Divorce

Can Infidelity Help Avoid Divorce?

Published on: July 14, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

This is, admittedly, a radical notion. Particularly in Charlotte, North Carolina and surrounding areas. For goodness sake, North Carolina still recognizes Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation lawsuits. But, a recent article in the New York Times thoroughly explores whether infidelity might actually be good for some relationships. In this article, the author thoroughly explores the ins-and-outs of this theory. Before the reader allows her blood pressure to boil, she should read the article. The author seems to have a realistic and honest approach to the issue. One of the more important points which the author makes is that infidelity in a marriage is not for everyone.

Divorce Rates Decline

Published on: June 14, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to an article on Yahoo.com entitled Census: Divorces decline but 7-year itch persists, couples are slightly more likely to reach their tenth wedding anniversary. This comes after decades of steadily increasing divorce rates. The study also finds that of the first marriages that fail, most fail somewhere around seven years of marriage. Of those who remarried and subsequently separated, the second marriages tended to last four years.

Separation and Divorce Impacted by Long Commute

Published on: June 9, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to an article on Yahoo.com entitled Study: Long Commute Could Lead To Divorce, Separation, a new study out of Sweden suggests that long commutes increase chances of a divorce by 40 percent. This study found that the impact of a long commute tends to be higher on women than on men and that the riskiest time for a divorce is during the first few years of the long commute.

Obviously, there is no one factor which is a perfect predictor of divorce. Other factors can include things like just the opposite: transitioning to working from home after the couple is used to working outside of the house.

Divorce Financial Tips (5 of 5)

Published on: June 7, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog is exploring five Divorce Financial Tips which are outlined in an article on Yahoo.com entitled Getting a Divorce? 5 Ways to Ensure It’s Not a Financial Disaster. This final tip has more to do with one’s state of mind than it does with acts to be taken or avoided. Here it is suggested that the spouse have a mindset of fairness. Granted, what is, and is not, fair is often in the eye of the beholder.

But, the article points out that a willingness to compromise and the ability to settle things privately and out of Court can help you to avoid thousands of dollars in legal fees. Even if you can find a “Drive Thru Lawyer,” legal fees are typically pretty expensive.

Divorce Financial Tips (4 of 5)

Published on: June 2, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to Getting a Divorce? 5 Ways to Ensure It’s Not a Financial Disaster, the fourth bit of advice is to sell the house or other valuable assets if it is financially prudent to do so. Often times we will see people who want to hold on to the former marital home for emotional reasons. If you cannot afford it, it is typically wise to put the emotional issues aside and make the reasoned decision. This is something that a family law attorney can help you decide.

Divorce Financial Tips (1 of 5)

Published on: May 23, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As discussed previously in Divorce Financial Tips on Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog, there are strategies which can help to avoid the financial disaster which is so common in divorce cases.

The first such strategy which is discussed in the article on Yahoo.com is to make a realistic budget and figure out how your standard of living is going to change as a result of the separation and divorce. While it seems to be common sense that two people cannot live separately as economically as they can live together, North Carolina law says that both spouses have the right to continue to live at the same standard of living to which they became accustomed during the marriage. You may wonder: “how does that work?”

Lawyer wants Divorce Settlement Re-Do

Published on: May 16, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to an article on Yahoo.com (Citing Madoff fraud, lawyer wants divorce deal do-over), a prominant real estate lawyer in New York has sued his ex-wife to reopen their divorce settlement. As crazy as this may seem, there is actually a well established legal concept called “mutal mistake” which may allow for the contract to be set aside. The concept of “mutual mistake” allows for a contract to be set aside when there is a mutual mistake as to some important fact or provision. This means that both sides have to have the same misunderstanding.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (4 of 4)

Published on: April 15, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

16. Pain that Never Ends
Prescription drug addiction is one of the most common kinds of addiction. Abusers learn many different tricks for getting their pills. Back pain is one of the most common symptoms used to get pain medications because it is nondescript and hard to prove. It is also fairly easy to fake. If a young, healthy person claims to be suffering from chronic back pain and asks for narcotic pain medications, watch closely. Another tactic is going to more than one doctor and getting prescriptions for the same kinds of drugs. If a person says they cannot take NSAIDS, that is a red flag because the only thing left is a narcotic painkiller.

17. Sickness without a Cause
When people are abusing alcohol or drugs, they tend not to feel well much of the time. So, frequent vague illnesses can be a sign that something is wrong. They may also be using sickness as a reason to skip work. There are usually many different explanations which are difficult to prove or disprove. Also, low energy, fatigue and depression that all comes on suddenly without reason may be caused by withdrawal from the drug. Withdrawal sympoms can also be accompanied by irritability and flashes of anger.

18. Paranoia and Panic Attacks
Paranoia attacks are a well-known problem for anyone who has smoked pot. They are also a common side effect of many other drugs and alcohol. Stimulants can also cause panic attacks. These problems are often temporary, but the drugs or alcohol can actually change a person’s personality. Cocaine, in particular, alters the brain and can cause a variety of psychological problems, including paranoia. Drug or alcohol abusers may develop social anxiety, feel nervous and anxious in public situations and avoid them whenever possible.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (3 of 4)

Published on: April 12, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

11. Can I Try the Diet You’re On?

Many drugs like crystal meth, cocain and other “uppers” stimulate energy so much that the user feels no urge to eat. Many have no appetite whatsoever. Obviously, these people are prone to rapid weight loss. Often this sign of abuse is missed because it is sometimes seen as nothing to worry about. Weight loss is typically seen as a good thing and it is often overlooked as a symptom of drug abuse.

12. Squeaky Clean
Overuse of certain hygene products can be a signal that the person is trying to hide something. Overuse of gum or breath mints might show that someone is trying to mask the smell of alcohol. Ditto for excessive use of mouthwash or hand sanitizer gel. Dryer sheets can be used to disguise the smell of smoke. A bottle of eyedrops can be a sure fire sign that someone is trying to hide reddened eyes.

13. The Bathroom Game
The bathroom is the most obvious place to find prescription drugs. Sometimes people who abuse prescription drugs are so desperate that they cannot resist the temptation to scrounge them in other people’s houses. They often do this under the pretense of visiting thh bathroom. Sometimes the person takes too long in the bathroom or finds a reason to visit each of the bathrooms in a newly visited house.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (2 of 4)

Published on: April 7, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

6. The Money Magnet
Substance abuse is an expensive habit and drugs and alcohol cost money. This, combined with impaired judgment may lead many people to get into financial trouble by not paying attention to their affairs. Any kind of unusual money behavior can tip off families to drug or alcohol abuse. Bills might not be paid or the adict might start selling possessions on eBay. Coke and speed can send people into manic spending sprees while alcohol can spur gambling binges. Also, the person may ask family members for loans or use their credit card without asking.

7. The Clear Choice
Many alcoholics prefer vodka as their drink of choice because it is clear, looks like water and does not typically have a noticable odor. A dead give away is when a person puts vodka in their thermos and mixes it with their morning coffee. Pay attention if the person goes from their normal drink of choice to vodka or if you taste their drink it and is spiked. Watch grocery receipts too, are they buying large amounts of vodka?

8. Missing in Action
If the person is missing important events like high school graduation or a birthday party, the person may be displaying signs of addiction. Becoming secretive and unreliable is a trademark of addiction. They start to forget appointments, miss important events or come in late to work or school. Maintaining and hiding an addiction takes time and effort. The person may stop by the bar on the way home, then get coffee to sober up. Sneaking around the house is also a tip-off, like sneaking into the bathroom for Visine and to brush their teeth before talking to anyone.