Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect my divorce case?”

A famous (and famously attractive) financial reporter at CNBC, dubbed the “Money Honey” by fans, has been named in the divorce filings of a CEO who many believe may have had an affair with the reporter.

According to the gossip site, Page Six, Maria Bartiromo is listed as a potential witness in the nasty divorce case involving former Citigroup CFO Todd Thomson. Thomson was an up and comer at Citigroup where he also served as CEO of the company’s Global Wealth Management division, but was summarily fired after it was discovered that he had used a corporate jet to ferry the Money Honey home from an event back in 2007.

At the time, the Wall Street Journal revealed that Thomson had bumped fellow executives at Citigroup from a return flight so he could fly alone with Bartiromo. Thomson was also accused of using Citigroup money to sponsor TV shows and events that featured Bartiromo, even naming the glamorous cable news anchor to a board he created at the Wharton School of Business.

Thomson argued that his relationship with Bartiromo, who is also married, was entirely appropriate. Despite his protests, Thomson’s wife, Melissa, has asked a Connecticut family law court permission to depose Bartiromo, claiming that she has personal knowledge of certain key facts that could directly prove Melissa’s case.

Earlier papers filed in the divorce note that Thomson admitted to his wife of 25 years that he had engaged in an extramarital affair. The revelation then prompted Melissa to file for divorce. Despite Bartiromo’s history with Thomson, it is not believed the affair that sparked the divorce involved the CNBC anchor.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How is the amount of child support decided in North Carolina?”

In a tragic child custody case out of Washington State, Eric Lehtinen has been arrested after police say he injected his four-year-old son with heroin and a variety of other toxic substances. Police officers say the drugging occurred on the same day that the his divorce with the boy’s mother was finalized and was intended to help delay the inevitable split.

Authorities say that the boy’s mother found her unconscious son lying in bed last week with a needle sticking out of his chest. She called 911 and, after EMTs raced her son to the hospital, a drug test was performed to find out what substances had been in the needle. Results indicated the presence of ketamine, morphine, codeine as well as heroin. Police say the Lehtinen not only injected the boy in his chest, but in his neck and his behind. Officials with Seattle Children’s Hospital say that the boy is still in the hospital recovering from the attack.

Divorce records indicate that the mother had asked the family court judge to order that her husband undergo regular drug tests as part of any custody arrangement. The issue arose because of the father’s past drug abuse and his recent claims of sobriety.

Police arrested Lehtinen and charged him with attempted murder in the first degree. His bail was set at $3 million and, if he is ultimately convicted, he could face a minimum 15-year sentence.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Are overtime, bonuses, and commissions included in calculating child support?”

A recent article on the Huffington Post discussed the trend of couples that are interested in either mediated or collaborative divorces. The author of the article noted how in some cases these could be options worth pursuing. However, rather than serve as an option for every couple, the story acknowledges that a negotiated divorce process can only work in certain cases.

To help find out if a mediated divorce would work well with you, consider the following questions:

How open is your communication with your spouse?

This is arguably the most important question to consider when debating a collaborative divorce. For the process to work and avoid reaching a stalemate, you both must be on very good terms with each other and be able to discuss sensitive issues, including money and custody, without anger or bitterness.

Is there still respect in the relationship?

Communication is key but respect is nearly as important. Though you certainly do not need to have romantic feelings to make a negotiated divorce work, there must be a mutual respect in order to work together so closely with your soon-to-be ex. If there is a fundamental lack of trust, then the process will likely never get off the ground and you’ll end up simply spinning your wheels.

Are you in a hurry?

One benefit to these negotiated divorces is that they are often much faster than engaging in protracted litigation. Divorce proceedings can tend to drag on when couples insist on fighting over a multitude of issues, but if you decide to go the mediation or collaboration route, things can move much more quickly. If you are looking to get remarried quickly this might be a good idea.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What rules are there for Father’s Right in NC?”

In a continuation of the last post, let’s discuss several more bits of advice offered by motivational speaker Gerald Rogers. Rogers has gained online fame after posting a note to his Facebook page listing a series of things he wishes that he knew before he got married. Rogers says he thinks the advice might have saved his marriage had he taken it to heart years ago. Now that it’s too late for him, he wanted to take the opportunity to share his wisdom with others in the hope that they might be able to salvage their relationships.

One bit of wisdom shared by Rogers is that couples need to grow together. As Rogers puts it, a stagnant pond breeds malaria while a flowing stream always stays fresh and cool. Couples need to avoid the natural tendency towards complacency in their relationship. Keep things fresh and interesting by always being eager to learn and grow. You should both be willing to try new things and go on new adventures. A relationship without growth should be taken as a warning sign that the end is near.

Rogers say that another thing he wishes he understood was how important it is to be transparent with the person you love. He says that in order to trust someone and to have them trust you in return you must be willing to share everything with them. He says this includes sharing those things that you might prefer to keep private. This kind of openness can take a lot of courage, but it’s critical if you want to create a deep and lasting connection with your partner. Drop the mask and feel safe being your true self in front of your spouse.

Though it can be hard at times, couples have to try and not worry about money. Rogers says that money is a game and that couples should view themselves as teammates in a competition to collect some. In a sport if teammates were constantly at each other’s throats it would be clear that they would likely fail to find success. The same is true with money in a relationship. Rather than fight with your spouse, work together and try and keep the stress level low.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Anyone that has ever gone through a divorce likely understands just how hard marriage can be and how much work it takes to keep one together. That’s why a recently divorced motivational speaker has decided to publish a list of 20 bits of advice for those readers who are still married and eager to ensure that their relationship survives.

The marriage advice compiled by Gerald Rogers has attracted a lot of attention online, earning nearly 70,000 “likes” on Facebook and nearly 100,000 shares. Rogers says he is certainly not a relationship expert, but notes that his time being married and then his time watching that marriage unravel has taught him a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work for the long haul.

Rogers says some of the following are some pieces of advice he wished he’d known years ago and thinks that if he had he might still be married. The first point noted by Rogers is that couples should never stop courting one another. Rogers says that both parties need to resist the urge for complacency and instead make sure that they avoid becoming lazy in love. To ensure a happy marriage you have to keep dating and keep the spark alive.

Another bit of wisdom is that couples have to try and fall in love over and over again. Rogers says that people change constantly and that, as a result, relationships must evolve too. If not, then it’s likely the party who has changed will grow unhappy with the relationship dynamic and may want out. He said that couples need to realize that every day a person must choose to continue to be with someone and it’s important that the decision to remain together is not taken lightly.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How is the amount of child support decided in North Carolina?”

A recent article on CaféMom.com focused on several examples of bad advice that women going through a divorce often hear. The author of the piece says that after she separated from her husband she found herself inundated with unsolicited advice about how to save her marriage.

Though the advice may have been well intentioned, it was usually misguided. Too many people fail to recognize that they will never understand the complicated emotions and actions that go into a marriage and their advice can inadvertently make an already difficult situation even worse.

One example of bad advice for someone facing a divorce is that the couple should simply stay married, that things will get better. This kind of advice is not only wrong, it can be offensive to those facing the end of their marriage, implying that had they simply stuck things out that a divorce would not have been necessary. The fact is that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity and continuing to stay in a broken marriage will not work to anyone’s benefit.

Another bit of bad advice is when friends of family members suggest staying together for the sake of the kids. The fact is children are remarkably able to adapt to changed circumstances and can easily thrive despite the demise of their parents’ marriage. Children are also not stupid and can tell if their parents are unhappy, merely keeping quiet about your displeasure for their sake will only make everyone miserable.

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