Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: Some important “Do Not’s” for Those Going Through Divorce in North Carolina

Published on: August 23, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Recently the Huffington Post published a list of tips for men going through a divorce. However, a quick look reveals that the tips are applicable to any parent embroiled in the difficult process. In addition to the tips listed below, it is recommended that you consult with experienced family law attorneys in Charlotte, NC to help you through the process.

1. Do Not Move
Moving out and supporting two households is an expensive undertaking for even the most financially sound, especially given the current economy. While you may not get along with your spouse, unless a court says otherwise, it is financially advantageous to stay put. Obviously there are exceptions to this tip, such as domestic violence or a court order.

2. Do Not Hide Money
While divorces may be expensive, hiding your money is a bad idea. If the court discovers that you’ve been squirreling your money away, then you lose credibility and the court will be more likely to side against you in the future. In the end, hiding assets will cost you far more than it is worth.

3. Do Not Lose Your Cool
A divorce is not counseling, the decision to end the marriage has already been made, and a screaming match benefits no one. Even if one side is provoking the other, it is always best to keep a cool head. Keeping things friendly can help prevent a long drawn out divorce and will allow a much better environment for the children involved.

Equitable Distribution Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: How to Split Invaluable Assets in a Divorce

Published on: August 21, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to the Seattle Times, Christopher Larson and Julia Calhoun were able to divide most of their assets, but when it came to their art collection the couple could simply not agree. While emotionally valuable items are common in divorce, the couple’s art collection had not only emotional value, but a tremendous dollar value. The collection was appraised for over $100 million and included several masterpieces by artists like Monet and Renoir.

Christopher Larson, a retired Microsoft executive, earned his millions by getting in on the ground floor of the tech giant back in 1981. His 0.5% stake in the company proved very lucrative and once the company went public Larson’s net worth soared. Today the couple not only has an impressive art collection, but also a stake in the Seattle Mariners and a 25,000 square foot home.

The couple was able to agree on everything except what to do with the art, and after two tries the issue was handed over to the court. The couple’s 47 pieces could have been split in a traditional way, sell everything and simply split the proceeds. The problem: high taxes on art combined with auction fees would significantly devalue the collection. Even worse, the couple owns so much 19th century art that selling it all could have flooded the market and devalued the works even more.

The judge in charge of dividing the art asked for both parties to submit their wishes on paper. Julia Calhoun sent a long document detailing her emotional attachment to each piece and which ones she valued most. Larson sent a business like reply saying he needed paintings valued over $750,000 to secure a line of credit. Additionally, he said, “I have lots of wall space to cover, and so I do not want a collection consisting of very few expensive paintings.” In the end, Calhoun got 19 paintings and Larson got 24. The couple also did some trading after the settlement was reached.

Divorce Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: The Impact of Divorce on a North Carolina Small Business

Published on: August 16, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Divorce is a hard enough process for anyone to go through and there are lots of complicated financial decisions that must be made. The money worries can multiply for small business owners who have the added concern of how the divorce will affect their livelihood and even employees.

First things first, your business will likely need to be valued in connection with the distribution of marital assets. This will mean a financial expert may need to go over the records of the company and ask questions about expenses and revenue streams. You’ll need to produce extensive documents to verify the numbers in this process. Sometimes valuations, especially complicated ones, can be expensive. Many times each party insists on having their own expert look at the books. The process can be time consuming and can serve as a distraction for employees who must spend time gathering documents.

Though the worst-case scenario in many business owners’ minds is that the company will have to be sold to pay the spouse his or her share of the marital assets, there are ways to minimize the impact of divorce on a small business.

1. First, hire a good attorney. An experienced Charlotte divorce attorney will know what to do to reduce the impact of the messy divorce process on the continued operations of your business.

2. If you have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that could come in very handy. Such agreements can predetermine the amount of assets that will be distributed in a divorce and can thus protect a business from being broken up.

3. If you have partners, take a look at your partnership agreement and see if it addresses a way of buying out or valuing a share of the company if divorce is filed against one of the owners. While this may not control what a family court judge does, it can show that there was an intent to minimize business disruption which the court will likely respect.

4. If you aren’t lucky enough to have either of the two above agreements, consider hiring a joint financial expert to value the business which will save both time and money. The process will move more quickly if the two of you can agree on one neutral party to conduct the examination.

5. All involved parties, including attorneys and experts, can sign a confidentiality agreement to protect any sensitive information that is uncovered while examining the business’ books such as trade secrets or other proprietary information.

6. Finally, to minimize the risk of a sale of the company, you can attempt to structure the settlement with periodic payments to your spouse rather than a lump sum.

Divorce Law Firms in Charlotte, NC :: Back to School Advice for Divorced Parents in North Carolina

Published on: August 14, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

It’s hard to believe that school is about to begin in Charlotte. The start of school also means the start of after school and weekend activities. This time of year can be particularly stressful for parents who are going through, or have recently gone through, a divorce, as the family adjusts to visitation with the kids’ new, and likely busier, schedules.

Getting a child back to school is hard enough, but if you are co-parenting with your ex for the first time it can be even harder. Here are some tips from the Huffington Post for how to make navigating back to school more comfortable for both parents and, more importantly, the child.

1) The all-important backpack – If it is the first year the child is going through a co-parenting situation they may feel like they don’t have their own space. Moving from one house to another can leave them feeling insecure. Their backpack can be the one place that is theirs. Help them customize it, and assure them no matter where they go they can have it with them and whatever they chose to keep inside. This will offer some security and consistency in a changed setting.

2) Encourage your kids to keep it simple – Your child may not know how to explain their new situation to their friends. They may not feel it’s “normal” and they may have some degree of anxiety when families are brought up. Sit down and talk to your child, encourage them to keep it simple when explaining things to their friends and that it’s okay that they live with mom some days and dad others.

3) Be involved with homework – Helping your children with homework is a great opportunity for a parent. It can help you bond, and give you an opportunity to teach lessons beyond spelling. Even if you are the non-custodial parent try to see if there’s a way to stay involved in your children’s schoolwork and ask them if there is anything you can help them with when you are able.

4) Communicate directly with your ex – Do not use your child as a messenger to your former spouse. Not only can kids forget important details that may not be of interest to them, but it also puts them in an odd situation. E-mail can be a great medium for this, it avoids awkward phone calls, gives you time to edit yourself and provides a written record that no one can later claim that they didn’t know.

Legal Separation Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: Legal Separations, Separation Agreements and Living Separate and Apart: Making Sense of all the ‘Separates’

Published on: August 9, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

You hear a lot about legal separation in North Carolina but most of what you hear may not be correct. For one thing, there is no such law describing a “legal separation.” You can file for divorce from bed and board which is essentially a fault based legal separation, but such motions are rarely granted and the process is seldom used. What most people are referring to when they talk about a separation is what is called a “separation agreement.”

A separation agreement is simply a contract between two people. The agreement must be voluntarily entered into by two individuals who are of sound mind and at least 18 at the time of signing. If any of these three requirements are not met the contract may not be enforceable.

Such agreements are meant to resolve such matters as property division, debts, custody and support when a married couple is ready to split. A common misunderstanding is that separation agreements are necessary precursors to divorce. A separation agreement does not serve as “proof” that you have been living separate and apart from your spouse for the requisite period of time nor does it make a divorce easier to obtain. It exists to help maintain a mutually agreed upon peace while a couple contemplates moving forward with divorce.

The next kind of “separate” we’ll be discussing is the requirement for divorce in North Carolina that the parties be physically separated for one year and a day. This means that you must live in separate homes for at least one year and a day to qualify for divorce in the state. Though many people refer to this as a formal “separation” there is no such legal distinction recognizing this.

Modification of Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: How does Child Custody Modification Work in North Carolina?

Published on: August 7, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

The process of dealing with a child custody modification depends on whether the original custody plan is part of a separation agreement or a court order. In case of the former, either parent can request for modification in custody in writing to which the other parent may or may not agree. When the other parent does not agree, the parent seeking custody modification can then take the matter to court.

If, however, child custody is part of a court order, the parent seeking modification needs to file a motion to modify the custody order with the court. It is possible even if the custody plan is part of a court order that the parents can reach an agreement on their own and then go to the judge for final approval. This is known as a consent order and is often the best approach if the parties are on good enough terms to communicate with one another.

North Carolina courts will consider modification of a child custody order only if the parent requesting the custody modification is able to prove a substantial and material change in circumstances. Only after the court has been satisfied that the change in circumstances is both substantial and material, will it then move on to consider what is in the best interest of the child. The reason for this is to prevent constant back and forth motions to change custody which would be destabilizing for the children. It also helps prevent the court from becoming overburdened with frequent and repetitive modification requests.

One such substantial and material change would be if the custodial parent is relocating to another state and the move will impact the child’s life. The court is then empowered to modify custody and visitation with a view towards the child’s best interest. Some courts switch custody from one parent to the other, although the increasingly common approach is to ask the parents to work out a plan under which both parents may continue to have significant contacts with their children.

Charlotte Divorce Lawyers :: Grounds for Divorce in North Carolina

Published on: August 2, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

There are only two grounds for divorce in North Carolina. They are discussed in North Carolina General Statute § 50-6. The state has only two grounds for divorce: 1) Separation for One Year; or 2) Incurable Insanity of One Spouse and Separation for Three Years. In North Carolina, the vast majority of marriages end due to the first basis: separation for one year.

Many states, including North Carolina, require a “cooling-off” period of separation for a specific length of time before no-fault divorce proceedings can take place. During this time, the couple is required to live apart from one another with the intent that the separation will become permanent. In North Carolina, after the couple has lived apart for the required year, the divorce is typically granted about 60 days after filing, and the decree is made final immediately.

Under state law, the one-year separation does not have to be according to mutual agreement; only one spouse is required to have the intent to stop cohabitating with the other. Under present law, isolated incidents of sexual intercourse do not stop the statutory one-year period from running, provided such incidents do not amount to a “resumption of marital relations.” The only proof required of this separation is the testimony of the plaintiff; no written statements or affidavits are necessary. As is the case with both grounds for divorce, one of you must have been a resident of North Carolina for at least six months.
The other way to get a divorce in North Carolina is to meet the grounds of incurable insanity. To do this, the spouses are required to have lived apart for three years or more because of the condition of insanity. The condition of insanity must be proven by the testimony of medical or psychiatric experts. Given the work required to prove the condition, the insanity basis as grounds for divorce is not used very often.

Charlotte Military Divorce Lawyers :: The Complexities of Military Divorce in North Carolina

Published on: July 31, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Deciding how to split up a couple’s accumulated assets is a challenging but necessary task before any divorce can be finalized. This already tough job can be made even more complicated if one or both spouses is an active duty or retired member of the military. In such situations, one of the couple’s biggest assets is almost always the military spouse’s pension. This pension, and all the rules that come along with it, make military divorces generally more complex than those of nonmilitary families.

Military pensions are often worth significant amounts of money and, as an added bonus, are guaranteed for the rest of the military spouse’s life. The Wall Street Journal says that a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force who has put in 30 years of service will receive a pension worth $72,288 a year. The pensions are not paid in lump sums, but if they were, the present value of the pension would easily exceed $1 million. What makes this even more valuable is that there is no minimum retirement age. It’s in the realm of possibility that someone who enlisted at 18 could retire at 38 and go on to receive a pension, including yearly cost of living increases, for decades into the future.

The state in which a spouse files the divorce petition can be one challenging aspect of the division of a military retirement pension. This can be tricky because, while a service member may be stationed at a base in North Carolina, they may have a permanent residence in another state. It’s also possible that an estranged nonmilitary spouse or ex-spouse could reside in yet another third state. Depending on the state, the nonmilitary spouse could lose out on the retirement benefits if certain forms are not filled out correctly.

The length of the marriage is another factor that can contribute to the difficulty of dividing up the military retirement pension. When the marriage overlaps the military spouse’s service period by 10 or more years, the nonmilitary spouse will receive benefit payments directly from the government. If the marriage lasted fewer than 10 years of the service period, then the government will not enforce a court order from the nonmilitary spouse for a share of the retirement pension. In such cases, if the military spouse does not agree to provide a share of the retirement benefits directly to the nonmilitary spouse, then the matter will have to be settled in a divorce court in the appropriate state.

The Impact of Divorce on Caregiving in North Carolina

Published on: July 19, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A reality that many families are only beginning to face is the effect that divorce can have later in life on caregiving, especially for adult children and stepchildren. Taking care of older parents is hard enough; the only thing harder is having multiple sets of parents to watch after. This difficulty is compounded by the impact of a chorus of people seeking to give their two cents, including spouses, siblings, stepchildren, half siblings, and stepsiblings.

Beyond the problems faced by those who are the children of divorce, worries loom for middle-aged people in the midst of a divorce. They too will require help in the future and the question of who will be around to do it is on lots of people’s minds. The problem isn’t a small one as data indicates that today one out of every three baby boomers is single, many due to divorce.

As we discussed last week (“Gray Divorces” Present Unique Challenges), the “gray divorce” trend is on the rise. They will all need help but who is going to step in? It’s common knowledge (and backed up by studies) that women tend to have stronger support systems in place than men. This means that women will likely be more secure in their old age with a larger network of people ready to care for them. Sociologists and others worry about how men, in particular, will survive without a wife around to help out in their old age.

One sociologist pointed out that because women more often keep the kids following a divorce (especially thirty years ago, the peak time for divorce for those entering old age today) the children may have bonded more with mom than with dad. Absent fathers may not have any children standing by to take responsibility if something happens.

Other problems facing older divorcees include the impact of stepchildren. Will stepchildren feel much allegiance to supporting their parent’s former spouse, one with whom they share no DNA? How about when parents remarry with adult children, some of whom have families of their own? Will those kids feel any kinship with the new step mom or dad and thus feel compelled to sacrifice for their care?

Victim of Adultery Gets Creative to Sell Home

Published on: July 17, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A mother of two who was the victim of infidelity after 10 years of marriage is trying to make lemonade out of life’s lemons. After her husband left her for a 22-year-old yoga instructor, Elle Zober channeled her frustration into helping sell the family home.

She started by making a sign and placing it in the front yard which reads, “Husband Left Us For 22-Year-Old – House For Sale By Owner (Adulterers Need Not Apply).” Zober says her husband knows about the sales pitch and even chipped in to pay for some of the signs promoting the sale.

Zober also launched a website about the sale, http://www.greatfamilyhome.com/, where she tells her story and offers photos of the property. On the website she says:

“We did everything right. Married ten years. Two kids: one perfect boy, one bouncy, perfect baby girl. We had almost no debt outside of our cars and we bought a house…. but, as with many marriages, our story ends in divorce. I’m not sure how this all happened… but, all I can is that as soon as your husband/wife starts using new texts languages like :/, or starts talking to you like a college kid…. check your phone bill – you’re probably going to be in for a surprise. For me that surprise came in the form of a 22 year old college student who likes yoga… and, other people’s husbands.”

Zober says they have not shown the signs to her children but have no problem airing their dirty laundry in public as long as the house sells. She said both she and her husband want to avoid having the house go into foreclosure, a common problem these days when a divorced family suddenly must support two households on the same amount of money as when there was only one. She’s not just selling the house, Zober has also decided to capitalize on the media attention surrounding her website and is even selling merchandise, including a $5 refrigerator magnet.