Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Custody Fight Revolves Around Whether Woman is Mom or Merely Surrogate

Published on: October 30, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As many people realize, whether you’re part of a traditional marriage, in a same-sex relationship or a single person who has always wanted a kid, there are now many more options than there used to be for raising children. One option that has been utilized by those who have had trouble conceiving is in vitro fertilization. However, a recent child custody and surrogacy case that’s grabbed national headlines might have some couples questioning the process and raise concerns for those that have used it in the past.

The case involves a 48-year-old single woman who wanted a child. She found a male friend who was also interested in having a kid and they concocted a plan that would allow them to have a child together, platonically. The male friend agreed to pay for in vitro using his sperm and a donor egg that the woman would then carry to term. Everything went smoothly and the woman gave birth to healthy twins over the summer. Almost the moment after she had given birth the problems started. Apparently the man had different intentions than those discussed with his friend. A social worker appeared in the hospital room to discuss the “surrogacy situation,” a phrase that shocked the woman who believed she was the children’s mother.

The woman says that her friend, whom she only then realized was gay, had evidently been planning to raise the children with his male partner, not the woman who had carried them. While the woman was still hospitalized recovering from the birth, her friend had filed a lawsuit claiming that because the woman had no genetic ties to the children she should be stripped of any custody or visitation rights.

Right now the woman is allowed to see her children only two hours a day, six days a week. However, the battle is not over. The woman feels like her children that she worked so hard to have were stolen from her and her custody fight continues.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: Can your spouse prevent you from divorcing in North Carolina?

Published on: October 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Thankfully, many divorcing couples are on the same page about wanting to get a divorce. The fights or problems communicating have been obvious to both parties for a while and the decision to divorce was a long time coming. However, there are times when the parties aren’t in such perfect agreement.

Sometimes one spouse wants the divorce and the other spouse does not, other times one spouse is caught by surprise, unaware that there were ever any issues. In these situations, the spouse who does not want the divorce may stall or refuse to do anything to keep the divorce moving toward a resolution. This can be extremely frustrating for the person seeking the divorce because it means more time and money spent on the process.

In all North Carolina divorces, the first step after filing the Complaint for Absolute Divorce is that the respondent must be formally served with a copy of the Complaint. In many amicable divorces, the person who files the Complaint (petitioner) can simply give their spouse (the respondent) a copy as an alternative to being personally served with the divorce papers by a sheriff or private process server.

If the respondent refuses to cooperate, however, he or she will have to be personally served. If the respondent goes out of their way to evade service, the petitioner will likely have to use a private process server, who will request additional information about the respondent’s schedule and whereabouts before tracking them down. This option is more expensive than having the sheriff do the service, but has a better chance of success.

If your spouse desperately does not want the divorce they may refuse to attend mediation sessions or a settlement conference. If that’s the case, the petitioner will have to request a final hearing to obtain a Final Decree of Divorce. As long as the respondent is properly notified of the hearing date, the court can grant the divorce, even if the respondent chooses not to attend.

Divorce Lawyers Concord, Cabarrus County, North Carolina :: How to Negotiate During a North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 23, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Without a doubt, one of the most difficult things to do during a divorce is to negotiate the terms and conditions that will govern your life: custody, marital property settlement, alimony, child support, visitation, etc.

Negotiations are something many couples likely have no experience with and it’s important to know that there is no right way to handle the process. Each negotiation depends on the peculiar quirks of the couple involved. They can take place face to face or through lawyers or mediators. They can be difficult and emotion or calm and rational.

One bit of advice that many experienced Concord North Carolina family law attorneys know is that negotiations move along much more smoothly when both spouses are at the same place emotionally. That means, when both the husband and wife each accept that the marriage is over and that moving on is the best option for everyone.

In cases where one party has been blindsided by the divorce, lots of anger can result. The surprised party can try to stall, unnecessarily dragging their feet in an attempt to get the other spouse to reconsider. Negotiating with such a spouse is usually pointless as unreasonable demands are often made and a fair settlement gets nowhere. It’s for this reason that many couples find it a good idea to wait for some period of time so that everyone has a chance to cool down and come to grips with reality before beginning a serious negotiation.

Divorce Lawyers Monroe, Union County, North Carolina :: The Importance of Discovery in a North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 18, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Many couples facing a divorce wonder why the time and expense associated with discovery is necessary. They figure that they know what the other spouse’s assets are; after all, you watched them buy the stuff in the first place. They think they understand the value of all the retirement and bank accounts because they’ve had conversations about them. Many people believe their spouse would not or could not hide any important information so why go through the trouble at all? The problem is, what you don’t know can hurt you in this instance, which is why the discovery process is so important.

Discovery is the legal process meant to extract information from the opposing party in a lawsuit. Gathering facts early on in litigation may actually help minimize costs in the long run by narrowing the issues that need to be addressed at trial or in settlement negotiations. Discovery involves numerous approaches, including: Interrogatories, Requests for Production of Documents, depositions (both written and oral), physical and mental examinations, Requests for Admission, and others. The most important and most commonly used discovery methods are Interrogatories, Requests for Production of Documents, and Requests for Admissions.

Interrogatories are questions posed to the opposing party. In North Carolina, a party may send up to 50 Interrogatories to the opposing party. The opposing party is required to answer the Interrogatories under oath which is meant to increase the likelihood that the information provided will be truthful. If the party who receives the interrogatories refuses to answer, the court is able to impose sanctions.

Requests for Production of Documents (RPDs) are exactly what they sound like. An attorney makes formal requests for documents in the other party’s possession. If the party refuses to release requested documents that can also lead to sanctions by the court. Unlike interrogatories, there is no limit to the number of requests that can be made.

Admissions are statements presented to the other party. The opposing party is asked to admit or deny the truth of certain matters. Admissions are very powerful and help attorneys narrow down the number of issues that are really in contention between the parties. Another important bit of information about Admissions are that if the other party does not answer a request in a timely manner, the request can be deemed admitted.

Divorce Lawyers Statesville, North Carolina :: The Trouble With Dual Citizenship in North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 16, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

What could be worse than divorce? Perhaps the prospect of dueling divorces spread across the globe. Red tape, bureaucracy, money, cultural differences, travel are just some of the many problems faced by Americans facing a divorce in a second country.

While this may seem like a problem that affects only a small group, the fact is many may one day encounter such a predicament. If you’re a dual citizen, you or your spouse has been living abroad, you married a citizen of another country or your spouse fled the country with the kids, you too might have to go through the legal system of another country to obtain a divorce.

Given the increasing interconnectedness of the world, this is a problem that is affecting more and more people. Parental kidnappings make the headlines regularly and more and more parents are willing to fight to get the kids back in the U.S.

If you are facing a possible foreign divorce the first question to content with is where will it be easiest for you to get a divorce? Just because you or your spouse is American, that does not meant that you can file in the U.S., especially if you live abroad. The issue is not where you were born, but where you are currently living that determines which court has jurisdiction.

Though exceptions abound, a good rule of thumb is that divorce is easier to manage in the U.S. and Europe as laws tend to value fairness and equality between the parties. Laws in the Middle East and parts of Africa can be especially hard on women, making it almost impossible for mother’s to gain custody of the kids. Even this conversation about where you will divorce relies on the assumption that you and your spouse agree about where to file. If you don’t, the process becomes a race as whoever files first determines where the divorce will take place.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: New HBO Documentary Allows Kids to Give Advice About Divorce

Published on: October 11, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

It’s pretty easy for one adult to share advice with another on how to handle your divorce. But for many parents, the divorce process is so full of concerns unique to their family that tips from well-meaning friends, family members and colleagues can easily go in one ear and out the other. A new documentary film aims to grab the attention of these parents by reminding them that kids have some good ideas, too.

One of the most stressful aspects of divorce is child custody. Deciding where your kids will live and when they’ll see their other parent greatly impacts them, but they are often not consulted in any of the decision-making. Parents can inadvertently make the divorce even more overwhelming by throwing a lot of changes their child’s way and expecting them to simply go along with everything, new living arrangements, rules, routines and all, without giving them any input in their future. According to the kids in the new documentary, that’s not fair. The HBO movie, “Don’t Divorce Me! Kids’ Rules for Parents on Divorce,” debuted last month and will be repeated several more times.

One girl in the movie says that parents should instead give their kids some time to process changes and then listen to what they say in response, no matter if those opinions conflict with your own plans. By working together you may be able to develop some new routines that work for everyone. One of the film’s participants described a system for making sure she has everything she needs for stays at her dad’s house.

Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: What NOT to do During Your Divorce

Published on: October 9, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As discussed in a recent article on PsychologyToday.com, there are several things you should NOT do during your divorce. As many people know, divorcing can be a stressful and exhausting experience. However, there are actions that can and should be taken to make the process easier and there are also things that can be avoided to ensure you don’t make a bad situation even worse.

The following are some of the things (though there are many, many more) that you should avoid doing in the interest of having a more peaceful divorce.

1) Don’t Lie To The Judge: Though this seems to go without saying, always tell the truth. Whether you’re testifying in court or in a deposition, credibility is key. If people start to doubt you then things go end up very badly. Make sure to confide in your attorney if there is a certain subject you want to avoid discussing, but outright lying is never a good plan.

2) Don’t Lie to Your Attorney: Your lawyer can’t help you if they don’t know all the facts. You should be honest with your attorney so they can accurately analyze your case for strengths and weaknesses. All the facts are important and your attorney needs to know everything to help you get the best possible outcome.

3) Don’t Take Legal Advice From Friends and/or Family: It’s important to remember that just because someone gives you advice, it doesn’t mean they are correct. The law varies wildly based on specific circumstances of your case so a friend or family that went through a divorce may have had an entirely different experience than you. Listen to your attorney and ask questions as they arise. It’s wise to avoid talking about specifics of your case with friends and family.

4) Don’t Hide Property: Hiding property to avoid equitable division in a divorce is quite simply a terrible idea. If you do so and it’s discovered then you will lose all credibility in front of the judge and the other side, likely making your situation much, much worse.

Equitable Distribution Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: What Happens to Small Business Debt in Divorce?

Published on: October 4, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

If a spouse mixes business with personal life, for instance, by using a personal credit card for business matters, the result will likely be no different than what would happen if it were a personal credit card in a divorce. Despite the fact that the card is tied to business and relate to only one spouse, both spouses may still end up responsible for the payments.

If the debts occurred in order to help a business which created an income for the spouse, they will likely be considered a “marital obligation.” If a judge finds the debt and its amount to be reasonable and if there are no other business assets to offset the amount of the debt, it could very well end up being shared as part of the equitable division process that takes place in every North Carolina divorce.

Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: Study Shows Correlation Between Shared Chores and Higher Divorce Rates

Published on: October 2, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent study out of Norway revealed that divorce rates are higher among couples who equally share the housework than in those where the woman does the bulk of the chores. The bizarre findings indicate that the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50% higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.

The author of the study, Thomas Hansen, said that the results show that equal responsibility for housework does not necessary contribute to a happy home. The author responsible said the fact that equality and happiness did not correlate came as a surprise to him. “One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite.”

The reasons, though, have little to do with the chores. One possible explanation is the importance of defined roles in the family. These very clear roles help avoid situations where one spouse steps on the other’s toes, giving each an area of control. By not having overlapping household responsibilities, there’s less friction over chores and thus less arguments.

Child Support Enforcement :: Police Use Facebook To Find Delinquent Dad

Published on: September 27, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

We have previously written (Divorce in Mecklenburg County, NC and Facebook) about the dangers associated with Facebook when it comes to divorce, but we have never talked about the impact Facebook can have on child support arrangements. It’s common knowledge that these days North Carolina courts and law enforcement agencies are aiming to ensure that parents who owe court-ordered child support fulfill their financial obligations.

Obligors who fail to pay may be charged with contempt of court. If payments become severely delinquent, law enforcement and governmental agencies can sometimes step in and garnish wages, suspended a drivers’ license, or even put the delinquent parent in jail.

While child support is usually handled at the state level, the federal government sometimes gets involved in special situations, including when the debtor crosses state lines to avoid paying child support. In a recent federal case involving felony charges for unpaid child support, authorities succeeded in tracking down the debtor using a tool that is becoming increasingly common in such cases: Facebook.

The man is a native of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but now lives in Southern California. He was ordered to pay child support for his daughter but allegedly has not made any payments since 1996. In 2008, authorities charged him with six felony counts of unpaid child support, and he now reportedly owes over $100,000 in past due support payments.

Investigators recently learned of information concerning the man’s location only after filing a search warrant related to his Facebook information. The social media site contains such a wealth of user-provided personal data that it is often seen as a valuable tool in criminal investigations as well as civil cases.