extended his gratitude to "a large part of the American public" for reuniting him with his father.

Gonzalez was only five years old when a fisherman found him floating off the coast of Florida in an inner tube on Thanksgiving Day of 1999. His mother and others fleeing Cuba drowned trying to reach American soil, while his father remained on the island. Gonzalez's relatives in Miami refused to give him up after he was found, and Fidel Castro led marches in Cuba calling for his return home. U.S. immigration officials ruled that Gonzalez should be returned to Cuba, which created an outrage among Cuban-Americans. Armed federal agents raided the home of Gonzalez's uncle in April of 2000 and seized Gonzalez from a closet to return him to Cuba.

Several American parents have waged notorious international custody battles in the years following Gonzalez's ordeal. David Goldman of New Jersey very recently ended a highly publicized five-year child custody battle for his son, who was taken to his mother's native Brazil for vacation and was never returned. Instead, Goldman's wife divorced him and remarried a Brazilian man. When she died in 2009, her Brazilian husb\and moved to adopt the child. After five years of fighting, Goldman was permitted to return his son to American soil on Christmas Eve of 2009.

International custody battles are fairly common, and were supposed to be simplified by the signing of The Hague Convention agreement in 1980, which preserves whatever status quo child custody arrangement existed immediately prior to an alleged wrongful removal of a child under the age of 16. However, conflicting court systems and accounts of parent-child relationships can sometimes trump international law.

Researchers from Montclair State University in New Jersey recently reported that, in marriages with a great deal of conflict, the notion of "staying together for the kids" might do more harm than good. The study, which was presented last year at the annual meetings of the Population Association of America, is being prepared for publication in a scientific journal.

To form their conclusions, the researchers analyzed the results of a national survey of nearly 7,000 married couples and their children living in the United States. The parents were initially surveyed in 1987 and asked questions to gauge their level of marital conflict at home, including how often they disagreed over money, household tasks, the in-laws, and multiple other hot-button issues. Then, between 1992 and 1993, both parents and children were surveyed, with researchers assessing how the parental conflict changed over the years, including whether the couple divorced. The children were surveyed a final time, as adults in 2001 and 2002, and were asked about their level of happiness and conflict in their own current relationships.

The results of the study indicate that children of parents who fight a lot yet stay married experience more conflict in their own marital relationships than children of parents who fight and get divorced. Researchers indicate that the results show that children do suffer short-term issues during crisis periods when their parents divorce, but they usually recover in the long run. Constant exposure to parental strife is most likely what causes children's future relationships to suffer and sometimes end. In contract, parental happiness did not appear to affect the children's adult relationships; children of happily married parents did not necessarily grow up to have happy marriages themselves.

In an interview with Matt Lauer of NBC's Today Show this week, Elizabeth Edwards spoke out about her finalized divorce from former U.S. senator and presidential candidate John Edwards. The Edwardses, of Chapel Hill, North Carolina began divorce proceedings shortly after John Edwards admitted to fathering a child with Rielle Hunter, a campaign aide with whom he had a long-term relationship. Hunter now lives in Charlotte with their two-year-old daughter.

Calling her decision to leave her husband "terrifying," Elizabeth notes that she attempted to salvage the marriage after learning of the affair, but eventually stopped trying when she realized that the affair was more involved than she originally thought. However, she reported that she and John remain in close contact for the sake of their three children. Elizabeth's first book, "Resilience," documenting her struggle with her husband's infidelity, was released in paperback form this week.