Tips for Communicating During Divorce

6Tips for Communicating During Divorce

Navigating a divorce can be tricky and complicated. You and your spouse are going through some of the most emotional times of your lives, which can make communication difficult. It is likely that you have already had some communication challenges in your relationship. Even if you have a good relationship with your spouse, the stress of divorce can cause a breakdown in communication. It is helpful to learn some tips for communicating during a divorce to make the process easier and less stressful.


Learn to Listen

Listening to the other person may not be your strong suit, but it can really help to ease communication issues during divorce. Often, your spouse simply needs you to hear what he or she is saying and acknowledge it. You need to be able to have a healthy give-and-take in order to resolve many of the issues that could become disagreements. Take time to process what the other person is saying. If you need time to think about something, tell your spouse that you will discuss the matter once you have had some time. Then commit to future discussion. Do not demand that you discuss anything immediately since this can only lead to problems.


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Do Not Allow Your Spouse to Push Your Buttons

During your marriage, it is likely that you and your partner both found ways to push each other’s buttons. Now that you are going through a divorce, do not allow the other person to engage you in an argument. Do not allow your spouse to intimidate you or become verbally abusive. Instead, do not argue and stay as calm as possible. Politely end the conversation before it escalates. Then, review the content of the discussion so you can have a more productive conversation about it another time. If you are having consistent trouble talking without arguing, you may need to seek counseling or help through mediation.


Try to Have Brief and Friendly Conversations


It is important to try to keep your communications as friendly as possible, and this often means keeping conversations short and to the point. It is often easier to express yourself in an email rather than on the phone or in person. Keep emails to the point and avoid bringing up matters from the past that have nothing to do with the issue at hand. Try to keep emotions out of conversations so they are more productive and matter-of-fact. It is also important to have in-person conversations outside of the presence of your children.


Stay Off Social Media

Everyone uses social media to give information to friends and family members. However, now is not the time to express yourself online. Keep in mind that your ex is likely looking at your social media sites and taking notes. Things that you say can come back to haunt you and can cause you some distress during your divorce. Do not post anything personal, and do not air your grievances for the world to see. If your spouse posts something negative, do not respond the same way. Keep your personal matters private, and remember that you should not post or say anything out of anger that you might later regret.


There are many issues that you and your spouse will need to work out during the divorce process. Some matters are more important than others. If you are having difficulty communicating with your spouse, talk to your attorney. Your lawyer will help to facilitate discussions over topics that are essential to the resolution of your settlement. To seek guidance in your divorce, contact our compassionate legal team at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, at (704) 370-2828 to schedule a consultation.






The family law practice group at Arnold & Smith, PLLC includes four Board-Certified Family Law specialists and one Child Welfare Law specialist, as well as several attorneys with many years of family law experience that are committed to providing a powerful voice to individuals facing the often-tumultuous issues in this area of law. The range of issues our family law clients may be facing include pre- and post-nuptial agreements; separation agreements; post-separation support; child support (both temporary and permanent); absolute divorce; divorce from bed and board; military divorce; equitable distribution of assets; child custody (both temporary and permanent); retirement benefits and divorce; alimony and spousal support; adoption; and emancipation. Because this area of the law is usually emotionally charged and complicated, the family law attorneys at Arnold & Smith, PLLC act with the utmost dedication to ensure that each client understands his or her options, and then act to achieve the best result possible for that client’s particular situation.



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