Divorce

North Carolina Man Sues Church Over His Divorce :: Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC

Published on: January 15, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In what is definitely a new twist on a typical divorce case, a local news station in Snow Camp, NC reports that one very unhappy man has now filed suit against his church, claiming that they are at least somewhat at fault for his divorce.

The man, Warren Pegram, from Alamance County, was a member of the Quaker church Cane Creek Meeting of the Society of Friends. Pegram and his wife attended the church for a number of years before any problems developed. Pegram says that at some point members of the church began plotting against him and helped encourage his wife to move out and proceed with a divorce.

Pegram has said that he believes the church was a powerful influence in his wife’s mind; something he only realized after the divorce was over. While he won’t lay 100% of the blame on the congregation, he says that his wife never would have left without their active assistance. He says church members helped her move her things out of the marital residence and get her set up elsewhere. Pegram says he believes the church conspired with his wife to abandon him because they wanted to punish him for slighting the pastor.

Pegram claims the divorce has cost his financially as well as emotionally. His wife contributed 60% of the household’s money and he has been struggling since her departure last February. He has now filed suit against the church, asking for $180,000 plus $10 million in punitive damages. He says the large amount of money is meant to send a message to other churches not to meddle in the private affairs of congregants.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Iredell County, NC :: Sad Story Demonstrates Importance of Choosing A Quality Divorce Attorney

Published on: January 10, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In a very troubling story out of Minnesota, a divorce lawyer in Eagan has been barred from practicing law for the next 15 months. The reason? According to an article on The Huffington Post, the lawyer admitted to having sex with a client. Though that by itself represents a major ethical lapse, it gets even worse. Lowe also admitted that he billed the client for his time.

A local newspaper in the area reported that the lawyer had known the woman since the mid-1980s, but that the affair only began in late 2011 after the woman asked him to represent her in a divorce case. Not wanting to waste any time, the lawyer asked the woman only a few days later if she wanted to start a sexual relationship. That move was a huge misstep, a clear violation of the state’s Rules of Professional Conduct for attorneys.

Though this sordid affair is bad enough, it was later revealed that after each encounter, Lowe would bill the client for his “hard work”. Each rendezvous appeared on the woman’s bill as either a “meeting with client” or “drafting memos.”

The affair continued until March of 2012, allowing Lowe to rack up plenty of bills. It only ended after Lowe’s wife learned that her husband had been cheating. Lowe then ended the affair and withdrew as her attorney, but not before sending her one final bill. The stress proved too much for the poor woman who then attempted suicide. Concerned hospital staff pressed her for answers and she ended up revealing the relationship.

The Minnesota Supreme Court moved to revoke Lowe’s license to practice law last week on the grounds that his behavior amounted to gross professional misconduct. The sexual relationship by itself was cause for the suspension, but the additional step of billing the client for meetings in which sexual relations took place shocked the panel that heard his case. The most recent incident was sadly not the first trouble for Lowe. Back in 1997, he was also put on probation for using cocaine that he purchased from another client.

While it can be hard to choose the right divorce attorney, most people should have better luck than the woman in this case. Given the importance of a family law attorney to your life, it’s critical that you pick one you can trust. A divorce attorney is the one you’ll have to rely on for help when you need to make the hard decisions about your divorce. To be able to do that, you need to know that they have your best interest at heart.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five (More) Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 27, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As a follow-up to the last post we did about Yahoo’s 10 tips for those preparing for a divorce, here’s our spin on the last five bits of advice.

First, don’t bother trying to get revenge on your ex, it seldom works anyway. The Yahoo piece mentioned one especially nasty example of a wife telling her husband’s boss about an office affair. The news not only got her husband fired, but resulted in a huge loss of income for everyone involved. The wife’s alimony and child support payments were slashed as the ex looked for new employment. Even in less serious cases, badmouthing often works against you. Talking badly about your ex in front of the kids is never good as it puts them in a very uncomfortable position. It’s best to bite your tongue and channel your frustration in more positive ways.

Next, being divorced shouldn’t be viewed as a terrible failure. There’s nothing scandalous about a failed marriage and you shouldn’t concern yourself with worries about stigmas. Divorce just means that a relationship didn’t work, not that you are incapable of loving or being loved. Keep things in perspective as you move forward and meet new people.

Third, the holidays will be a real adjustment. It’s hard to prepare for how difficult spending Christmas or birthdays or Thanksgiving away from your kids will be until you experience it. It’s best to make plans early to ensure that when your kids are away you stay busy. Wallowing in your own depression won’t help the time pass any more quickly.

Fourth, though your kids might not say much about the divorce, their actions will speak volumes. Lots of kids will have trouble verbalizing their concerns, but pay attention to their behavior to see how they’re coping. Among young kids, if you see them regressing and behaving even younger than they are, that might be a concern. For older kids, anger, truancy problems or abnormal displays of defiance might be signs of trouble. The best way to handle issues is to address them as a family so everyone can talk about the changes they face.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article on Yahoo!, divorce experts and ordinary people who’ve gone through a messy breakup shared some tips on what they wish they had known before starting the sometimes-grueling process. The article contained 10 tips, the first five of which are summarized below. The rest will appear in a future post, so stay tuned.

First things first, understand that it’s going to take a while to heal and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t rush the grieving process; after all, everyone has to bounce back at their own pace. Having a close network of friends and family around can help ease the process, but a good therapist who can help you work through feelings of anger or fear might also be worth considering. One word of warning, make sure to work with a therapist that has dealt with divorce before, either personally or with other clients. After all, you don’t want to work through your issues with a novice.

Second, become an expert on your financial information. Many people may not realize how much of a divorce ultimately revolves around money. Get familiar with your bank accounts, your income, expenses, debts and assets. These numbers will prove critical in the coming weeks and months and you want to make sure you’re armed with all the facts before any decisions are made.

Third, start planning for the future, now. If you’re considering divorce then you need to also be prepared for the financial reality of dividing the same income between two houses. Figure out how much it will cost you to live, either in the house or in a new place if that’s what you want. While it’s sure to be an emotional time, financial realities cannot be ignored and bills will need to be paid. Splitting before you’re financially ready can cause headaches down the road and a bit of planning can usually solve the problem.

Fourth, count on unexpected costs. Even if you’ve planned things carefully there’s bound to be something you forgot or something entirely new that just popped up. Though you may be counting on a check from your ex right away, either child support or alimony, this doesn’t always work like it should. Sometimes an angry ex can delay payment to purposely cause financial hardship. Try to stockpile some money so can wait out a few weeks if need be.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: NASCAR CEO Fails to Keep Divorce Records Sealed

Published on: December 18, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a report by the Charlotte Observer, the North Carolina Court of Appeals decided to uphold a lower judge’s decision to unseal the divorce records from the Chairman and CEO of NASCAR. The case was an especially interesting one and the details have now begun to emerge.

Lawyers for the NASCAR CEO Brian France spent years arguing that the documents should be kept confidential. The papers concern the 2008 divorce between Brian and his then wife, Megan France. The two have a colorful history given that they have been married and divorced twice now.

The Court ruled last year that the public’s right to view public court proceedings outweighed France’s interest in keeping the records private. Then Mecklenburg County District Court Judge Jena Culler reversed an earlier decision by another judge, deciding to unseal the records. Brian France appealed yet again, which meant the decision would be stayed until the Court of Appeals had an opportunity to hear the case again.

France’s attorneys argued before the Court of Appeals that allowing Judge Culler to overturn the order of another judge with an equal rank would result in “judicial anarchy.” The panel with the Court of Appeals was unmoved. Instead, they held that Judge Culler’s decision to unseal the divorce was valid. Given that the three-judge panel was unanimous there is no automatic right to appeal to the North Carolina Supreme Court.

Though records have not yet been released, statements made in court by attorneys on both sides reveal that there are plenty of juicy details in the paperwork. The two are involved in a dispute over whether Megan violated a confidentiality agreement signed during their most recent divorce.

Child Custody Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: How to Handle Christmas During a Divorce

Published on: December 13, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Everyone knows how special Christmas is and all the memories and family and tradition associated with the holiday are exactly what make it so hard for those going through a divorce. Though it may seem difficult to believe, Christmas as a divorced parent can be just as special as it was before, assuming you follow some good advice as discussed on About.com.

Though most parents will find the season very emotional, especially early on, it’s important to remember that your children come first and you should try to not let your own feelings impact how your children experience the holidays. For instance, though missing out on spending time with your children over the holidays may be hard, it’s important that the kids not feel guilty for spending time with their other parent. While you can understandably be upset, keep the feelings to yourself.

It is also important after a divorce to begin new traditions. While some things can stay the same, others simply cannot. Rather than worry about all the things that will be different, embrace the changes that divorce has brought and take the opportunity to start doing something new and fun. Any past seasonal behaviors that were once wonderful but now dredge up negative emotions can be done away with and replaced by new and exciting activities.

It’s also critical to reach out to friends and family for support during the Christmas season. It’s true what they say, the more the merrier. The more people around to lighten your mood the better off you’ll be. Other people can be a great distraction and help keep you out of a bad emotional place.

Another good idea to take your mind off your own problems is to do something nice for others. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or deliver meals to senior citizens. Do something for someone else less fortunate and it will help remind you of all the good things you still having going for you. It also can help teach your children a valuable lesson about giving back to others, which is what the season is really about.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: North Carolina Court of Appeals Wrestles With Common-Law Marriage

Published on: December 11, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A North Carolina Appeals Court says that couples that want to be treated as spouses in a North Carolina divorce proceeding must establish their common-law marriages in other states first before moving to North Carolina.

Though marriage is a wonderful spiritual union between two people, the reality is under North Carolina law it’s a legal contract. When a valid marriage takes place, spouses automatically assume certain legal rights, such as the right to the other’s estate. Though these rights apply automatically to married couples, dealings with other couples aren’t so simple.

The North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled early last week that couples must establish common-law marriages in other states before they can be considered as spouses in divorce proceedings. Common-law marriages are not recognized in North Carolina. However, the appeals court said that the state’s courts “will recognize as valid a common-law marriage ‘if the acts alleged to have created it took place in a state where such a marriage is valid.'”
The case in question concerns a woman, Hulya Garrett, who is seeking alimony, division of property and a divorce from her boyfriend of many years, Charles Burris. The two lived together in Texas for eight years, a state that does permit common-law marriage. To qualify as a common-law marriage in Texas, a couple must prove three things: 1) that they agree to be married; 2) that they live together as husband and wife; and 3) that they represent themselves to others as spouses.

Divorce Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: What to do if you and your ex are in business together?

Published on: December 6, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Though it can be hard for business partners to keep personal issues out of the workplace, the trouble pales in comparison to the issues faced by partners that used to be married to one another. A recent article in the New York Times discussed what happens when a couple who runs a business gets divorced but wants to continue working together.

Given a 2007 Census Bureau estimate that showed husbands and wives own about 3.7 million businesses and the high rate of divorce, this situation is likely more common than many people realize. The following bits of advice are meant to help make the best of what almost anyone would describe as a difficult situation.

First, nothing is more important than respect. In many marriages there is simply too much anger to ever be able to work well together in the future. In others, the parties simply fell out of love but continue to trust and respect one another. Only you know if there are open lines of communication with your spouse and whether you can count on your ex to be consistent and predictable in your business relationship.

Second, seeking professional help can be very valuable. Unlike most other couples that divorce, business owners must still see each other on a regular or even daily basis. That can make it hard to heal and move ahead into new relationships. Seeking professional help can be important to deal with this state of limbo. Allowing personal feelings to interfere in a work conversation can be disastrous and learning tools to avoid that are crucial.

Next, you have to sit down and craft a real partnership agreement. This is something that anyone who partners with a stranger would do right away, but a step almost always skipped when a business is formed with a spouse. Assuming you never created such an agreement, once the divorce is final it’s critical that you work together to craft a plan for what to do and how to split assets if one partner wants out of the business. Having an agreement will add security to what is likely already a tense situation.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: Can your spouse prevent you from divorcing in North Carolina?

Published on: October 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Thankfully, many divorcing couples are on the same page about wanting to get a divorce. The fights or problems communicating have been obvious to both parties for a while and the decision to divorce was a long time coming. However, there are times when the parties aren’t in such perfect agreement.

Sometimes one spouse wants the divorce and the other spouse does not, other times one spouse is caught by surprise, unaware that there were ever any issues. In these situations, the spouse who does not want the divorce may stall or refuse to do anything to keep the divorce moving toward a resolution. This can be extremely frustrating for the person seeking the divorce because it means more time and money spent on the process.

In all North Carolina divorces, the first step after filing the Complaint for Absolute Divorce is that the respondent must be formally served with a copy of the Complaint. In many amicable divorces, the person who files the Complaint (petitioner) can simply give their spouse (the respondent) a copy as an alternative to being personally served with the divorce papers by a sheriff or private process server.

If the respondent refuses to cooperate, however, he or she will have to be personally served. If the respondent goes out of their way to evade service, the petitioner will likely have to use a private process server, who will request additional information about the respondent’s schedule and whereabouts before tracking them down. This option is more expensive than having the sheriff do the service, but has a better chance of success.

If your spouse desperately does not want the divorce they may refuse to attend mediation sessions or a settlement conference. If that’s the case, the petitioner will have to request a final hearing to obtain a Final Decree of Divorce. As long as the respondent is properly notified of the hearing date, the court can grant the divorce, even if the respondent chooses not to attend.

Divorce Lawyers Concord, Cabarrus County, North Carolina :: How to Negotiate During a North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 23, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Without a doubt, one of the most difficult things to do during a divorce is to negotiate the terms and conditions that will govern your life: custody, marital property settlement, alimony, child support, visitation, etc.

Negotiations are something many couples likely have no experience with and it’s important to know that there is no right way to handle the process. Each negotiation depends on the peculiar quirks of the couple involved. They can take place face to face or through lawyers or mediators. They can be difficult and emotion or calm and rational.

One bit of advice that many experienced Concord North Carolina family law attorneys know is that negotiations move along much more smoothly when both spouses are at the same place emotionally. That means, when both the husband and wife each accept that the marriage is over and that moving on is the best option for everyone.

In cases where one party has been blindsided by the divorce, lots of anger can result. The surprised party can try to stall, unnecessarily dragging their feet in an attempt to get the other spouse to reconsider. Negotiating with such a spouse is usually pointless as unreasonable demands are often made and a fair settlement gets nowhere. It’s for this reason that many couples find it a good idea to wait for some period of time so that everyone has a chance to cool down and come to grips with reality before beginning a serious negotiation.