Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Questions To Ask When Considering A Negotiated Divorce :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: October 3, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Are overtime, bonuses, and commissions included in calculating child support?”

A recent article on the Huffington Post discussed the trend of couples that are interested in either mediated or collaborative divorces. The author of the article noted how in some cases these could be options worth pursuing. However, rather than serve as an option for every couple, the story acknowledges that a negotiated divorce process can only work in certain cases.

To help find out if a mediated divorce would work well with you, consider the following questions:

How open is your communication with your spouse?

This is arguably the most important question to consider when debating a collaborative divorce. For the process to work and avoid reaching a stalemate, you both must be on very good terms with each other and be able to discuss sensitive issues, including money and custody, without anger or bitterness.

Is there still respect in the relationship?

Communication is key but respect is nearly as important. Though you certainly do not need to have romantic feelings to make a negotiated divorce work, there must be a mutual respect in order to work together so closely with your soon-to-be ex. If there is a fundamental lack of trust, then the process will likely never get off the ground and you’ll end up simply spinning your wheels.

Are you in a hurry?

One benefit to these negotiated divorces is that they are often much faster than engaging in protracted litigation. Divorce proceedings can tend to drag on when couples insist on fighting over a multitude of issues, but if you decide to go the mediation or collaboration route, things can move much more quickly. If you are looking to get remarried quickly this might be a good idea.

Baby Veronica Returned To Adopted Parents :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: October 1, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

In a sign that the Baby Veronica child custody debacle might be finally coming to a close, the baby’s biological father, Dusten Brown, reportedly turned over the girl to her adoptive parents late Monday night at the Cherokee Tribe headquarters in Oklahoma.

According to news reports, Brown said his goodbyes at the tribal headquarters where he and his new wife have been living for the past several weeks while the custody fight reached a fevered pitch. Brown reportedly then made the handover to Matt and Melanie Capobianco at around 7:30 p.m. that evening, bringing to an end a lengthy dispute that went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

The decision to hand over custody occurred after the Oklahoma Supreme Court decided to lift a ruling that had kept Veronica in the state while Brown attempted to win permanent custody over the girl. A spokesperson says the Capobiancos have already left the state and are on their way back home to Charleston, SC.

The exchange was an emotional one for everyone. Reports indicate that Brown’s father, the girl’s grandfather, went into medical distress and had to be transported to a nearby hospital for treatment. The Capobiancos were reportedly relieved, glad to see that the lengthy custody fight had finally moved towards a conclusion that saw the return of their adopted daughter.

Reality Television Star Says Everyone Needs A Prenup :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 26, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Are overtime, bonuses, and commissions included in calculating child support?”

NeNe Leakes, a reality star famous for her role on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta, says that viewers should take her situation as proof that everyone should sign a prenuptial agreement. The outspoken star recently remarried her ex-husband, Gregg Leakes, after going through a messy divorce only a few years ago.

NeNe was on a talk show earlier this week where she extolled the virtues of a good prenup. NeNe mentioned that prenups are not necessarily bad things and will never be used or spoken of again if a couple stays happily married. However, if things go bad they are great tools to avoid unnecessary and expensive bickering during a divorce.

NeNe said that she believed prenups were important because they can ensure that couples don’t have to waste time and money arguing over who gets the flat screen television, or any number of other assets. NeNe says that the first time she was married to Gregg the two did not have a prenuptial agreement. Now that she has already been through one divorce with the man she says she knows how he fights and was shocked to see how nasty the divorce process became. Now that she knows how dark things can get when the gloves come off, she insisted that they sign a prenuptial agreement the second time around.

NeNe also mentioned an important point about prenups, that the documents do not have to be viewed as selfish things aimed only at protecting the wealthier party. Instead, she notes that her prenuptial agreement clearly says that she and her husband will share their assets. As she puts its, “My prenup says share with Gregg. It’s just specific on how I should share with [him].”

Baby Veronica Battle Rages On :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 24, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect who gets custody?”

The Baby Veronica battle rages on in Oklahoma as a spokesperson with the Oklahoma Courts said the two sets of parents are currently in the midst of a lengthy mediation over the future of the young girl. In fact, reports says that the mediation sessions have continued running well past the courthouse’s normal closing time, all efforts to ensure that the matter is wrapped up as quickly as possible.

The media has been in the dark most of this week about what has gone on in the case, with no comments being released by either side. Though it is now known that mediation is ongoing, it is not clear how much progress is being made. Both sides are currently under strict gag orders and are prevented from speaking to members of the media.

Reports indicate that the two groups have spent the past four days negotiating in a room in the Court of Civil Appeals building in downtown Tulsa. Previous statements by Matt and Melanie Capobianco indicate that the adoptive parents, who were awarded custody by South Carolina family law courts, have said that they wanted Veronica’s biological father Dusten Brown to be a part of the girl’s life. For their part, a friend of the Brown family recently said that the family had suggested sending Veronica to South Carolina for the summer to live with the Capobiancos so long as she could stay in Oklahoma during the school year.

The case is a sad one and difficult for both sides given that the Capobiancos raised Veronica in South Carolina for the first two years of her life. Since then, Brown has had Veronica with him and his new wife in Oklahoma for the last two years. Experts say that given how emotional the case has become it is likely that neither group will leave the mediation completely satisfied. However, the goal of the mediation is to produce a solution that both groups can live with.

Tragic Child Custody Fight Ends In Murder Charges :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 19, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

In an especially tragic case out of Arizona, law enforcement officials revealed that a woman has been charged with two counts of murder with special circumstances following the death of her two children. According to officials with the police department, the woman killed her two kids to avoid having to hand custody over to their father in Georgia.

A judge in Georgia recently awarded Mark Edge custody of the couple’s two children. The custody fight had gone for months and was incredibly contentious according to those familiar with the case. Marilyn Edge, the children’s mother, was reportedly furious with the result and decided to poison her two young children in a California hotel room rather than send them to their father.

The heartbreaking incident occurred last weekend when Edge gave her children poison and proceeded to drive her car into an electrical box outside a nearby by Home Depot. The murders took place only days before Marilyn was supposed to turn the children over to her husband and begin paying court ordered child support. Tragically, rather than being met by his children, Mark was instead informed by a police officer of the devastating news.

Authorities say the case is stunning given that one of the children, a 13-year-old boy, was autistic and in need of specialized care that Mark had hoped to provide. Now, Mark will have to try and put the pieces of his shattered life back together while his ex-wife faces a possible lengthy prison sentence.

Relationship Advice From A Recently Divorced Man: Part II :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 17, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What rules are there for Father’s Right in NC?”

In a continuation of the last post, let’s discuss several more bits of advice offered by motivational speaker Gerald Rogers. Rogers has gained online fame after posting a note to his Facebook page listing a series of things he wishes that he knew before he got married. Rogers says he thinks the advice might have saved his marriage had he taken it to heart years ago. Now that it’s too late for him, he wanted to take the opportunity to share his wisdom with others in the hope that they might be able to salvage their relationships.

One bit of wisdom shared by Rogers is that couples need to grow together. As Rogers puts it, a stagnant pond breeds malaria while a flowing stream always stays fresh and cool. Couples need to avoid the natural tendency towards complacency in their relationship. Keep things fresh and interesting by always being eager to learn and grow. You should both be willing to try new things and go on new adventures. A relationship without growth should be taken as a warning sign that the end is near.

Rogers say that another thing he wishes he understood was how important it is to be transparent with the person you love. He says that in order to trust someone and to have them trust you in return you must be willing to share everything with them. He says this includes sharing those things that you might prefer to keep private. This kind of openness can take a lot of courage, but it’s critical if you want to create a deep and lasting connection with your partner. Drop the mask and feel safe being your true self in front of your spouse.

Though it can be hard at times, couples have to try and not worry about money. Rogers says that money is a game and that couples should view themselves as teammates in a competition to collect some. In a sport if teammates were constantly at each other’s throats it would be clear that they would likely fail to find success. The same is true with money in a relationship. Rather than fight with your spouse, work together and try and keep the stress level low.

Relationship Advice From A Recently Divorced Man :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 12, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Anyone that has ever gone through a divorce likely understands just how hard marriage can be and how much work it takes to keep one together. That’s why a recently divorced motivational speaker has decided to publish a list of 20 bits of advice for those readers who are still married and eager to ensure that their relationship survives.

The marriage advice compiled by Gerald Rogers has attracted a lot of attention online, earning nearly 70,000 “likes” on Facebook and nearly 100,000 shares. Rogers says he is certainly not a relationship expert, but notes that his time being married and then his time watching that marriage unravel has taught him a lot about what it takes to make a relationship work for the long haul.

Rogers says some of the following are some pieces of advice he wished he’d known years ago and thinks that if he had he might still be married. The first point noted by Rogers is that couples should never stop courting one another. Rogers says that both parties need to resist the urge for complacency and instead make sure that they avoid becoming lazy in love. To ensure a happy marriage you have to keep dating and keep the spark alive.

Another bit of wisdom is that couples have to try and fall in love over and over again. Rogers says that people change constantly and that, as a result, relationships must evolve too. If not, then it’s likely the party who has changed will grow unhappy with the relationship dynamic and may want out. He said that couples need to realize that every day a person must choose to continue to be with someone and it’s important that the decision to remain together is not taken lightly.

Article Discusses Common Bad Advice Given To Those Facing Divorce :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 10, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How is the amount of child support decided in North Carolina?”

A recent article on CaféMom.com focused on several examples of bad advice that women going through a divorce often hear. The author of the piece says that after she separated from her husband she found herself inundated with unsolicited advice about how to save her marriage.

Though the advice may have been well intentioned, it was usually misguided. Too many people fail to recognize that they will never understand the complicated emotions and actions that go into a marriage and their advice can inadvertently make an already difficult situation even worse.

One example of bad advice for someone facing a divorce is that the couple should simply stay married, that things will get better. This kind of advice is not only wrong, it can be offensive to those facing the end of their marriage, implying that had they simply stuck things out that a divorce would not have been necessary. The fact is that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity and continuing to stay in a broken marriage will not work to anyone’s benefit.

Another bit of bad advice is when friends of family members suggest staying together for the sake of the kids. The fact is children are remarkably able to adapt to changed circumstances and can easily thrive despite the demise of their parents’ marriage. Children are also not stupid and can tell if their parents are unhappy, merely keeping quiet about your displeasure for their sake will only make everyone miserable.

Best Buy CEO Sells Millions Of Shares To Pay Mounting Divorce Tab :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 5, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How much does it cost to get divorced, and how does the billing process work?”

A recent financial disclosure form by the CEO of Best Buy reveals just how pricey divorce can sometimes be. The Chief Executive of Best Buy, Hubert Joly, announced to the press that he had to sell $10.4 million in shares of Best Buy stock to help fund his ongoing divorce.

According to a report filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Joly’s sale of 350,000 shares of stock took place earlier this month. A company spokesperson says that Joly’s sale of stock has nothing to do with a negative outlook on the prospects of the company. Instead, the official said that Joly’s sale was necessary to liquidate some of the CEO’s assets to help pay for a pricey divorce. Despite the sale, Joly remains heavily invested in Best Buy.

Though most couples in North Carolina do not have the luxury of selling millions of dollars of stock to fund a pricey divorce, money is an incredibly common worry about the divorce process, regardless of income. In fact, a recent survey found that among those couples without children who were facing divorce, the cost of divorce was the number one concern. Surprisingly, the cost of divorce rated even higher than worries over dividing marital assets. Among couples with children, the cost of the divorce was second only to worries about child custody and visitation schedules.

So how can people keep their divorce costs from spiraling out of control? First and foremost try and make the divorce less adversarial. In Joly’s case, his split from his ex has been incredibly combative and has stretched on for many months. The fact is simple: the longer a divorce lasts the more expensive it will be. Though no one should simply agree to hand everything over to his or her spouse in the interest of expediency, there is also no reason to fight tooth and nail over every knickknack.

“Martin” Turns Back Into “Messiah” After Tennessee Judges Overrules Lower Court :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: September 3, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

A judge in Tennessee has reversed the ruling of a chancery court judge from Cocke County regarding the ability of a couple to name their 8-month-old son “Messiah.” The case began last month when the boy’s mother and father were in court arguing over the child’s last name. Oddly enough, the two had actually agreed that the boy’s first name would be Messiah.

While in court, Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew said that she was offended by the name choice and said that the child should instead be called “Martin.” Ballew based her decision on the religiosity of those living in the rural area of the state, saying that the child might have a hard time being raised in an area that is so predominantly Christian. Ballew told the parents that “Messiah” is a title and the title has only been earned by one person, Jesus Christ.

The parents were shocked to discover they could not name their child as they wished and appealed the decision. The mother’s attorney said they appealed because the couple was in agreement about the first name and had never chosen it for religious reasons. Instead, the mother claims she thought that the word sounded nice.

Just this past week Chancellor Telford Fogerty overturned Ballew’s initial decision, deciding that the lower court acted unconstitutionally in changing the child’s name to Martin. Judge Fogerty said that the lower court’s decision amounted to a violation of the establishment clause of the U.S. Constitution and added that the purpose of the proceeding was to determine the child’s last name, not to litigate the appropriateness of the child’s first name. The Establishment Clause, one of the first pronouncements contained in the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, says that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion. This has generally been interpreted to prohibit the establishment of a national religion by Congress and to prevent the preference by the U.S. government of one religion over another. Given that the lower judge’s ruling was based on Christian theology and not the law, Judge Fogerty had no choice but to reverse course. And just like that, Martin was turned back into Messiah.