Parenting Styles and How They Affect Co-Parenting After Divorce

5Parenting Styles and How They Affect Co-Parenting After Divorce

Parenting after divorce can be challenging. Parents are often expected to co-parent even when they have an acrimonious relationship. Parents each have the same rights and responsibilities after they divorce. They must provide for their children’s needs and they each can spend time with their children. Sometimes, different parenting styles can make it hard to provide a stable environment for your kids.


Managing member Matt Arnold describes how Parenting Styles and How They Affect Co-Parenting After Divorce.


What are the Four Main Parenting Styles?

There are four main parenting styles as identified by researchers. If you and your former spouse have different styles of parenting, it can cause problems for you and your children as you try to co-parent after divorce.



Authoritarian parents generally have strict rules and require obedience. Authoritarian parents use discipline to require children to obey the rules they put in place. Authoritarian parenting does not typically involve a child’s feelings or give children input into any matters. Instead, the parent requires the child to meet or exceed their expectations or face consequences.



Authoritative parents set limits and enforce rules but also allow for input from the children. These parents spend time ensuring that they put fair rules in place and listen to their kids when they make decisions. This is a popular modern type of parenting that takes the children’s needs and feelings into consideration while still providing overall structure.




Permissive parents are usually lenient. They may allow their children quite a bit of freedom and might not always use punishments or consequences for negative behaviors. Although a permissive parent may put rules in place, they may not always enforce them. Permissive parents might allow their children to do whatever they want.



Uninvolved parents are sometimes called neglectful parents. These parents may focus more on themselves than on the kids. This type of parent may not spend much time with their children and might not pay attention to their schoolwork, activities, or interests. Their children are often left to their own devices, with neither rules nor much involvement at all with their parents.


Conflicting Parenting Styles

As is often the case, sometimes parents have conflicting styles of parenting. This can be especially problematic after a divorce when children are trying to adapt to a new normal. Parents with differing styles may want to discuss their differences and try to come to a compromise. It is helpful to agree to some set choices for how to parent their mutual children. If the parents have styles that are opposite, the children could act out or they might play each parent against the other. Children may prefer to stay with a parent who is less strict.


Get Help for Parenting After Divorce

Parenting together when you are married can be difficult, but it may get worse after you get divorced. It may be best to seek professional family counseling. Your counselor or therapist will help you resolve differences and facilitate a better-unified strategy for handling parenting responsibilities and duties after divorce. If you are going through a divorce, you can count on legal guidance from our experienced attorneys. Call us at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, at (704) 370-2828 to schedule a consultation today.

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The family law practice group at Arnold & Smith, PLLC includes four Board-Certified Family Law specialists and one Child Welfare Law specialist, as well as several attorneys with many years of family law experience that are committed to providing a powerful voice to individuals facing the often-tumultuous issues in this area of law. The range of issues our family law clients may be facing include pre-and post-nuptial agreements; separation agreements; post-separation support; child support (both temporary and permanent); absolute divorce; divorce from bed and board; military divorce; equitable distribution of assets; child custody (both temporary and permanent); retirement benefits and divorce; alimony and spousal support; and adoption. Because this area of the law is usually emotionally charged and complicated, the family law attorneys at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, act with the utmost dedication to ensure that each client understands his or her options and then work to achieve the best result possible for that client’s particular situation.




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