Articles Posted in Divorce

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

Many states have experimented with ways to shore up family units. Some have considered schemes to lengthen the amount of time couples must be separated before divorces will be approved by a judge. Others have mandated counseling sessions or parenting courses. In Oklahoma, the state did more than just pass laws; it spent more than $70 million trying to lower its divorce rate, something that appears to have done little or nothing to lower the rate.

New numbers released by the Census Bureau show that 13.5 percent of adults in Oklahoma filed for divorce in 2012, up from 11.6 percent in 2000. The rate is substantial and ranks Oklahoma’s among the highest divorce rates in the nation. The trouble is that this rate was reached despite nearly 14 years and $70 million spent by the government trying to fight divorce.

Back in 1999, Oklahoma created the Marriage Initiative, funded largely by federal welfare money. The organization offers counseling and workshops for couples in nearly every stage of a relationship, from those who are simply dating to those considering divorce. Estimates say that around 10 percent of the state’s adults have participated in workshops put on by the Marriage Initiative, something that appears to have done little to prevent the demise of relationships.

The results indicate that other states such as Texas, Georgia and even North Carolina where legislators are considering plans to make divorce more difficult to obtain should reconsider. These stalling techniques not only have not been shown to help, they might actually make things worse.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

A recent Yahoo article discussed how Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore finally formalized their divorce, more than two years after first announcing their separation. To many people the lengthy wait would feel like an eternity, but as with most things, Hollywood couples appear to operate differently.

Though North Carolina couples can expect to have a relatively straightforward divorce dispensed with in a matter of months, not years, experts say that in Hollywood such a long time is not unusual, in fact, it’s almost commonplace. Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger spent more than two years battling each other. Heather Mills and Paul McCartney took two years or so fighting over their millions. Even Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, a couple that was only married for a few months, spent a year and a half divorcing.

So what’s the reason for all the time spent fighting? Family law experts say that it typically boils down to one of two issues: money or anger. In the case of Demi and Ashton, both appeared to be factors, which explains the time it took to finally hammer out a settlement agreement.

Those close to the case say that Demi was hoping to get spousal support from Ashton and wanted to wait and see just how much he’d make from his new role on “Two and a Half Men.” Though Ashton is reportedly raking in millions from his sitcom, Demi will not be seeing any of it. The final agreement states that Demi will not receive spousal support, but will instead receive a healthy split of marital assets, including money that Ashton has invested in several tech startups.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect who gets custody?”

In an amusing case out of Michigan, one recently divorced man went the extra mile to convey his unhappiness to his ex-wife. According to a recent Yahoo article, Alan Markovitz decided to make a grand gesture following his split, installing a sculpture intended to irritate and offend.

Sources say that following the couple’s divorce, Alan found himself nursing a grudge and with money to spare. This sometimes dangerous combination of factors led Alan to purchase the home next door to the one occupied by his ex-wife and her new boyfriend. Ordinarily that would be crazy enough, but Alan took the whole thing even further by then erecting a 12-foot high statute of a middle finger in his backyard.

The controversial sculpture is clad in bronze, adding a lovely sheen to an otherwise obscene message. Photographs show that Alan arranged his artwork on his back patio so that it is in full view of the rear windows of his ex’s home. Alan also took steps to guarantee that his message was not lost at night, installing a spotlight to properly display the sculpture, something that makes the middle finger shine like a beacon.

The former Mrs. Markovitz has refused to comment about the artwork, but Alan was interviewed by a local Detroit station and was happy to take credit for the sculpture. He said that the idea was his own and that he felt compelled to take action after his wife moved into the home with a man Alan says she began dating while the two were still married.

Alan says that even though he did intend to irritate his ex, he never meant for the matter to be made public. The offending art work was only brought to light when his ex-wife’s daughter took a picture of the sculpture and sent it out to her Twitter followers, a photo that later took on a life of its own.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What children’s expenses are not covered by child support?”

Though it may sound bizarre, researchers with DePauw University say that it turns out a person’s yearbook photos might have some predictive ability when it comes to that person’s risk of divorcing later in life. The claim appears in DePauw psychology professor Matthew Hertenstein’s new book called The Tell: The Little Clues That Reveal Big Truths About Who We Are.

In his book, Hertenstein explores a 2009 study that he conducted which found that people who smiled more intensely were more likely to have longer lasting marriages than those who smiled meekly or not at all. Hertenstein said that the photographs could be from as far back as elementary school, but that they still had an ability to predict a person’s marital longevity.

Hertenstein conducted his research by having a team of psychology students examine several hundred college yearbook photographs and rate how intensely each person smiled. Subjects who received the higher overall smile intensity ratings were those that Hertenstein said activated two important facial muscles used for smiling: the muscles that are used to elevate the cheeks and the muscles that make the eyes smile, known as the orbicularis oculi muscles.

The psychology students then followed up with the yearbook subjects and asked them a range of questions about their married life. The subjects ranged in age from their mid-20s to late-80s. The results were surprising in that a correlation was found between those who smiled more and their chance of remaining married. According to the data, those who smiled the least in their yearbook photos were five times more likely to divorce at some point in their lives when compared to those who smiled the most intensely.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What are my custody rights if the other parent moves?”

Tom Cruise is currently in the midst of a $50 million lawsuit against the publisher of the gossip magazines In Touch and Life & Style, a lawsuit that has actually led to far more gossip tabloid headlines than Mr. Cruise likely intended. As part of his lawsuit, Cruise had to be deposed and was asked a series of probing questions about the dissolution of his marriage.

One of the most candid revelations contained in the deposition is the news that Cruise admits that one of the reasons Katie Holmes filed for divorce back in 2012 was to protect their daughter, Suri Cruise, from Scientology. Though many already view Scientology with suspicion, it’s the first time Cruise has ever acknowledged that his religious beliefs may have played a role in the demise of his relationship with Holmes.

The divorce case began in June of 2012, when Holmes filed to end their nearly six-year-old marriage. To the surprise of many, the entire matter was settled out of court in only two weeks. The settlement was private and no details have been released about the terms of their separation.

Another bit of information revealed during Cruise’s deposition is that Holmes was a practitioner of Scientology before and during her marriage to Cruise, but that she left the church almost immediately after filing for divorce from the famous actor. Cruise admitted that his daughter, Suri, has also stopped practicing Scientology.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

Last time we discussed a recent Yahoo article that contained some important advice for those in North Carolina looking to move on from a recent divorce and get back into the dating game. Continuing on the same theme, we’ll explore some of the other tips found in the article for how newly divorced North Carolinians can begin putting their divorce behind them and venture out into the dating world.

Another bit of advice contained in the Yahoo article is that newly single adults should try and take away the pressure to find the “one.” Instead of making yourself anxious about dating the perfect person who you will fall madly in love with for life, it’s often better to lower expectations and agree to simply meet new people and have fun. Don’t place so much emphasis on creating an immediate or deep connection. Instead, take time to get to know people and you will wind up enjoying the process much more.

One hard thing for many who are just getting back into the dating scene is to try and avoid taking rejection personally. The fact is that most relationships end. No matter how nice or pretty or bright you are, it is true that some other people will not find you compatible. This is not a reflection on your value as a human, but instead a simple matter of chemistry. It’s perfectly okay if someone you are dating wants to move on and meet new people, take the experience as a fun time to make new acquaintances and move forward with your head held high.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

One of the most difficult adjustments for those who just went through a North Carolina divorce can be the nervousness surrounding getting back into the dating scene. After years spent married to one person it’s understandable that you may be feeling rusty and unsure of how to start putting yourself out there. Though no one should feel rushed to begin dating, meeting new people is one very effective way of moving forward with your life and creating a new sense of normalcy following the emotional upheaval of divorce. Though it can be scary, the following advice compiled by a recent Yahoo article is meant to help ease your transition back into dating.

One strategy recommended by the author of the Yahoo piece is that you need to pace yourself. This requires taking some time to really examine your level of emotional pain following your North Carolina divorce. If the split was recent and it was especially difficult, it is not a good idea to dive back into dating until you’ve had some time to process what went wrong. If you rush back into a new relationship you could simply be setting yourself up for the same kind of mistakes. It’s best to take time and start to heal emotionally before opening yourself up again to a new romance.

Another important bit of advice is that newly single adults need to be careful to avoid repeating previous relationship mistakes. It’s common for those emerging from a divorce to look for new partners that remind them of their former spouse. This can be OK so long as the similar traits are good ones, but it can be a recipe for disaster if you are merely recreating the bad marriage you just ended. If you begin to notice that a new person you are dating has some of the same negative character flaws as your former spouse you need to get out of the relationship and take some time to reassess what is causing you to choose similarly destructive mates. Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result. If you want to build a healthier and happier marriage then you need to start making different choices.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Are overtime, bonuses, and commissions included in calculating child support?”

There is no doubt that divorce can be an unpleasant process. The fact is you are ending your marriage and dividing your assets and maybe even time with your children. Nothing about that is fun. However, there are some seldom-discussed benefits of divorce that can be useful to keep in mind while you’re in the midst of the ordeal. The Huffington Post recently discussed several such benefits in a post written by Alexandra Churchill and we’ll go over a few of those examples below.

You can actually be happier
Though it may seem hard to believe at first, the reality is splitting from an unhappy marriage can do wonders to improve your mood and outlook on life. The divorce itself is always rough, but afterwards the clouds tend to part as the realization that you no longer have to argue with your former spouse again begins to sink in. A study from a British university even confirmed this, finding that individuals, particularly women, are much happier five years after a divorce than they were in their marriage.

You can be healthier
Though some people may decide to stay married despite unhappiness out of fear of what being alone might be like, research has shown that the stress of a bad marriage is far more harmful than being single. Fighting all the time and feeling trapped with someone you no longer love has been shown to increase a person’s risk of dying prematurely. Having the weight of a lousy marriage lifted off your shoulder can dramatically lower stress levels, blood pressure and even lead to weight loss in some cases. Though divorce is no guarantee of physical fitness, it can relieve you of some heavy burdens.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Is there some property that the judge cannot divide?”

Normally when people discuss real estate booms they are talking about huge rises in the price of property. China has been no stranger to such talk as prices across the country have exploded as the country becomes increasingly developed. However, recent news reports have focused on a different boom precipitated by real estate: the number of couples choosing to divorce.

According to recent data, the number of couples in Beijing filing for divorce is up 41 percent so far this year over the number at this point last year. Figures show that nearly 40,000 couples in Beijing have filed for divorce in the first nine months of the year, a dramatic rise over the 2012 numbers when only 28,000 couples had decided to end their marriages.

The recent rapid rise in divorce rates does not appear to have been caused by dramatic societal changes or record marital discord, but instead appears to be largely financially motivated. That’s because earlier this year the Chinese government implemented a new capital gains tax of 20 percent on profits that owners make from selling property. However, the law specifies that couples that own at least two properties and then divide them amongst each other can then sell them tax-free.

This has led to wealthy Chinese couples who own multiple homes to divide houses and split, allowing them to cash in on the rise in property values without having to fork over 20 percent in taxes. The law also does not stipulate how long the couple needs to stay divorced to enjoy the tax break; meaning couples only need to divorce, make the sale and then remarry.

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