Men write on Reddit of the moment they knew their marriage was over

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”


Last Tuesday, men who had divorced their wives provided, via the online sharing site Reddit, a post-mortem on their marriages, divulging for the virtual world the moment they knew their martial bonds were strained to the point of no return. Their stories may be enlightening to couples—women in particular—who fear they are headed for divorce.

Reddit Charlotte Divorce Lawyer North Carolina Family Law AttorneyThe Huffington Post found some common themes in the men’s tales. Trust was a common issue, or rather distrust. One man wrote that in order to rebut his wife’s constant accusations that he was cheating on her, he photographed street signs on his 25-minute journey home from work, to establish a timestamp of the entire route. Finally, he said, he just left his wife.

Another man wrote that he knew it was over when he became indifferent to his wife’s “long and frequent infidelities.” When the anger stopped, the man realized he could focus on planning an end to his “toxic marriage.”

Men have long been accused of being bad at sharing their feelings. When one man revealed to his wife that he felt hopeless and depressed and described his condition “as an existential crisis,” however, his wife laughed in his face. The wife may have thought the man was joking, but the man was serious. “I realized I didn’t really matter to her,” he said.

Another man, writing along the same lines, told his wife he wanted to get out of the military and become a doctor. His wife, who was a scientist, “acted like it was the most ridiculous thing” she had ever heard. He realized that she did not believe in his dreams. The man divorced her and enrolled in medical school.

Differences over child rearing are a common source of conflict in martial relationships. One man realized he’d made a mistake by marrying his wife when she insisted that their future children would not be vaccinated and that she planned to homeschool them. To the man, these points were non-negotiable. Another man said his wife’s inability to get along with his daughter from a previous marriage led him to divorce. “My second wife and I got along great,” he said, but over time, the relationship between his daughter and the second wife deteriorated to the point that, he said, “My daughter and I left.”

Many couples butt heads over personal space, outside friends and activities outside of the marital relationship, and not surprisingly, one man wrote that he realized his marriage was over when his wife made it clear to him, in not so many words, that having hobbies of his own was off limits.

Another man wrote that ending his marriage came down to performing a simple math equation. “Came home from a seven-month deployment overseas to find a five-month pregnant wife,” the man wrote. “I’m no mathematician, but I figured that one out.”

If you find yourself facing a complicated family law matter, then you need the help of experienced family law attorneys in Charlotte, North Carolina who can help guide you through the often confusing process of divorce. Please contact Arnold & Smith, PLLC today at (704) 370-2828 or find additional resources here.



About the Author

ARNOLD&SMITH_243 3.jpgMatthew Arnold is a Managing Member of Arnold & Smith, PLLC, where he focuses on the areas of family law, divorce, child custody, child support, alimony and equitable distribution.

Mr. Arnold was raised in Charlotte, where he graduated from Providence Senior High School. He attended Belmont Abbey College, where he graduated cum laude, before attending law school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill on a full academic scholarship.

In his free time, Mr. Arnold enjoys golfing and spending time with his wife and three children.






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