Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Alimony in North Carolina: Times, They Are A-Changin’

Published on: January 17, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Everyone knows that the world has changed a lot over the last several decades. One of those ways is the increasing earning power and presence of women in the workplace. Today, women make up almost half of the American workforce. Despite this big change in terms of financial empowerment, alimony laws across the country have remained fairly static. The fact that spousal support laws don’t appear to be keeping up with the times have prompted some to push for changes to the law to ensure that alimony laws reflect the economic realities of today’s job market.

Some groups, especially advocates for men, believe that the existing support laws are outdated and in desperate need of revision. After all, many of the laws were first passed in the 1960s and 1970s. The laws were initially meant to offer support to the spouse earning the least amount of money, almost invariably women. Today, such payments can seem anachronistic, especially given the opportunities for women to start high-earning careers.

These frustrations with alimony laws have led legislators in several states to try and place limits on existing laws or rewrite old ones. Legislatures in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Oklahoma are considering putting time limits on alimony awards and even legislating against alimony in cases where both spouses are on relatively equal financial footing. An article in the Wall Street Journal even mentioned a similar push here in North Carolina to alter some provisions of the states alimony laws.

North Carolina Man Sues Church Over His Divorce :: Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC

Published on: January 15, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In what is definitely a new twist on a typical divorce case, a local news station in Snow Camp, NC reports that one very unhappy man has now filed suit against his church, claiming that they are at least somewhat at fault for his divorce.

The man, Warren Pegram, from Alamance County, was a member of the Quaker church Cane Creek Meeting of the Society of Friends. Pegram and his wife attended the church for a number of years before any problems developed. Pegram says that at some point members of the church began plotting against him and helped encourage his wife to move out and proceed with a divorce.

Pegram has said that he believes the church was a powerful influence in his wife’s mind; something he only realized after the divorce was over. While he won’t lay 100% of the blame on the congregation, he says that his wife never would have left without their active assistance. He says church members helped her move her things out of the marital residence and get her set up elsewhere. Pegram says he believes the church conspired with his wife to abandon him because they wanted to punish him for slighting the pastor.

Pegram claims the divorce has cost his financially as well as emotionally. His wife contributed 60% of the household’s money and he has been struggling since her departure last February. He has now filed suit against the church, asking for $180,000 plus $10 million in punitive damages. He says the large amount of money is meant to send a message to other churches not to meddle in the private affairs of congregants.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Iredell County, NC :: Sad Story Demonstrates Importance of Choosing A Quality Divorce Attorney

Published on: January 10, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In a very troubling story out of Minnesota, a divorce lawyer in Eagan has been barred from practicing law for the next 15 months. The reason? According to an article on The Huffington Post, the lawyer admitted to having sex with a client. Though that by itself represents a major ethical lapse, it gets even worse. Lowe also admitted that he billed the client for his time.

A local newspaper in the area reported that the lawyer had known the woman since the mid-1980s, but that the affair only began in late 2011 after the woman asked him to represent her in a divorce case. Not wanting to waste any time, the lawyer asked the woman only a few days later if she wanted to start a sexual relationship. That move was a huge misstep, a clear violation of the state’s Rules of Professional Conduct for attorneys.

Though this sordid affair is bad enough, it was later revealed that after each encounter, Lowe would bill the client for his “hard work”. Each rendezvous appeared on the woman’s bill as either a “meeting with client” or “drafting memos.”

The affair continued until March of 2012, allowing Lowe to rack up plenty of bills. It only ended after Lowe’s wife learned that her husband had been cheating. Lowe then ended the affair and withdrew as her attorney, but not before sending her one final bill. The stress proved too much for the poor woman who then attempted suicide. Concerned hospital staff pressed her for answers and she ended up revealing the relationship.

The Minnesota Supreme Court moved to revoke Lowe’s license to practice law last week on the grounds that his behavior amounted to gross professional misconduct. The sexual relationship by itself was cause for the suspension, but the additional step of billing the client for meetings in which sexual relations took place shocked the panel that heard his case. The most recent incident was sadly not the first trouble for Lowe. Back in 1997, he was also put on probation for using cocaine that he purchased from another client.

While it can be hard to choose the right divorce attorney, most people should have better luck than the woman in this case. Given the importance of a family law attorney to your life, it’s critical that you pick one you can trust. A divorce attorney is the one you’ll have to rely on for help when you need to make the hard decisions about your divorce. To be able to do that, you need to know that they have your best interest at heart.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Monroe, Union County, NC :: Danica Patrick Divorce Reminds Us Of The Value of Prenups

Published on: January 8, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent press conference involving NASCAR racing legend Danica Patrick demonstrated, in a round about way, the benefits of a prenuptial agreement.

Preparing for the upcoming season with NASCAR, Patrick participated in a North Carolina media event hosted by Sprint. At the press conference, reporters brought up the racer’s recently filed divorce. Patrick made the move to split on January 3rd from her husband of seven years, Paul Hospenthal, a physical therapist. The two filed for divorce and in papers, said that the marriage was “irretrievably broken.”

Despite all the emotions Patrick must be feeling she remained unflappably calm during the duration of the press conference and appears to have no worries ahead of an important season. When asked specifically about the divorce and her personal life, Patrick said that she’s feeling good and has managed to stay happy during the past few weeks despite the breakup. One of the reasons for the relatively low stress may be the prenuptial agreement Patrick entered into with her husband.

Shockingly, almost no one expects the divorce to turn nasty. In fact, no attorneys are yet involved in the case. Patrick filed the papers herself and stated that she and her husband have a prenuptial agreement that they will be enforcing. Beyond that, both agreed that neither would ask for alimony, this despite the large amount of money Patrick earns racing cars and from sponsorship deals.

Patrick said that she’s remaining calm and does not believe the divorce will affect her racing in any way. Such an easy divorce in such a high profile relationship is rare and a testament to the value of a prenup. By settling difficult issues early on, the couple can now divorce in a way that causes the least amount of pain and emotional hardship possible.

Child Support Lawyers and Attorneys in Concord, Cabarrus County, North Carolina :: Man Must Support Artificially Conceived Kids

Published on: January 3, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent decision issued by an Indiana appellate court, one man in the midst of a nasty divorce must pay child support for his two children even though they were conceived by artificial insemination from another man’s sperm.

The Indiana Court of Appeals flatly rejected the man’s claim that he ought to be excused from child support payments given that his children were not biologically his. The couple married back in 2001 and began looking into the possibility of artificial insemination after they learned the husband’s vasectomy would not be able to be reversed. A family friend offered his sperm and they went on to have two children. The first, a boy, was born in 2004. Two years later a girl was born with sperm from the same man.

The issue in contention was whether this insemination was done with the man’s consent. The procedure was performed without a doctor and in the privacy of their own home. The husband claims he never consented to the artificial insemination. His wife disagreed, saying the man fully understood what they were doing and was in agreement.

The appellate court pointed out that the husband spent years acting as the father to both children. Even after the two separated he continued paying for the kid’s clothes, medical expenses and daycare. Only after he filed for divorce in 2010 did he change his mind and claim that he should not have to support the children because they were not biologically his.

The case was first heard last year by a lower court which held that the kids were products of the marriage between the couple. As a result, the judge said that the man was responsible for supporting the children, despite the genetic differences. Last week, the state Court of Appeals decided it agreed.

One complication to the matter is that, Indiana lacks any substantive laws regarding parenthood and artificial insemination. A website meant to educate potential sperm donors says that 32 states have laws that state the husband, not the sperm donor, is the child’s legal father. Other states, including North Carolina, have a further stipulation that says the husband’s written consent must be obtained before artificial insemination takes place in order to hold him liable for child support. Indiana, however, has no such requirement.

Property Division and Equitable Distribution Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina ::

Published on: January 1, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

For those who work for the federal government, the term Thrift Savings Plan (or TSP) is likely very familiar. The TSP acts as a retirement savings plan for all federal civilian employees and even some in the military. A TSP is what’s known as a defined contribution plan and functions similar to a 401(k) plan.

Those who either have a TSP of their own or are married to a spouse who works for the government might wonder how the retirement vehicles are handled during a divorce. It’s important to know from the start that a TSP is capable of division in a divorce. It can even be garnished to fulfill the holder’s past-due alimony or child support obligations.

The spouse of the person with a TSP can receive some general information about the retirement account, but not many critical details. Upon written request, the government will provide a spouse or a spouse’s attorney quest with the account balance, any loan balances and statements. However, the TSP administrator will not reveal personal identifying information connected with the account.

A TSP can be split by providing the administrator with a court order that complies with federal regulations. The TSP provides a sample of such an order that contains all the necessary language, a step that makes drafting the order easier. Once the administrator receives a valid order they will pay out the amount contained in the order to the designated party.

If you are married to someone with a TSP, it might be beneficial to have your attorney freeze the account with a court order. Such a step will ensure that your spouse cannot withdraw money from the account or make any loans against its value, thus reducing your share of the TSP.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five (More) Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 27, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As a follow-up to the last post we did about Yahoo’s 10 tips for those preparing for a divorce, here’s our spin on the last five bits of advice.

First, don’t bother trying to get revenge on your ex, it seldom works anyway. The Yahoo piece mentioned one especially nasty example of a wife telling her husband’s boss about an office affair. The news not only got her husband fired, but resulted in a huge loss of income for everyone involved. The wife’s alimony and child support payments were slashed as the ex looked for new employment. Even in less serious cases, badmouthing often works against you. Talking badly about your ex in front of the kids is never good as it puts them in a very uncomfortable position. It’s best to bite your tongue and channel your frustration in more positive ways.

Next, being divorced shouldn’t be viewed as a terrible failure. There’s nothing scandalous about a failed marriage and you shouldn’t concern yourself with worries about stigmas. Divorce just means that a relationship didn’t work, not that you are incapable of loving or being loved. Keep things in perspective as you move forward and meet new people.

Third, the holidays will be a real adjustment. It’s hard to prepare for how difficult spending Christmas or birthdays or Thanksgiving away from your kids will be until you experience it. It’s best to make plans early to ensure that when your kids are away you stay busy. Wallowing in your own depression won’t help the time pass any more quickly.

Fourth, though your kids might not say much about the divorce, their actions will speak volumes. Lots of kids will have trouble verbalizing their concerns, but pay attention to their behavior to see how they’re coping. Among young kids, if you see them regressing and behaving even younger than they are, that might be a concern. For older kids, anger, truancy problems or abnormal displays of defiance might be signs of trouble. The best way to handle issues is to address them as a family so everyone can talk about the changes they face.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article on Yahoo!, divorce experts and ordinary people who’ve gone through a messy breakup shared some tips on what they wish they had known before starting the sometimes-grueling process. The article contained 10 tips, the first five of which are summarized below. The rest will appear in a future post, so stay tuned.

First things first, understand that it’s going to take a while to heal and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t rush the grieving process; after all, everyone has to bounce back at their own pace. Having a close network of friends and family around can help ease the process, but a good therapist who can help you work through feelings of anger or fear might also be worth considering. One word of warning, make sure to work with a therapist that has dealt with divorce before, either personally or with other clients. After all, you don’t want to work through your issues with a novice.

Second, become an expert on your financial information. Many people may not realize how much of a divorce ultimately revolves around money. Get familiar with your bank accounts, your income, expenses, debts and assets. These numbers will prove critical in the coming weeks and months and you want to make sure you’re armed with all the facts before any decisions are made.

Third, start planning for the future, now. If you’re considering divorce then you need to also be prepared for the financial reality of dividing the same income between two houses. Figure out how much it will cost you to live, either in the house or in a new place if that’s what you want. While it’s sure to be an emotional time, financial realities cannot be ignored and bills will need to be paid. Splitting before you’re financially ready can cause headaches down the road and a bit of planning can usually solve the problem.

Fourth, count on unexpected costs. Even if you’ve planned things carefully there’s bound to be something you forgot or something entirely new that just popped up. Though you may be counting on a check from your ex right away, either child support or alimony, this doesn’t always work like it should. Sometimes an angry ex can delay payment to purposely cause financial hardship. Try to stockpile some money so can wait out a few weeks if need be.

Child Support Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: Kansas Sperm Donor Slapped With Child Support Bill

Published on: December 20, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

File this story under the tagline, “cautionary tale.” According to a recent Yahoo! article, one Kansas man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple has now found himself in the surprising position of being asked by the state to pay child support.

The sperm donor, William Marotta, gave the goods after signing a contract that specifically stated he would not be considered the father of the child nor would he ever be liable for child support. Though the girl who was born as a result of his gift lived for years without incident, this past fall the state of Kansas filed a petition asking that the man be declared the father of the child and be financially responsible for her after the lesbian couple endured financial difficulties.

Marotta has said he will ask the court to dismiss the claim. The state says a law on the books is clear that sperm must be donated through a licensed doctor for a father to be free of any future financial obligation. In his case, Marotta donated the semen after meeting the couple on Craigslist. The state is now asking him to pay child support, including almost $6,000 in expenses dating as far back as the child’s birth.

Marotta’s attorneys have said that the man has no parental rights because of the contract he signed with the girl’s mothers. They claim that the clear language of the agreement means that the man cannot be held financially responsible for the child. Marotta says he responded to the Craigslist ad seeking sperm donations for $50. He turned down the money, saying he and his wife, who have no children of their own, simply wanted to help a couple that wanted a child.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: NASCAR CEO Fails to Keep Divorce Records Sealed

Published on: December 18, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a report by the Charlotte Observer, the North Carolina Court of Appeals decided to uphold a lower judge’s decision to unseal the divorce records from the Chairman and CEO of NASCAR. The case was an especially interesting one and the details have now begun to emerge.

Lawyers for the NASCAR CEO Brian France spent years arguing that the documents should be kept confidential. The papers concern the 2008 divorce between Brian and his then wife, Megan France. The two have a colorful history given that they have been married and divorced twice now.

The Court ruled last year that the public’s right to view public court proceedings outweighed France’s interest in keeping the records private. Then Mecklenburg County District Court Judge Jena Culler reversed an earlier decision by another judge, deciding to unseal the records. Brian France appealed yet again, which meant the decision would be stayed until the Court of Appeals had an opportunity to hear the case again.

France’s attorneys argued before the Court of Appeals that allowing Judge Culler to overturn the order of another judge with an equal rank would result in “judicial anarchy.” The panel with the Court of Appeals was unmoved. Instead, they held that Judge Culler’s decision to unseal the divorce was valid. Given that the three-judge panel was unanimous there is no automatic right to appeal to the North Carolina Supreme Court.

Though records have not yet been released, statements made in court by attorneys on both sides reveal that there are plenty of juicy details in the paperwork. The two are involved in a dispute over whether Megan violated a confidentiality agreement signed during their most recent divorce.