Articles Posted in Divorce

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

Most couples hope that in the event of a divorce they would be able to remain civil with one another, remembering all the good times and avoiding petty jealousies or anger. While that might be a best-case scenario, it is unfortunately not the most common outcome. Divorce can be emotionally grueling, costly and generally demoralizing. However, divorce, like all things, will eventually come to an end. The following are some tips by a collection of family law experts designed to help those going through a divorce keep the big picture in mind.

First things first, those who have seen the divorce process from the outside say that couples need to prepare for a long haul. Though you can and should hope that a divorce goes smoothly and remains on friendly terms, it is important that you prepare yourself for the worst. Brace yourself for a possible stressful and lengthy process and try to keep some energy in reserves for those days when it seems like there’s no end in sight. By hoping for the best and preparing for the worst you can ensure you aren’t caught unaware in cases where the divorce goes less than smoothly.

Another important piece of advice is to carefully choose your advisors and then rely on them during the hard parts of the divorce process. After selecting a North Carolina family law attorney, it is important to seriously consider his or her advice. After all, they understand not only the specifics of your case, but also the legal implications of your decisions. Though the decisions are ultimately your own, remember that you are in a vulnerable and emotional state and that relying on those who have experience with the divorce process is an excellent way to make your own divorce process easier.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can you guarantee I will get the resolution I want?”

An unfortunate study published by the Minnesota Population Center recently revealed some troubling news about the nation’s divorce rate. Rather than leveling off or declining, as many experts have long believed, the group says that the number is actually increasing and that the increases appear to be spread across nearly every age group.

For decades now, sociologists across the country have insisted that divorce rates for all couples have been in a steady decline since peaking in the early 1980s. However, armed with new and more extensive data gathered from the 2008 American Community Survey, it appears that this picture may have been overly optimistic.

The group says that it now appears to be the case that divorce rates are higher than previously thought, especially among older groups where divorce rates are said to have skyrocketed. Researchers say that the Baby Boom generation has continued demonstrating the same pattern of high marital instability even as they age. This trait has led to a threefold increase in the divorce rate of those between 60 and 65 since 1990. For those above 65, the divorce rate is up 500 percent.

Though Boomers have been blamed for much of the increase in divorce rates, younger generations have seen similar instability. Those in their 30s and 40s have also seen rising divorce rates, something experts say may be linked to increased cohabitation prior to marriage. Though living with a partner before marriage is no longer seen as a predictor of divorce, it also has not been shown to strengthen relationship stability.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

A recent article discussed some great advice for those either considering divorce or in the midst of an ongoing split. The advice comes from the perspective of a family law attorney and is meant to ensure divorce litigants avoid some common pitfalls during the process. By trying to be mindful of the following issues you could go a long way to improving the overall divorce experience.

First things first, it is important that you keep your eyes on the prize. What is the prize? Divorce. When people begin the divorce process and meet with their family law attorney they almost always have a clear goal in mind. Divorcing with as little pain as possible, securing a workable custody arrangement and reaching an equitable division of financial assets. Sounds good. The problem is that as the divorce process kicks into gear it becomes easy to lose sight of these goals and instead become consumed with daily bickering. Rather than get bogged down in minutiae, try and keep your focus on your long-term goals and rise above the day-to-day squabbles; let your attorney worry about those things.

It is also important to understand that avoiding unnecessary fights is not the same thing as giving up. Some divorce litigants make the mistake of thinking that those attorneys who insist on fighting for every last cup and saucer are the good ones. They think this kind of behavior shows devotion or toughness. In reality, engaging in unnecessary arguments only pads their legal bill and wastes money you could use later when starting your new life. Though no one advocates being a pushover, a truly experienced attorney will know what things are worthy of a fight and what things aren’t.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

A recent article in the Huffington Post discussed a common complaint that many clients have with their family law attorneys: a lack of communication. The article, written by a divorcee and now paralegal, offers insight into the problem as well as advice on how to ensure you don’t fall into an annoying trap of bad communication with your attorney.

In almost all aspects of life, communication is key. In fact, a breakdown in communication often contributes to many people’s decision to file for divorce in the first place. Given the time, money and stress involved in a divorce, you do not want to make an already tough situation worse by communicating badly with the one person who you’ve hired to help see you through the process.

Communication is critical during the North Carolina divorce process given how many sensitive issues need to be worked out before the divorce can be finalized. When communication breaks down between an attorney and his or her client, it can end up causing frustration on both sides as well as waste serious time and money.

Rather than wait for things to get bad and then having a meltdown over unmet expectations, the author of the Huffington Post piece suggests some proactive conversation with your lawyer from the very beginning to ensure communication lines stay open. To guarantee that you both are on the same page about how much communication is possible and the ways in which it should occur, it is a good idea to discuss communication procedures in your initial meeting with the lawyer.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”

To the surprise of many, the Pope has come forward and called for the faithful to have sympathy with those in the Catholic Church who have known the pain of divorce. Rather than condemn those whose marriages failed, Pope Francis asked the clergy and Catholics around the world to walk hand-in-hand with those who have felt the pain of failed love.

Pope Francis spoke during a daily mass at the Vatican and called on followers to avoid criticizing those who have gone through a divorce. Instead, followers are asked to remain close to them during their times of need.

The Pope’s remarks come at a sensitive time in the Catholic Church, when many are asking for a reexamination of the church’s position on the issue of divorce. Currently, those who have been divorced and not received an annulment are not allowed to take part in Communion, a holy and integral part of a Catholic service. Though these rules still exist technically, in reality they are rarely enforced at the local parish level.

Many in the Church are looking to Pope Francis to modernize some Catholic dogma, specifically issues relating to remarriage. Should the Pope decide to end the ban on receiving communion, many believe it would lead to broader questions and possible changes to how Catholics view marriage today.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

Those residents of North Carolina who find themselves trapped in unhappy relationships should count their lucky stars. Why? Because at least they don’t live in South Carolina.

The problem with South Carolina, at least for those trapped in bad marriages, is that the state is among the hardest to get a divorce in. According to a recent article in the Huffington Post, the total minimum process time for a divorce in South Carolina clocks in at a whopping 450 days. How long is this comparable to other places? Long enough to rank South Carolina as the fourth-slowest state for securing a divorce.

Another report on the subject of divorce ranked South Carolina abysmally with regard to ease of divorce, giving the state only 27 out of 100 points, a score low enough to make it fourth worst. There are several factors that combine to complicate the process of divorce in South Carolina.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Though no one knows for sure why it happens, experts say that the period between New Year’s and the end of March often sees a noticeable jump in divorce filings. Whether it’s the stress and expense of the holidays, the generally gloomy weather or the forced romance associated with Valentine’s Day, January through March has earned a reputation as the season of divorce.

Beyond mere anecdotal evidence, an analysis by the legal website FindLaw.com found that divorces spike every January, continue to increase in February and finally reach their peak in late March. After March, the divorce rate drops off noticeably.

Beyond those filing for divorce, there’s a similar increase in the number of people searching for divorce-related topics online. FindLaw says that the numbers of searches for phrases like “divorce” or “child custody” jump by more than 50 percent from December to January and continue to gain steam through March.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can you guarantee I will get the resolution I want?”

Everyone knows marriage is a risky proposition. You are handing your heart over to another person in the hope that he or she handles it with care. No one going into the marriage expects to end the relationship in divorce, sadly though, it is something that can happen to even the best couples.

A recent article on TheStir.com explored some surprising statistics regarding divorce that might make some couples seriously reconsider before taking the plunge. Though the facts aren’t meant to discourage true love, they should serve as a warning that marriage is a decision that should not be entered into lightly.

For one thing, the average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years. That means that most couples that are heading for a separation will just be reaching that stage in life where they have begun to acquire assets and settle into their careers. Eight years in, many people have already had a child or two, have purchased a home and have begun setting money aside for their future. Around the same time that things appear to be getting settled is actually when many couples call it quits.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “When do you get alimony?”

Everyone knows that divorce can be an emotional and exhausting experience. The end of a marriage, dividing up time with your children and splitting assets can bring out the worst in most people. The anger and pain associated with divorce can lead people to make unfortunate decisions that make an already bad situation much worse. The following are some examples of mistakes that North Carolina couples should work hard to avoid.

First things first, don’t use divorce as a way of seeking revenge. Though you might be understandably upset and even feel like the wronged party, using divorce to punish your former spouse is not a good idea. Demanding unnecessary depositions or filing frivolous petitions with your family court judge might make you feel better in the short term, but in the long run it will only succeed in driving up the overall cost of your divorce. If you are angry and hurt, it is a far more constructive use of your time and money to pay a therapist rather than drag out expensive litigation with your ex.

Another mistake that some people make when going through a North Carolina divorce is to overextend themselves financially. Divorce is notoriously costly and when you factor in things like alimony, child support and the costs of running two homes on the same amount of money that used to run only one, things can quickly get exorbitant. Those going through divorce need to be mindful of the costs associated with the process and be especially thoughtful before making financial commitments. Though you might want a flashy new apartment or car, make sure that you don’t enter into such decisions without first carefully examining your budget.

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