Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

The Truth Behind Several Common Divorce Myths :: Part II :: Family and Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte and Concord, NC

Published on: February 14, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

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As a continuation of our first post explaining some of the most common myths surrounding the divorce process, we’ll dive into another batch of divorce misconceptions provided by Yahoo!.

Another common marriage misunderstanding is that those who live together before getting hitched have a lower risk of divorcing. This myth makes some sense given that you’d think those couples who lived together before marriage would be better able to survive the rigors of marriage. Unfortunately for those shacking up that just isn’t the case. Instead, the reasons for living together often determine whether it will provide a benefit later in a marriage. If a couple chooses to get together after lots of thought and careful consideration, it can sometimes result in lower risk of divorce. If, on the other hand, a couple lives together out of economic necessity, because one person lost a job or can’t afford rent, the experience actually increases the risk of divorce.

Those preparing for divorce, especially husbands with a few extra dollars in their bank account, might want to pay special attention to this next one. Thankfully, not all wives walk away with alimony. There’s a popular belief that almost all divorce cases end with one party walking away with spousal support payments, but the fact is that today that is much less likely. It’s common to have cases where women earn the same or even more than their husbands and even in cases where they don’t work, if the woman has a skill set or education that allows her to find work, many judges will demand that she do so. This is especially true in short marriages, as the less time a couple has been together the less likely any alimony will be awarded.

The Truth Behind Several Common Divorce Myths :: Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Concord, Cabarrus County, North Carolina

Published on: February 12, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According a recent article on Yahoo!, several of the most commonly repeated factoids about divorce have actually been either tragically misconstrued or are instead completely false. Rather than allow urban legends to perpetuate, it’s important to clear a few of the big ones up.

First off, one out of every two marriages do not end in divorce. This is one of the most commonly bandied about statistics, often used as an example of the terrible state of morality in the country and a dire warning to those considering getting married. The fact is that the divorce rate is actually somewhere between 40 and 50 percent. Even this number is artificially high given that it includes those habitual users who rack up multiple divorces and drive the rate higher. Take the number with a grain of salt and remember that statistics do not have to determine the success of your marriage.

Second, the idea that second marriages are more likely to last than first marriages is, sadly, untrue. Though the idea makes sense, given that those going down the aisle a second time would be more mature and likely more hesitant to plunge into a marriage, the numbers tell a different story. According to experts, between 67 and 80 percent of second marriages end in divorce. Even more shocking is that third marriages continue the trend and have even higher divorce rates. The reality is that once you’ve been divorced you are more likely to see divorce as an option and go through it again.

Another commonly misunderstood aspect of the divorce process has to do with its supposed expense. The popular belief is that divorce is an incredibly expensive process that drains the bank accounts of even those with money to spare. While it’s certainly true that some celebrities or wealthy couples can be involved in lengthy and costly legal battles, it’s almost never the case.

Young Girl Sues Parents For Trying To Force Her Into Abortion :: Family Law Firms in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina

Published on: February 7, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

It’s no secret that there are times when parents and their children are not on the same page regarding important life choices. In some of the most extreme cases, a resolution is only reached with the help of the family law system. This seems to be the case involving a teenage mother-to-be in Texas who is fighting for her right to determine the fate of her unborn child.

The case involves a pregnant teenager in Texas who was embroiled in a lawsuit against her parents, claiming that they were trying to force her to have an abortion. Attorneys for the girl say that they were granted a long-term injunction against the girl’s parents by a family court judge earlier this week.

The girl, who was represented by the Texas Center for Defense of Life, filed a lawsuit arguing that her parents were violating her federal constitutional rights to carry her child to term. The suit claimed the parents were coercing her into having an abortion through harassment along with verbal and physical threats. When her parents found out about her pregnancy, her father became extremely angry and insisted that the decision was not up to her and that she would be having an abortion, end of story. They then took away her cellphone, removed her from school, forced her to get two jobs and took away her car to try and force the girl to get the abortion.

The girl is currently 10 weeks pregnant and the injunction is scheduled to last for the remainder of her pregnancy. The order goes on to say that the 16-year-old is entitled to use her car to go to school, work and doctor appointments. The family court judge also ordered that the parents be responsible for half of the hospital bills when the girl gives birth. The only way the parents will be excused from the expenses is if she marries the child’s father.

Post-Valentine’s Day Period Sees Rise In Divorce Filings :: Child Custody Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC North Carolina

Published on: February 5, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Though it’s sad to imagine, the truth is the post-Valentine’s Day time period is a busy one for many family law attorneys, even those here in North Carolina. A recent study discussed in a Yahoo News article, found that divorce filings rose by as much as 40% after the lover’s holiday.

Lawyers interviewed in the Yahoo piece say that their experience is similar, that the supposedly romantic holiday is often a time where many couples whose relationships have been on the rocks stop and take a hard look at their marriage. The problem is that the holiday is so often associated with wildly unrealistic expectations that when things fail to turn around after one lovey-dovey day it can really hit them hard and serve as the final straw.

Many of the experts interviewed said that couples that have been questioning their relationship often first approach divorce attorneys in January after the holidays are over, usually with questions and concerns. If they aren’t ready to pull the trigger quite yet, many will say they want to wait and see how Valentine’s Day goes and when the day fails to live up to expectations, many decided to go ahead and file.

Another interesting statistic comes from the legal referral site, Avvo, which says each year it sees a huge spike in the number of inquiries for divorce attorneys in the days immediately following Valentine’s Day. The company announced that over the past several years the site sees an average 40% increase in the number of requests for divorce attorneys in the time surrounding Valentine’s Day.

Another trend observed by some family law attorneys is to use the holiday to send an especially pointed message. Some clients request that important depositions be scheduled on Valentine’s Day or that the divorce petition be held over to file on the 14th.

Re-Adopted Child Successfully Sues First Family For Share Of Inheritance :: Adoption Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC

Published on: January 31, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent Yahoo! article, an appeals court in New York ruled in favor of a Chinese girl who was adopted by a wealthy couple and then subsequently given up for adoption a second time. The family court judge ruled that the girl was owed a portion of her first family’s $250 million estate despite being given up for adoption by the couple back in 2003.

In 1996 a couple from Westchester County, NY adopted a baby from China, naming her Emily. The couple already had four biological children and, before Emily’s adoption was finalized, had a fifth biological child. Around the same time the husband was diagnosed with cancer.

When the adoption was finalized the family signed a contract stating the girl would legally be treated as if she were their biological offspring and that they would never abandon or have the girl readopted. The agreement also clearly stated that Emily would have a right to inherit the estate of her parents who had already established a trust in her name.

Tragically, the husband died only a year later. Years later, when Emily was taken to a school for children with special-needs, the surviving mother had her attorneys float the idea of having the girl adopted. The school’s assistant director and her husband expressed interest and agreed to adopt the girl.

The new parents had no knowledge of the family’s wealth or of the trust fund set up to care for the girl. Several years later the parents saw a filing that listed the family’s net worth at more than a quarter of a billion dollars and then filed suit claiming that Emily was entitled to a share of the estate. The mother responded saying that Emily had no rights to the estate since she had been readopted.

How To Tell If You’re Being Spied On :: Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina

Published on: January 29, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

One of the problems for those going through a divorce, especially in todays technologically connected world, is what information an ex might be able to obtain by snooping on your electronic communications.

A recent survey by a phone security company revealed that a third of all respondents said they have snuck glances at or spied on a loved one’s text messages or other phone communications. The question for many, especially those going through a tumultuous divorce, is whether you can find out if anyone is snooping on you.

First things first, if you think someone might be spying on you change all your important passwords: e-mail accounts, bank accounts, credit cards and retirement plans. You can also contact your cellphone carrier and make sure that your GPS tracking service is turned off and can only be activated by yourself.

Those worried about snooping should also keep a low electronic profile, especially on social media sites. If you simply can’t resist the urge to post things online, it’s essential that you at least change your account settings so that only friends that you’ve selected are able to access your page.

For those with Android phones, there’s an app known as HiddenEye which you can install on your phone. The app works by taking a picture of anyone that attempts to gain access to your phone by typing in a wrong password. That way the next time you open up your phone a picture will be stored in the phone’s photo gallery. Other apps work by allowing you to remotely lock or even wipe clean your phone if you believe its been stolen.

For those with iPhones there aren’t as good apps for watching others who may be watching you. The best option is called WhoSnooped, which works by taking a photo of anyone who unlocks a phone. The problem is that the photo is taken very conspicuously and can even be deleted by the person who did the snooping.

Fiscal Cliff and The Impact on Divorce :: Divorce Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC

Published on: January 24, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

For those wealthy individuals in North Carolina who intended to divorce this year, a recent article in the Wall Street Journal points out that the decision may have recently become more complicated.

Given that the time following New Year’s is one of the most popular periods to file for divorce, financial advisors and divorce attorneys have had to consider changes caused by the American Taxpayer Relief Act, the bill passed by Congress last month meant to avoid the country falling off the fiscal cliff. The new taxes imposed by the law mean that decisions about whether to pay alimony and how to divide up investments and pension plans may need to be reconsidered.

Alimony among high-income couples is getting lot of attention now that the new tax law has passed. The fear is that alimony, which is counted as income for the recipient, could boost a person over the new $400,000 threshold for the top income bracket. Such a move could mean that the person has to pay almost 40% income tax rate. The good thing about alimony is that it is tax deductible for the payor. Child support on the other hand is neither deductible nor reportable as income. That means a concerned spouse worried about tax liability could insist that benefits be paid as child support rather than spousal support, a new issue to fight over during settlement negotiations.

Florida Judge Signs Off On Birth Certificate Listing Three Parents :: Child Custody Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte Mecklenburg County, NC

Published on: January 22, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

One girl in Florida will be able to count herself among the very few who can say that they legally have three parents. A judge in Miami-Dade County recently signed off on the unique agreement which gave a lesbian couple and a gay man parental rights to the child.

The situation came about after a hairstylist in Miami Beach, Massimilano Gerina, met a lesbian couple and became fast friends with them. The couple had an interest in conceiving a child and approached Gerina several times with the idea.

After more than a year of discussion, the trio entered into a verbal agreement saying that Gerina would be the father of the baby and be permitted to see her whenever he wanted. Though the agreement existed in their minds, nothing was ever written down, assuming it would easily be put in place later. The insemination process took place in a private medical setting and happened much more quickly than anyone expected, not allowing for time to flesh the agreement out more fully.

The lesbian couple, apparently after having a change of heart, drew up a new agreement and asked Gerina to sign, one that said he would only be seen as a sperm donor and would have no parental rights to the child. Gerina was shocked and sued the couple for paternal rights once the girl was born.

Alimony in North Carolina: Times, They Are A-Changin’

Published on: January 17, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Everyone knows that the world has changed a lot over the last several decades. One of those ways is the increasing earning power and presence of women in the workplace. Today, women make up almost half of the American workforce. Despite this big change in terms of financial empowerment, alimony laws across the country have remained fairly static. The fact that spousal support laws don’t appear to be keeping up with the times have prompted some to push for changes to the law to ensure that alimony laws reflect the economic realities of today’s job market.

Some groups, especially advocates for men, believe that the existing support laws are outdated and in desperate need of revision. After all, many of the laws were first passed in the 1960s and 1970s. The laws were initially meant to offer support to the spouse earning the least amount of money, almost invariably women. Today, such payments can seem anachronistic, especially given the opportunities for women to start high-earning careers.

These frustrations with alimony laws have led legislators in several states to try and place limits on existing laws or rewrite old ones. Legislatures in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Oklahoma are considering putting time limits on alimony awards and even legislating against alimony in cases where both spouses are on relatively equal financial footing. An article in the Wall Street Journal even mentioned a similar push here in North Carolina to alter some provisions of the states alimony laws.

North Carolina Man Sues Church Over His Divorce :: Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC

Published on: January 15, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In what is definitely a new twist on a typical divorce case, a local news station in Snow Camp, NC reports that one very unhappy man has now filed suit against his church, claiming that they are at least somewhat at fault for his divorce.

The man, Warren Pegram, from Alamance County, was a member of the Quaker church Cane Creek Meeting of the Society of Friends. Pegram and his wife attended the church for a number of years before any problems developed. Pegram says that at some point members of the church began plotting against him and helped encourage his wife to move out and proceed with a divorce.

Pegram has said that he believes the church was a powerful influence in his wife’s mind; something he only realized after the divorce was over. While he won’t lay 100% of the blame on the congregation, he says that his wife never would have left without their active assistance. He says church members helped her move her things out of the marital residence and get her set up elsewhere. Pegram says he believes the church conspired with his wife to abandon him because they wanted to punish him for slighting the pastor.

Pegram claims the divorce has cost his financially as well as emotionally. His wife contributed 60% of the household’s money and he has been struggling since her departure last February. He has now filed suit against the church, asking for $180,000 plus $10 million in punitive damages. He says the large amount of money is meant to send a message to other churches not to meddle in the private affairs of congregants.