Articles Posted in Separation

Negotiating a divorce settlement can be stressful, especially when tension is high and your spouse insists on contesting every last detail. One thing that often is last on people’s priority list, but which should not be overlooked, is insurance.

As the Huffington Post explains, insurance policies are standard parts of Separation and Property Settlement Agreements. The spouse who pays alimony or child support is commonly expected to maintain a life insurance policy that would cover the debt owed to the spouse or children on the receiving end of the money, in case the payer dies while a debt is owed.

If you’re the spouse who is the beneficiary, you must be certain that the policy amount is sufficient to cover your children’s educations, your mortgage and related debt. It’s important to consider sticking in guarantees that forbid a lapse, cancellation or change of beneficiaries to the life insurance policy.

The death benefit on a term policy should meet or exceed the minimum amount a spouse would pay over time for spousal or child support. But more than just that simple calculation, other expenses should also be considered. For instance, is the health insurance under the paying spouse’s name? If so, what would it cost to find a new insurer and pay the premiums? That needs to be calculated into the number needed for the policy’s death benefit.

It’s critical that the details are attended to when it comes to insurance. For instance, while most divorce agreements require that a spouse purchase a life insurance policy, does yours go on to require that they maintain it? Lapsed policies can be canceled, something you surely don’t want to happen if you’re the beneficiary. Experts suggest adding the beneficiary spouse’s name to the policy as a contact that insurers can use if policy premiums ever go unpaid.

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Recently the Huffington Post published a list of tips for men going through a divorce. However, a quick look reveals that the tips are applicable to any parent embroiled in the difficult process. In addition to the tips listed below, it is recommended that you consult with experienced family law attorneys in Charlotte, NC to help you through the process.

1. Do Not Move
Moving out and supporting two households is an expensive undertaking for even the most financially sound, especially given the current economy. While you may not get along with your spouse, unless a court says otherwise, it is financially advantageous to stay put. Obviously there are exceptions to this tip, such as domestic violence or a court order.

2. Do Not Hide Money
While divorces may be expensive, hiding your money is a bad idea. If the court discovers that you’ve been squirreling your money away, then you lose credibility and the court will be more likely to side against you in the future. In the end, hiding assets will cost you far more than it is worth.

3. Do Not Lose Your Cool
A divorce is not counseling, the decision to end the marriage has already been made, and a screaming match benefits no one. Even if one side is provoking the other, it is always best to keep a cool head. Keeping things friendly can help prevent a long drawn out divorce and will allow a much better environment for the children involved.

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We’ve said it before, but the trend known as “gray divorce” appears to be picking up steam. The numbers of senior divorces in the country continue to grow and with the baby boomers aging the amount will likely rise even faster.

Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin at Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family & Marriage Research Center conducted research that indicated the divorce rate among those over 50 years old had doubled between 1990 and 2009. This shocking figure was true even for those over the age of 65 showing it is not a phenomenon limited to divorce-prone boomers.

These same researches are predicting that the trend will only continue to escalate. The reason is that those who have already been through one marriage and are now remarried are more than 2.5 times more likely to divorce again than those who are still on their first marriage.

The reasons for the trend are hard to nail down and include everything from the larger number of older people, the age those people are living to, a greater acceptance of divorce, rising female empowerment and an increased emphasis on living a happy life.

Regardless of the cause, the trend has important financial implications for those going through a late in life divorce. The first thing to understand is that single life can be expensive. It’s not a simple matter of splitting all the bills in half. There’s a magnification to dividing bills and separate households are much more expensive to run than half of a marital household.

Beyond living expenses are the ordinary legal expenses associated with divorce. New legal documents will need to be drafted, often more than if you had divorced at a younger age. Wills will need to be redone, health directives, insurance polices, etc. Make sure you have a skilled North Carolina family law attorney on your side; you want someone experienced and capable of handling things amicably. At that age there’s no reason to try to end up inside a courtroom, the process is too expensive and could mean that a stranger decides what happens to your belongings.

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Here’s something that should not come as news to anyone going through the process: divorce can be expensive. When a couple decides to end their marriage, it is almost always for personal reasons but these emotional issues can quickly change into fights over money. The result can be financial destruction for both parties. Everybody loses, except the attorneys. The bit of good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Divorce doesn’t have to destroy both parties financially; the decision rests in your hands.

If you want your divorce to stay calm (and less costly) you have to keep some of the emotion out. Years of bitterness have built up but you can’t let that distract you from the goal of reasonably dividing assets. Deal with your emotions in therapy, not in a battle of lawyers. Your divorce should be about dividing property, not righting wrongs.

Many couples fall into one of a few traps that lead to the endless cycle of fighting and pumped up divorce fees. Watch for the following issues and you can help avoid financial disaster.

• Anger – Couples that carry around bitterness or jealousy and approach divorce like a war can result in sky-high legal bills. If the couple is out to destroy one another then the result is often mutual destruction.

• Ignorance – Not understanding the process, the couple can make expensive mistakes that take time and money to undo.

• Speed – Couples that are in a dead rush can create more problems than they think they’re solving. When one party is so eager to finish the marriage they can make rash and ill-advised decisions which lead to terrible consequences down the road.

• Delegation – While you certainly need to rely on the advice of your attorney, don’t turn the whole process over and let them run the show. If you are hands off then your lawyers can get into a paper war which succeeds only in raising their fees and draining you of money.

Now that you know what leads to the problems, here are some strategies that can be employed to keep costs from ballooning out of control:

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According to recent article in Psychology Today, while divorce may be ugly for some it does not have to be that way. For many reasons splitting up happens because two people simply weren’t meant to be married. If you’re trying to find ways to be good to your ex during your divorce follow some of these steps to help keep the peace:

1. Don’t try to be friends too soon.

You’ll both need time to heal and recalibrate following a divorce and making sure that you both have a safe distance from one another will allow you to do that on your own schedule. If your relationship is going to have any chance at becoming something new and healthy that allows you to be friends and strong parenting partners, you have to let it all go first. It may feel lousy and lonely for a while but it’s the best way to move forward.

2. Write everything down
Do not assume either of you will remember or abide by the agreement no matter how friendly things are initially. Get everything down in writing so nobody is tempted to ‘forget.’ When it comes to issues of money and parenting, the more details the better. The more that’s clear the less room there will be for fights later on.

3. Outline clear and effective consequences
Agree on what happens if one person does not follow the agreement or somehow does not follow through with their promises. Like with parenting, you need to know what happens to those who break the rules.

4. Resist old patterns
Part of the relief of divorce is you are no longer responsible for your partner’s multitude of issues. The same goes for them. You both are released from one another so be released. Resist the temptation to give or seek old patterns of support.

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