Advice For How To Handle A North Carolina Divorce

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”


A recent article discussed some great advice for those either considering divorce or in the midst of an ongoing split. The advice comes from the perspective of a family law attorney and is meant to ensure divorce litigants avoid some common pitfalls during the process. By trying to be mindful of the following issues you could go a long way to improving the overall divorce experience.


To do list North Carolina Family Law Attorney Charlotte Divorce LawyerFirst things first, it is important that you keep your eyes on the prize. What is the prize? Divorce. When people begin the divorce process and meet with their family law attorney they almost always have a clear goal in mind. Divorcing with as little pain as possible, securing a workable custody arrangement and reaching an equitable division of financial assets. Sounds good. The problem is that as the divorce process kicks into gear it becomes easy to lose sight of these goals and instead become consumed with daily bickering. Rather than get bogged down in minutiae, try and keep your focus on your long-term goals and rise above the day-to-day squabbles; let your attorney worry about those things.


It is also important to understand that avoiding unnecessary fights is not the same thing as giving up. Some divorce litigants make the mistake of thinking that those attorneys who insist on fighting for every last cup and saucer are the good ones. They think this kind of behavior shows devotion or toughness. In reality, engaging in unnecessary arguments only pads their legal bill and wastes money you could use later when starting your new life. Though no one advocates being a pushover, a truly experienced attorney will know what things are worthy of a fight and what things aren’t.


Finally, and this is an important one, remember that with divorce, as with most things, it takes two to tango. It is easy for those going through a divorce to blame their spouse for the length, expense and hostility involved in the split. Sometimes it’s true, the other party is bitter, angry and intransigent. However, many times the truth is a bit more complicated.


Though you may not like to look into the mirror, it is often the case that lengthy, expensive or overly contentious divorces got that way after both parties ratcheted up the tension. If you want to avoid getting bogged down in a never-ending divorce, practice what you preach and try to rise about minor fights. Doing so will go a long way to encouraging similarly helpful behavior from your spouse.


If you find yourself facing a complicated family matter then you need the help of experienced family law attorneys in Charlotte, North Carolina who can help guide you through the often confusing process of divorce, please contact Arnold & Smith, PLLC today at (704) 370-2828 or find additional resources here.


About the Author:

ARNOLD&SMITH_243 3.jpgMatthew Arnold is a Managing Member with Arnold & Smith, PLLC where he focuses his practice on most aspects of Family law including: divorce, child custody, child support, alimony, and equitable distribution. Mr. Arnold is an experienced trial attorney who has tried jury and bench trials in both North Carolina District Court and North Carolina Superior Court.

Mr. Arnold grew up in Charlotte, graduating from Providence Senior High School and continued his education at Belmont Abbey College on a basketball scholarship. After graduating cum laude he attended law school at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill on a full academic scholarship. In his spare time, Mr. Arnold enjoys golfing and spending time on the North Carolina Coast with his wife and three young children: two daughters and one son.



“Do Not Be That Divorce Litigant,” by Robert Epstein, published at



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