Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

Last time we discussed a recent Yahoo article that contained some important advice for those in North Carolina looking to move on from a recent divorce and get back into the dating game. Continuing on the same theme, we’ll explore some of the other tips found in the article for how newly divorced North Carolinians can begin putting their divorce behind them and venture out into the dating world.

Another bit of advice contained in the Yahoo article is that newly single adults should try and take away the pressure to find the “one.” Instead of making yourself anxious about dating the perfect person who you will fall madly in love with for life, it’s often better to lower expectations and agree to simply meet new people and have fun. Don’t place so much emphasis on creating an immediate or deep connection. Instead, take time to get to know people and you will wind up enjoying the process much more.

One hard thing for many who are just getting back into the dating scene is to try and avoid taking rejection personally. The fact is that most relationships end. No matter how nice or pretty or bright you are, it is true that some other people will not find you compatible. This is not a reflection on your value as a human, but instead a simple matter of chemistry. It’s perfectly okay if someone you are dating wants to move on and meet new people, take the experience as a fun time to make new acquaintances and move forward with your head held high.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

One of the most difficult adjustments for those who just went through a North Carolina divorce can be the nervousness surrounding getting back into the dating scene. After years spent married to one person it’s understandable that you may be feeling rusty and unsure of how to start putting yourself out there. Though no one should feel rushed to begin dating, meeting new people is one very effective way of moving forward with your life and creating a new sense of normalcy following the emotional upheaval of divorce. Though it can be scary, the following advice compiled by a recent Yahoo article is meant to help ease your transition back into dating.

One strategy recommended by the author of the Yahoo piece is that you need to pace yourself. This requires taking some time to really examine your level of emotional pain following your North Carolina divorce. If the split was recent and it was especially difficult, it is not a good idea to dive back into dating until you’ve had some time to process what went wrong. If you rush back into a new relationship you could simply be setting yourself up for the same kind of mistakes. It’s best to take time and start to heal emotionally before opening yourself up again to a new romance.

Another important bit of advice is that newly single adults need to be careful to avoid repeating previous relationship mistakes. It’s common for those emerging from a divorce to look for new partners that remind them of their former spouse. This can be OK so long as the similar traits are good ones, but it can be a recipe for disaster if you are merely recreating the bad marriage you just ended. If you begin to notice that a new person you are dating has some of the same negative character flaws as your former spouse you need to get out of the relationship and take some time to reassess what is causing you to choose similarly destructive mates. Remember that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result. If you want to build a healthier and happier marriage then you need to start making different choices.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Are overtime, bonuses, and commissions included in calculating child support?”

There is no doubt that divorce can be an unpleasant process. The fact is you are ending your marriage and dividing your assets and maybe even time with your children. Nothing about that is fun. However, there are some seldom-discussed benefits of divorce that can be useful to keep in mind while you’re in the midst of the ordeal. The Huffington Post recently discussed several such benefits in a post written by Alexandra Churchill and we’ll go over a few of those examples below.

You can actually be happier
Though it may seem hard to believe at first, the reality is splitting from an unhappy marriage can do wonders to improve your mood and outlook on life. The divorce itself is always rough, but afterwards the clouds tend to part as the realization that you no longer have to argue with your former spouse again begins to sink in. A study from a British university even confirmed this, finding that individuals, particularly women, are much happier five years after a divorce than they were in their marriage.

You can be healthier
Though some people may decide to stay married despite unhappiness out of fear of what being alone might be like, research has shown that the stress of a bad marriage is far more harmful than being single. Fighting all the time and feeling trapped with someone you no longer love has been shown to increase a person’s risk of dying prematurely. Having the weight of a lousy marriage lifted off your shoulder can dramatically lower stress levels, blood pressure and even lead to weight loss in some cases. Though divorce is no guarantee of physical fitness, it can relieve you of some heavy burdens.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Is there some property that the judge cannot divide?”

Normally when people discuss real estate booms they are talking about huge rises in the price of property. China has been no stranger to such talk as prices across the country have exploded as the country becomes increasingly developed. However, recent news reports have focused on a different boom precipitated by real estate: the number of couples choosing to divorce.

According to recent data, the number of couples in Beijing filing for divorce is up 41 percent so far this year over the number at this point last year. Figures show that nearly 40,000 couples in Beijing have filed for divorce in the first nine months of the year, a dramatic rise over the 2012 numbers when only 28,000 couples had decided to end their marriages.

The recent rapid rise in divorce rates does not appear to have been caused by dramatic societal changes or record marital discord, but instead appears to be largely financially motivated. That’s because earlier this year the Chinese government implemented a new capital gains tax of 20 percent on profits that owners make from selling property. However, the law specifies that couples that own at least two properties and then divide them amongst each other can then sell them tax-free.

This has led to wealthy Chinese couples who own multiple homes to divide houses and split, allowing them to cash in on the rise in property values without having to fork over 20 percent in taxes. The law also does not stipulate how long the couple needs to stay divorced to enjoy the tax break; meaning couples only need to divorce, make the sale and then remarry.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center has discovered what some people long suspected: divorce may be contagious. The survey suggested to researchers that the risk of divorce increases when someone close to you divorces, perhaps opening a door you may not have realized existed.

A team of researchers based at Brown University analyzed data gathered from couples in Framingham, Massachusetts over nearly thirty years. The study showed that of the individuals studied, a person was 75 percent more likely to divorce their own spouse if a friend chose to divorce. Surprisingly, divorce contagion appeared quite virulent, with a person becoming 33 percent more likely to divorce even when a friend of a friend divorces. However, the divorce of a friend of a friend of a friend was shown to have little if any impact on a person’s chance of divorcing.

Researchers say that viewing divorce as a kind of disease may not be so far off. In fact, the lead researcher indicated that divorce could spread quickly through close groups of friends, with social networks being impacted by the marital strife of friends twice removed.

The authors note that this phenomenon, known as “social contagion,” is not limited to divorce, but incudes other things such as teenage sexual behavior, bad attitudes in a workplace or even obesity among friends. Another survey back in 2006 showed how brothers and sisters are substantially more likely to have a child of their own soon after a sibling gives birth.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What happens when a person’s income is not guaranteed and fluctuates from year to year?”

An extraordinarily high-priced Manhattan divorce lawyer just lost an important case that legal experts say could result in big changes in how high-profile divorces are handled in the future. The attorney, Robert Cohen, has represented big time movie stars like Uma Thurman and James Gandolfini as well as big time Wall Street execs and their wives. The recent case involves the latter, the wife of a wealthy hedge fund executive.

In the case, Amanda Sykes, the unemployed wife of hedge fund founder George Sykes, has been the main force behind a bitter dispute that has already cost George a small fortune. In New York family law cases the wealthy party foots the divorce bill for both sides, an unofficial but common practice. However, George balked after receiving his wife’s legal bills and demanded that something be done.

In response, George’s attorney brought a complaint before a Manhattan family law court, saying that Amanda should be forced to pay her legal bills out of her own money. George’s attorney noted that Amanda had racked up an astounding $700,000 in legal fees in the first two months of the case alone and has since spent more than $1 million in attorney’s fees. George argued the case was a feeding frenzy for attorneys and that he should not have to foot the bill for his wife’s reckless legal spending.

The Manhattan judge ultimately agreed with George, saying that Amanda should be forced to pay her own bills if she is intent on engaging in such costly litigation. As George’s attorney successfully argued, his client has every incentive to curtail litigation as much as possible, even if that means accepting a higher settlement than he may think is fair. Amanda, on the other hand, has no skin in the game and thus has no incentive to settle the case given that she is not bearing any financial burden.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How is the amount of child support decided in North Carolina?”

Hip hop mogul and mega producer Timbaland must now face the music as his wife announced public plans to call it quits on the couple’s five year marriage. According to a new reports, Monique Mosley has filed for divorce from the 41-year-old producer whose legal name is Timothy Mosley.

Monique has come out swinging in her dispute, demanding that Timbaland pay a long list of her expenses. Monique’s complaint for divorce says that Timbaland should be responsible for paying for her life insurance, permanent alimony, their children’s private schooling, summer camp, multiple vacations as well as attorney’s fees.

In a twist that has surprised many, Monique has also requested that Timbaland be ordered to pay child support for not only their five-year-old daughter, but also for a 10-year-old that Monique had from a previous relationship. The divorce papers claim that Timbaland has publicly and privately claimed the child as his own and that, despite the lack of biological connection, Timbaland ought to be responsible for supporting the child.

Though this concept may come as a surprise to many who believe that child support is only owed to biological children, the fact is that there is another way that a person can be held liable for child support. This approach is referred to as “detrimental reliance through promissory estoppel.” The short explanation of this convoluted term says that when a person holds themselves out to society as the parent, the child comes to believe that he or she is the child. If the person suddenly renounces their parenthood, the child will be psychologically, socially and financially damaged.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

In an incredibly strange case out of New York, law enforcement officials have revealed that the FBI raided a yeshiva and a rabbi’s Brooklyn home earlier this week in an attempt to unravel a gang of rabbis who torture men into agreeing to divorce.

That’s right, according to FBI sources a gang of ultra-Orthodox Jewish rabbis have accepted thousands of dollars to kidnap and torture Jewish men to force them into granting their wives a divorce. Though the news is stunning, many familiar with the Orthodox community say they were not actually shocked given the serious issues the community has faced dealing with divorce.

According to the criminal complaint, two Orthodox rabbis, Mendel Epstein and Martin Wolmark, operated a scheme where they took payment (often thousands of dollars per case) in exchange for using violence and intimidation to convince reluctant husbands to grant their wives a “get”, a term that refers to a religious divorce in the Jewish community.

In the Orthodox Jewish community, a woman remains married unless she receives a get. That means that even if a family court in New York were to grant a legal divorce, the woman would be forbidden to remarry within her religion.

The case was ultimately cracked due to a sting operation where an undercover FBI agent pretended to be a woman desperate for a divorce with money to spend to force her husband to consent to a get. The woman was ultimately put in touch with Rabbi Epstein who told her that the kidnaping and a couple of hours of torture with an electric cattle prod would cost about $10,000 for rabbinical approval and another $50,000 to $60,000 to pay for the tough guys to do the threatening.

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