Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Child Custody Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: How to Handle Christmas During a Divorce

Published on: December 13, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Everyone knows how special Christmas is and all the memories and family and tradition associated with the holiday are exactly what make it so hard for those going through a divorce. Though it may seem difficult to believe, Christmas as a divorced parent can be just as special as it was before, assuming you follow some good advice as discussed on About.com.

Though most parents will find the season very emotional, especially early on, it’s important to remember that your children come first and you should try to not let your own feelings impact how your children experience the holidays. For instance, though missing out on spending time with your children over the holidays may be hard, it’s important that the kids not feel guilty for spending time with their other parent. While you can understandably be upset, keep the feelings to yourself.

It is also important after a divorce to begin new traditions. While some things can stay the same, others simply cannot. Rather than worry about all the things that will be different, embrace the changes that divorce has brought and take the opportunity to start doing something new and fun. Any past seasonal behaviors that were once wonderful but now dredge up negative emotions can be done away with and replaced by new and exciting activities.

It’s also critical to reach out to friends and family for support during the Christmas season. It’s true what they say, the more the merrier. The more people around to lighten your mood the better off you’ll be. Other people can be a great distraction and help keep you out of a bad emotional place.

Another good idea to take your mind off your own problems is to do something nice for others. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or deliver meals to senior citizens. Do something for someone else less fortunate and it will help remind you of all the good things you still having going for you. It also can help teach your children a valuable lesson about giving back to others, which is what the season is really about.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: North Carolina Court of Appeals Wrestles With Common-Law Marriage

Published on: December 11, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A North Carolina Appeals Court says that couples that want to be treated as spouses in a North Carolina divorce proceeding must establish their common-law marriages in other states first before moving to North Carolina.

Though marriage is a wonderful spiritual union between two people, the reality is under North Carolina law it’s a legal contract. When a valid marriage takes place, spouses automatically assume certain legal rights, such as the right to the other’s estate. Though these rights apply automatically to married couples, dealings with other couples aren’t so simple.

The North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled early last week that couples must establish common-law marriages in other states before they can be considered as spouses in divorce proceedings. Common-law marriages are not recognized in North Carolina. However, the appeals court said that the state’s courts “will recognize as valid a common-law marriage ‘if the acts alleged to have created it took place in a state where such a marriage is valid.'”
The case in question concerns a woman, Hulya Garrett, who is seeking alimony, division of property and a divorce from her boyfriend of many years, Charles Burris. The two lived together in Texas for eight years, a state that does permit common-law marriage. To qualify as a common-law marriage in Texas, a couple must prove three things: 1) that they agree to be married; 2) that they live together as husband and wife; and 3) that they represent themselves to others as spouses.

Divorce Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: What to do if you and your ex are in business together?

Published on: December 6, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Though it can be hard for business partners to keep personal issues out of the workplace, the trouble pales in comparison to the issues faced by partners that used to be married to one another. A recent article in the New York Times discussed what happens when a couple who runs a business gets divorced but wants to continue working together.

Given a 2007 Census Bureau estimate that showed husbands and wives own about 3.7 million businesses and the high rate of divorce, this situation is likely more common than many people realize. The following bits of advice are meant to help make the best of what almost anyone would describe as a difficult situation.

First, nothing is more important than respect. In many marriages there is simply too much anger to ever be able to work well together in the future. In others, the parties simply fell out of love but continue to trust and respect one another. Only you know if there are open lines of communication with your spouse and whether you can count on your ex to be consistent and predictable in your business relationship.

Second, seeking professional help can be very valuable. Unlike most other couples that divorce, business owners must still see each other on a regular or even daily basis. That can make it hard to heal and move ahead into new relationships. Seeking professional help can be important to deal with this state of limbo. Allowing personal feelings to interfere in a work conversation can be disastrous and learning tools to avoid that are crucial.

Next, you have to sit down and craft a real partnership agreement. This is something that anyone who partners with a stranger would do right away, but a step almost always skipped when a business is formed with a spouse. Assuming you never created such an agreement, once the divorce is final it’s critical that you work together to craft a plan for what to do and how to split assets if one partner wants out of the business. Having an agreement will add security to what is likely already a tense situation.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: What to do if you’re thinking about remarrying in North Carolina

Published on: December 4, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Many North Carolinians come out of a divorce and vow to never be married again. The process was emotionally and financially draining and often leaves people broken-hearted or generally exhausted. Though this feeling can last a while, many eventually grow out of their concerns and may decide to make another go of it. If that’s the case for you, you need to be ready for some of the concerns that arise during a second marriage and understand the legal consequences of getting hitched a second time.

The first thing you need to realize is that as soon as you remarry, any alimony payments you currently receive will end. If you have any children from a previous marriage and they live with you, your child support may also be affected. This is because if your former spouse seeks a child support modification it’s possible that the court could include your new husband’s income when making the calculations.

If you’re getting older it’s important to note that you might also be giving up other forms of your ex’s money, such as Social Security benefits. Individuals who were married long enough to receive a share of their spouse’s benefits become ineligible for them if they remarry before age 60. This doesn’t mean you’re left out in the dark, as you may instead be able to collect benefits from your new spouse.

There are other legal restrictions to be aware of before remarriage, especially involving children. Many divorce settlement agreements contain clauses preventing parents from relocating, which may limit your ability to start a new life with a future spouse in a different location. If your agreement contains such geographic restrictions you may have to seek a modification and convince a judge that a move is in your children’s best interest.

Child Custody Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: Disability and Its Impact on Child Custody Hearings

Published on: November 29, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

For many parents in North Carolina, obtaining child custody can feel like an uphill battle. One good example is men who feel like they have to fight harder to get equal time with their former wives. As much as we all would like to believe that discrimination does not exist in family law, anecdotal evidence suggests that it is sadly alive and well.

One group that appears to suffer from widespread discrimination in child custody cases is disabled parents. Although the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 helped eliminate most legal discrimination against the disabled, a new report by the National Council on Disability says that the struggles that disabled parents have been dealing with continues to this day. The report claims that disabled parents routinely suffer bias in the U.S. legal system through denial of child custody, many times against the best interests of their children. The bias extends even further than divorcing couples and can result in children being removed from households where both parents are disabled to instead live in foster care.

Some experts believe that while it may be sad, it can be in the best interest of the children to remove them from the care of their disabled parents. They claim children need stability that disabled parents cannot provide. However, stripping such parents of their rights runs in direct violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

According to the report, more than 6 million children in the U.S. have disabled parents, and the rate at which these children are removed from the home has reached as high as 80%. Rather than sending children to live with strangers in foster homes, the report says that there should be more backup support for parents to avoid possible problems that arise from their disabilities.

Child Support Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: Unpaid Child Support Bills Add Up Into the Billions

Published on: November 27, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to the federal Office of Child Support Enforcement, $108 billion in back payments for child support was owed to custodial parents in 2009. The problem is huge nationally and incredibly important in terms of each individual family. If child support payments are not paid, it can result in seriously dire financial straits for the custodial parent, the vast majority of whom (82%) are mothers.

Another downside is that the unpaid bills end up getting picked up by the taxpayers. CNNMoney reports that taxpayers pay nearly half of that total because the children are forced to go on public assistance. Unfortunately, 41% of households headed by single women are below the poverty line, and without the child support payments the family can fall into terribly dire straits.

The Office of Child Support Enforcement’s statistics also reveal that the problem is not as widespread as many people may think. Instead, numbers show that 11% of the debtors owe 54% of the money. The problem is that so few people are causing society, and their families, a lot of pain. The money is crucial in poor families especially where those funds can be used to provide necessary things for children including eye and dental care, clothing and even food.

Child Custody Lawyers Monroe; Union County; North Carolina :: What Does a Guardian Ad Litem Do in a North Carolina Divorce?

Published on: November 22, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Guardians ad litem are people that have been appointed by the court to represent “the best interests of the child” in court proceedings. In family court, guardians are appointed in contested custody and visitation cases, and cases where abuse or neglect has been alleged. Though guardians can be directly appointed by judges, in many contested custody and visitation cases the guardian is selected by the parties’ attorneys.

In these contentious custody cases the guardian is paid for by the parties. Though the guardian ad litem is typically an attorney, this is not always the case as anyone who meets the requirements can be a guardian in such cases.

The guardian’s role is a bit of a mixture of investigator and advocate. Some guardians will tend towards one side and not the other; it depends on the circumstances of the case and the temperament of the individual guardian. Some are zealous advocates for the children while others act as reporters, documenting behavior and recording interactions between parents and child.

The guardian who acts as an investigator will try to develop a strong factual understanding of the life of the parents and child. Guardians are empowered to interview the parents and the children, observing them on multiple occasions and even conducting surprise home visits. The guardian can then present the court with information that a judge would want to know when making a decision concerning custody and visitation. The guardian who behaves more like an advocate can have more of a viewpoint, deciding which situation is a better fit for the child and attempting to influence the court to support this view.

Even the most balanced guardians can invariably influence judges in their final reports. A guardian whose final report that says the children are doing fabulously well with the mother or that the father is an alcoholic carries a lot of weight with judges and can ultimately be determinative. Such reports let the court know what’s going on so that they can make a recommendation as to custody.

Equitable Distribution and Property Division Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: Divorces Frequently Deal With Debt More than Assets

Published on: November 20, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Legal experts say there have been changes in the way couples end marriages in North Carolina and all over the country thanks to the prolonged economic downturn. Divorces before the recent recession tended to revolve around a division of marital assets. Following the economic downturn, couples began to spend more time dealing with splitting liabilities than their shared assets.

Debt has played an increasingly prominent role not only in the divorce process, but sadly, into the calculation concerning whether divorce is even financially feasible. Many couples facing hard times and mountains of debt have had to give a lot of thought to whether they can survive without the benefit of a second income. Underwater mortgages and employment trouble has meant that some couples must enter bankruptcy before they can begin to consider a divorce.

Jointly held debt does not simply evaporate after divorce, even if bills are reassigned in court to one party. Spouses remain on the hook for any joint obligations including shared credit cards, mortgages and tax debts. Though North Carolina’s equitable distribution laws strive to divide marital debts and assets fairly during divorce, these divisions are not necessarily equal.

Though there has been some good news in the form of American families working to reduce their levels of household debt, the recession caused quite a bit of financial pain. The Federal Reserve reported that the small drop in debt burdens for the average American family corresponded with a 38% decline in net worth. The Survey of Consumer Finances reported the average net worth among families in the U.S. fell from just over $126,000 in 2007 to below $78,000 by 2010.

Prenuptial Agreement Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: Bizarre Prenuptial Agreement Terms

Published on: November 1, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

When it comes to drafting a prenuptial agreement, outlining each partner’s expectations can be a healthy move to protecting your future and ensuring that your particular concerns are addressed. Heading into a marriage fully informed about each party’s assets and what will happen in the event that the marriage ends in divorce allows both parties to move forward with a complete understanding of what is expected of them. Though prenups are generally great things that serve a useful purpose, one recent article in the New York Post revealed some of the entertaining and downright bizarre demands that some people insert in their prenups.

One good example is an agreement that stipulated that there be no piano playing while the husband was in the home. Another said that the wife was not allowed to cut her hair. One New York City divorce attorney said that she’d worked on cases where the parties inserted language about living in a smoke-free household. Another of her clients insisted that a paragraph be added that said the parties agreed to go to the Rice Diet Program facility every year and another that banned TV from the house.

One agreement laid out a penalty system for personal infractions. For instance, if the husband behaved rudely toward his in-laws, a payment of $10,000 was required. In yet another case, one husband whose first wife was morbidly obese insisted that his second wife agree to terms that said if her weight ever exceeded 170 pounds, she would forfeit her $10,000 allowance. Given that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander, the wife had language added that said if the husband’s weight exceeded 240 pounds he would pay the wife an additional $10,000.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Custody Fight Revolves Around Whether Woman is Mom or Merely Surrogate

Published on: October 30, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As many people realize, whether you’re part of a traditional marriage, in a same-sex relationship or a single person who has always wanted a kid, there are now many more options than there used to be for raising children. One option that has been utilized by those who have had trouble conceiving is in vitro fertilization. However, a recent child custody and surrogacy case that’s grabbed national headlines might have some couples questioning the process and raise concerns for those that have used it in the past.

The case involves a 48-year-old single woman who wanted a child. She found a male friend who was also interested in having a kid and they concocted a plan that would allow them to have a child together, platonically. The male friend agreed to pay for in vitro using his sperm and a donor egg that the woman would then carry to term. Everything went smoothly and the woman gave birth to healthy twins over the summer. Almost the moment after she had given birth the problems started. Apparently the man had different intentions than those discussed with his friend. A social worker appeared in the hospital room to discuss the “surrogacy situation,” a phrase that shocked the woman who believed she was the children’s mother.

The woman says that her friend, whom she only then realized was gay, had evidently been planning to raise the children with his male partner, not the woman who had carried them. While the woman was still hospitalized recovering from the birth, her friend had filed a lawsuit claiming that because the woman had no genetic ties to the children she should be stripped of any custody or visitation rights.

Right now the woman is allowed to see her children only two hours a day, six days a week. However, the battle is not over. The woman feels like her children that she worked so hard to have were stolen from her and her custody fight continues.